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My First Time

By Christopher

The movie we chose was not really that important. At fourteen, of course we all wanted to see Beavis and Butthead Do America as many times as possible. As none of us could drive to the theatre, we agreed to meet in the lobby after buying our tickets. I was relieved when I found one of my closest friends, Derrick. He had told me earlier that a girl that I did not particularly like would also be coming. His presence relieved some of my anxiety. After Pam and her boyfriend arrived, we all entered the theatre. Derrick immediately led us to the back row. We both let Pam and Chad enter first, so that we would not be bothered by their typical teenage behaviour while "watching" a movie. Derrick and I sat down comfortably in our seats to the left of them and laughed loudly about Pam and Chad's anticipated "show".

None of us paid much attention to Beavis repeatedly hitting Butthead in the stomach. In fact, all of us had already seen the movie. To pass the time, Pam and Chad were up to their usual conduct just to the right of Derrick. He and I quickly noticed, though, that Pam kept glancing suggestively towards Derrick. We both were unsure of her intentions while she sat making out with her boyfriend. Overcome with a hormonal drive, Derrick eventually grabbed her hand and began licking it, trying to tease her. I immediately became jealous of Pam and without thinking, grabbed Derrick's hand in response. Sucking on each one of his fingers, I was amazed at such a new experience. I had never kissed anyone or anything before. His fingers had the distinct scent of an unclean boy. Normally, I would have cringed at such an aroma, but now I could not stop trying to suck every last taste of skin from his fingers. Derrick grabbed my leg with his free arm and began exploring my upper thigh. For the first time, I was not ashamed of such contact, but was exhilarated more and more as it continued. Only twenty minutes after the movie had started, all four of us had created a train of lips and hands. Pam, the only girl, seemed to enjoy being surrounded by three boys, all participating in the sexual rendezvous. After some boredom had set in, we rearranged ourselves so as to be sitting next to a new companion. Much to my chagrin, Pam grabbed my arm and set it on her leg. I looked over and saw my old companion, Derrick, focusing his energy on Pam's arm. The thought of caressing Pam's leg was not nearly as satisfying as my recent memory of tasting the skin of Derrick's fingers. Fortunately, I was not given too much time to feign pleasure from attending to Pam's needs. The movie ended, and we all hurriedly recomposed ourselves. As Chad proceeded to direct us out of the theatre, Derrick glanced at me with some kind of confused, elated, and irate expression. My mixed interpretation left me baffled at how I should approach him about our encounter.

Outside the theatre, Chad and Pam decided to take the longer path to the malt shop. Derrick and I found a more secluded route that wound through some trees. I looked at him, hoping to find some hope in his eyes. I wanted him to have felt the same enjoyment that I had, so that I would know that the pleasure I had felt was not mine alone. Instead of giving me this relief, he looked at me and said, "I don't love you," with an incredible fury in his voice. He stopped suddenly on the path and looked away from me. I stared at him, petrified at what he was going to do next now that he had knowledge of my deepest secret. The dilapidated trees surrounding us exaggerated the eerie feeling that ran to the end of my appendages. The sudden urge to get away from him overcame me as this sensation reached my toes. Without conscious provocation, my feet took off below me. I started to run without direction. Derrick yelled something at me, either in condolence or rage, but I could not hear him as I finally directed my feet to Chad and Pam at the malt shop. I recomposed myself as quickly as I could, trying to appear indifferent to Derrick's arrival shortly after mine. He glared at me and without explanation, walked briskly to the back of the malt shop, behind a fence. The thought of following him both thrilled and terrified me. Pam and Chad looked at me with the question of what was going on on their faces. I had no choice but to pursue Derrick as he slowly disappeared behind the building. Reluctantly, I glimpsed around the corner. He tenderly grabbed my waist and pulled his mouth to mine. Completely surprised, I allowed his tongue to pass my lips. Its taste complemented the taste of his skin that I had experienced earlier. Only a minute after we had started kissing, Derrick abruptly pulled away. I looked at him and saw his eyes open widely and his jaw drop dramatically. From the expression on Derrick's face, I sensed that Chad was standing behind me and had been watching our hidden engagement. Thoughts of ridicule and even death pervaded my conscience. Expectedly, Chad approached us with much swagger. Unexpectedly, he forcefully grabbed Derrick's arm and kissed him vigorously. I stood in utter disbelief. What seemed as only microseconds later, Chad turned to me, and consequently I tasted the second tongue of my life.

The next day at school, no mention of the previous night was made. Derrick and I glanced at each other once the entire school day. He approached me as I was heading towards the bus lot. Barely audible, he murmured, "I do not love you." Two years would pass before I could kiss another man.


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