My friend... I heard she's moving again... :( Now I don't have any hope of seeing her again. Fuck... Fuck! I mean, the town is an hour away, and she was already 30 minutes away, but it's still saddening. When she left, she said she may be back in eleventh grade, but now she can't! She can't... I hate my stupid fucking life. I don't care how angry fifth-grader that sounds. I don't actually mean it, but I just feel all gross now...

So today we had a field trip. I was sitting on the bus talkign to people froma rt school. Somehow, somebody goes "Jeez, Skylar, you have tiny hands!"

I started getting all defensive like, then somebody goes "Haha, you have girl hands!" (Not meanly... just jokingly). I was just like "Meh, stop making fun of my tiny hands!" but... I dunno. Weird thing to be brought up.

Also, somebody asked me what my... stuff... was named. I just ignored him. Also weird. oO

Bioguys say weird things when they outnumber girls 3-1 and that girl is one they're really comfortable around. >>

"We'll Carry on!!!" ~ Welcome to the black parade. (now u got to think of this soulfully. singing it out with all the desperation and determination of its meaning.)

I feel as if I'm stuck in a rut.

I'm ready to move forward - to explode into the future! Yet, I'm still held back by all these things that seem truly and utterly trivial to me. Why should I have to the SAT, the ACT and the SAT-II Subject Tests? They're not real life - I'm not going to have to fill in a fucking bubble as a doctor. Or as a sociology professor. Or as anything I want to be or do.

nope. i left home with out anything to eat. but i have gum so i should be good for the 1 1/2 im at school. :). i got here today, and it didnt feel like it usually does. which sucks alot. cause that means i dont want to be here....which i shouldnt be feeling on account that im only here twice a week...maybe its the whole not being able to talk to christina. oh, i snuck the phone again last night :P we only talked for about 7 minutes or so cause she had to get ready for school. :(. but i felt so much better. i actually fell asleep right away and i didnt cry. :D. but i just dont feel the same.

so i hav this freshman girl who is bisexual; supposedly were dating. i was happy about it until i realized i did indeed have a bf. he lives in the dominican republic and i thought hed forgotten about me. (this is not the ex i frequently complain about in other posts). so yea im confused. ill have to break it to her soon and explain how ramon just emerged out of the woodwork and back into my life. i dont lik cheaters and i will never become one. EVER. thats final. other than this confusion, life is good.
I LOVE YOU RAMON!!!

I'm nervous. :( Tomorrow I am FINALLY going to take my permit test. I don't know if I'm ready. I intended to study a lot tonight but was distracted by video games. If I fail, then I'm gonna feel like a... well... failure! One of my friends has failed twice already. Eeek, I hope I am not like him... And then my rival got it on the first try without even studying!

and the groin of the face!

Anyway...
What job would you least like to have, and most like to have?

Hmmmmmmmm...
My mom has a degree in chemical engineering, and had a job with the government for a while. Something like that would be the job I'd most like to have.

And least favorite job?
Gynecologist. Definitely. If some of you don't know what that is, it's the vagina doctor. A doctor that specializes in women. Ewwwwwwww....

you can't defeat
these loving notions
humans defined
what is inside
and some don't believe
in these emotions
but some can conceive
of what many hide
love does exist
there is a reason
she can't leave
my running mind
and heaven is here
for us to find it
up and above
these proven signs
so when you can see
the light in darkness
or brightness that comes
from dulling rain
then you can believe
that I am honest
in sharing these thoughts
that I retain

what's the deal with "lesbians and softball"?
none of the girls at my school who are on softball
are lesbians...so why the stereotype? o.0

I am going camping with a bunch of girls... Not only the only guy/gay, but the only one for 3 DAYS!!!!!!! When I get home I'll let everyone know if I killed anyone...

I over analyze everything, I am moody and I am a sulker. I can run away from those three facts all I want, but they are true, and if I don't learn to control all three I am going to end up a very miserable lonely person. I have been over analyzing some things my friends have been doing, which has made me moody and in turn sulky the last few days.

Ughh it's just one of those days. I'm exhausted and I have a ton of work to do. I have to finish a chemistry open book test, which is hard because the book is not straightforward at all.

I have to write an elegy poem, study for an english essay midterm, and between now and Thursday I have to read the second half of A Tree grows In Brooklyn and do a book report project on it...When will I ever sleep?

I'm so like this girl like now:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j54yGxuk0yo&feature=fvst

OMG!!!!

So.. today ordinary day, 2 paper-tests an ordinary day in fact. At the end of the day I went into Katapi's classroom and I just shaked hands with him nothing more and said hi.

Now as we were talking he told me in spanish that he loves me from the deep of his soul xD.

Then he said that it was for his girlfriend but I felt good anyways haha.
Now I feel great and I'm still in shock , I really thought that he meant to be true .