hes gone again
Well, I don't think I mentioned this here, but my orchestra went to Costa Rica for a week over Spring Break.
I could give you some bullshit travelogue, but I know it wouldn't mean much to you if you weren't there. I'll stick to the important bits.
First, the country itself. It's a beautiful country. It was the first in the world to have no army for itself, established in 1949, and looking at the people, you can imagine why. I can't imagine those people in the military. They're too nice.
been crazy busy lately
giving a lecture
getting into performance art
modelling for magazines and art films
getting hired as editor for my school's undergraduate academic journal
networking and building contacts
i love performing and modelling
(independently/word-of-mouth for art-oriented projects, no commercial work, so i don't have the pressures of a commercial agency)
it's really helped me to overcome some of my feelings about my body
We had plans to walk around the lake this week, and now he isn reaponding to the texts I've sent. Now I'm just bored, disappointed, and lonely. There's absolutely nothing to do.
Cute Blonde Girl got hurt recently. Fractured something? I don't know. I'm not really sure what all the correct terminology is. She has to be on crutches for 6 weeks, and she's really miserable because the crutches hurt her arms and she is always too sore to do much of anything, so she's stuck inside a lot. That's particularly awful because spring is her favorite and the weather is finally starting to get nice, and she had really been looking forward to running outside. So she's pretty upset about it all. I went to Starbucks with her Thursday morning in between classes, and I got her a little get well present-- some jelly beans (her favorite) and a really cheesy card with a dog on it. I wrote something equally dumb in the card, and she loved it anyway, haha. She said she's putting it front and center on her bulletin board full of cards.
Quick update about this week.
I almost came out to some friend when we were talking about really personal stuff and mostly it was because she told me that she kinda got a crush on her coach, but when I had the guts to tell her some friend came and ruined our talk, since this thing I've been noticing how close we're getting.
you were the light bulb to my projector
the voice box to this whisper
but who would ever admit
that he/she misses
but yeah anyways i miss her
i cant think clear
amazing that i can bare
thoughts i cant share
well with the person that it matters w/
i use 2 flatter with
the thoughts i shared
"and the silence surrounds you
and holds you"
yeah i know i did
known as a pest
but just know you were my best
each day a slap in the face
my addiction a disgrace
at how no one can
i boast my sadness
with my eyes
This is something I originally was going to use for my Introduction To Debate class, but I think it'll be more suitable here.
I've been playing sports for my entire life, really for as long as I can remember. Some of my earliest baby pictures have footballs and baseballs as props, and I think being an athlete is in my blood. I've played on competitive teams since I was five, and being taller than the other boys has always been an advantage to me as is being a naturally fast runner.
I went walking in the woods yesterday and saw a massive blue Heron there, which was an amazing sight. It was probably the biggest bird I've ever seen.
the sun stands still
over a city
and brightly colored cars pass by
some on the streets, some in the sky
music blares from a window
and colors swirl through the air
matching the sounds
a man walks past
he's wearing a hat
he hasn't a face
or a body for that matter
but he walks by nonetheless
and nods politely
or tips his hat
it's hard to tell the difference
your best friend is holding your hand
they are smiling
and they are happy
you cannot remember the last time you saw them so happy
and they nod to the man
because they have no hat to tip
Living on the Gulf coast in a popular tourist area has lots of good points, but there's also elements of it that I hate, or at least creep me out.
Or maybe it doesn't?
We have lots of tourists, seasonal residents, and the year rounders who have a love/hate relationship with the temporary residents. Even I feel that way about them!
I've never really described myself, and I think if I do what I'm going to delve into later on in this journal might make more sense?
I wrote last time in my journal about some of my interests, and this time I want to write about what it's like living on the Gulf coast and how my life has changed.
I'm the youngest kid in a large family of all boys (my oldest brother is in his 30's) and in 2011 my older brother moved out and went to college far from my state's capital city where we used to live. We lived in a huge house, six bedrooms and three baths in a rich neighborhood, but my parents decided to downsize since it would just be the three of us.
I busted out the viola today and gave it a long-delayed try after at least three years of not even touching it. I'm terrible at bowing now and I could barely remember where to put my fingers, especially while I was playing a song that had a ton of sharps (even though it literally contained only four notes in the one phrase that is repeated throughout the entire six-minute movement). I was playing the first movement of this piece, and quite poorly:
Wow. I'm tired.
Between working and school and everything else I do, I'm just doing shit all the fucking time. I haven't watched a speck of tv or video games in months, not even intentionally, but simply because I just don't have the fucking time.
Sometimes I wonder. In the adolescent emotional roller coaster, I'm usually riding along at a relatively laid back, but rolling, pace.
This is going to be a short journal, but I just have something I need to share here. I was talking with the certain person I usually write about, and he was going to meet up with his girlfriend (during a time we usually spend alone together) and he addressed her as "someone". It's like he wants to entirely avoid the subject of her. The only times he mentions her to me are when I pretty much give him no other option, and even then he mentions her briefly and quietly, and then either moves on to something else or just stops with it. What do you think this means?