What a wonderful article from the brother of Tyler Clementi! Please read:
This first journal is a huge step for us, the beginning of what we hope will be a long relationship, and maybe a opportunity to let the gay world know that anyone can be gay/bi/lesbian/trans, especially the rejects like us.
If I've confused anyone yet then you know how we feel.
I like to pretend that everything is just peachy, that growing two years older has just magically made life perfect. But it hasn't. I'm still me. I'm still just that kid with chronic depression. I'm in love with a guy who truly loves me for once, But I know for a fact that he is going to leave me one day because of his disorder. It's something that is definitely going to come true. And I can't stop it.
A friend at school said that he may have a hookup on free acid. So I will make it a goal to smoke some complimentary blotter from him some time soon.
By the way, we learned from a health pamphlet at school that if someone is having a bad trip on hallucinogens, the best action is to call 911. So there's a handy tip for you! Also, XTC is actually a codename for ecstasy. I would have thought they were two completely different drugs.
sowwy for the off-topic posts people
this is the only place that gets me though
I made it seem like I was gonna dramatically exit the site for weeks, but three days later here I am. Classes and clubs and whatnot don't start until Thursday, so for now other than the mandatory orientation meetings, I've found myself with an abundance of free time.
Oh, But my stomach hurts. Not sure Why, I didn't eat a lot. :/ But it's a good day. I finished a lot of my assignments on time and now I'm just sitting at home relaxing.
I'm wondering where Edwin is... probably at the station. Hmmmm, gosh I'm bored. I have to remember that this isn't Facebook.
OK, so I just ate chili and my stomach still hurts. My animals are weird. So are men. Just really strange, Especially in east Tennessee.
No one is texting me right now. I should read...
drugs are an ongoing car and i've been a stunned deer for months, staring into the headlights, waiting for impact, for the fears to be real, your deaths, your leavings, your ends,
i watch you
in the passenger seat
smiling at my crushed bones
the car falls off the road
your father('s god) claims your death
they'll take your body and force it
into the grave
which already has your name on it
i'll always be
in the middle
of the road
I've been here about a week now, and I love it so far. (Disregarding that one crappy party, haha.) Everyone on my floor is awesome. We do everything together. But they're kind of my only friends except for that one girl from the Facebook group, so I think I need to branch out a little since I'm with them 24/7. My classes are going decently so far too. I don't hate any of them that much yet. The only real complaints I have are that it's really, really hard to shave my legs in the dimly lit showers and sometimes I forget to eat unless someone invites me out.
And can I just say that the girls here are unbelievably attractive? I'm like a freakin' kid in a candy store! Sometimes when I'm walking to class, I'll try to count the hot girls, but I'll always lose count. There's even a hot girl on my floor. I didn't see much of her for a few days, but now she has started hanging out with the rest of us, so yay! I also once saw a hot girl wearing a pro-gay shirt, and I've noticed her around campus a few times since then. And also, I joined several clubs at the club fair thing, and I happened to see the name of this really hot bi girl from the Facebook group on one of the mailing lists, so there's a chance I could get to talk to her soon. Now that would be amazing.
But I write because I have encountered... a problem.
Some of you may or may not remember me from about three years ago. I recall that being around 2010. I was just a simple child who found this site and, in turn, was able to find light in such a dark time. High school was a terrible place. And being gay, black, and a sufferer of chronic depression didn't help.
I leave for college tomorrow. All summer I've been wishing for time's quicker passing and now that my wish has seemed to come true I'm a little nervous. But a good kind of nervous. Most of my things are packed and my dad is coming over later today to load my stuff in his truck since my trunk's latch is busted. So I'll be shoving a few giant Tupperware containers in my back seats and Dad'll take care of the rest.
No one appreciates the work I do.
Today after I got home from school, I got a message from Nico's girlfriend saying if she could ask me something, my first guess was about what had happened with Nico last year when she replied saying that she's making an interview about the LGBT community, she sent my some text saying some things about how hard is being homosexual in some countries and the support that we get from friends or the hate we get and more stuff, then she just asks me if I'm gay, my typical reply was a typical no and then she's says that she already knows and that it's ok, I was about to die and my nerves were killin
The boyfriend called me tonight saying he missed me. The words felt so foreign to me, I was taken a little by surprise. He wanted to chat to me this morning but I had so much to do I forgot to call him back. His words felt genuine - I actually felt a rush of happiness when he said it. He said it just before I was bout to go, and I said it back to me. He went skiing for the week. It's only been two days since we saw each other.
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Hi. Firstly, I would like to apologise, I realise that on here I'm one of those super annoying folk who only talk about their own problems, and never bother to listen to others. But hey, I'm not forcing you to read or comment... In fact, it's probably best if you stop now. I rarely make sense. But if you do then thanks very very much in advance. It's just the writing about things that helps me really. And I suck at giving advice.