anarchist's picture

The pimple of a pub's pet dragon.

Conversations with Gman always put me in an unmanageably good mood when I get home, and I don't know what to do when I'm this happy but also this bored.

Super Duck's picture

At this rate, a quarter-life crisis is imminent.

February started off all wrong. One day about three weeks ago, Cute Blonde Girl and I went to a coffee place off campus, and everything was fine until I left. She stayed behind to catch up on a little bit of homework, but on my way back, I just... I don't know, I totally lost it. Out of nowhere. I don't even know where it came from, or what it was, but I just had this ridiculous freakout. Sobbing uncontrollably on the street and everything. It wasn't her fault or anything, I didn't even talk to her (or much of anyone else except a call home for my sister's birthday) for several days afterwards. After the week was up, I started to ease back into my normal life, but now, even weeks later, everything is just so horribly wrong.

I'm 19--turning 20 this year, even--and I honestly feel far more awkward and uncomfortable with myself than I did at 15. (God, just typing "turning 20 this year" made my stomach lurch. At least I have until November.)

DarkestValley's picture

The conclusion of my realtionship and my last post on Jake.

Perhaps from the beginning it was destined to fail; He was a drug dealer and I was a church-goer.

However I believe for me or anyone to label him as a bad person as the cause of the failure of a relationship would indeed be a misconception as it simply it is untrue. Jake is an amazing person.

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture

my homeland

the homeland?
i know it well
the wastes take up most of it
and the fissures
split the lands
into canyons and cliffs

in my homeland once i pushed a man
into the fissures
i wanted his man and so
i decided to remove him
i learned to regret
i loved him
he was a friend
and he died by my hand

the homeland is not real
the homeland is not fantasy
the homeland is broken
the homeland is twisted

i cannot stay for long in my homeland
for even the pleasant moments
are soon perverted
and become dark

in my homeland i have seen children forced to dance
by a shadow

lonewolf678's picture

Valentine's Day: South Town.

I woke up that morning unusually active. I found myself finished with some studies earlier. The Weather Channel promised a very nice and bright day, yes, that day I put on my finest flower-print overshirt. I had decided I'd been studying quite a bit the past few weeks and with no plans for the day I chose to buy myself a gift.

anarchist's picture

Way Out West

Where are you?
My river explorer
The navigator of those deepest lonely waters
Take me with you
On our shining raft
For with hope and blind mirage
I see only you
In bent
Blue gray
Sketches

swimmerguy's picture

O Freunde, nicht diese Töne!

1. Shit. Today, while I was busy making pizzas at work, these girls came in. And if I was straight, I guess these are the girls such straight young guys as the hypothetical me is supposed to be massively attracted to. They didn't have much money, but wanted to order a pizza. After wrangling over whether they could afford a ranch cup (only 55 cents, but overpriced for that) I told them "I can give you 2 dollars off that pizza, there's a special going on, so special it's only for you."

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture

a tiny journal once more in poemish style with an actual poem why do i write these? god knows good night

scalp scalp
it's a nice night
the pall over my mind
is almost gone
i feel happy

I am with my love
one more night
and then one sleep
shall be without
his parents are here
he does not like that
he does not like
to have to be someone else
he does not like
to be a gender he is not

i love him
I want him to be happy
nothing feels better
than the warmth of his body
against my back as I write
His warmth feels special
different
unlike the other warmth
of other men
it has a feeling
a smell? maybe that's the word
i don't know
but it is unique
beautiful

a quiet mouth

anarchist's picture

Late Early

I am in a terrible mood for some reason. There was a tornado warning at school, so we stayed in the hall for about half an hour past the scheduled dismissal time, with no power. And I didn't know anyone there well enough to have an enjoyable conversation, so I was bored and lonely. The entire time, I was just wondering where You-Know-Who was. Then, I had to endure the torture of watching him walk by later while I had to stay in the bus, which apparently was worse than not seeing him at all.

DarkestValley's picture

Tattoo. I saw it.

So yeah we broke up like three weeks ago or whatever, and I stil hadnt seen his leg tattoo and I secretely didnt even want to see it, just in case I liked it and wanted to get back together with him but he sent me a pic of it RANDOMLY today and god it is AWFUL. it is supposed to be a dragon and it looks like a fox, I told him it looks horrendous and I hope he can fix it up somehow. Oh god it looks so bad. Why are people so STUPIDDDDD! people are seirously so stupid! Why do they do these stupid things to themselves!

Perhaps We Should Leave's picture

thing

time time time time
never enough time
never enough time

crazy
am I crazy?

what is it in my head
what is it in my head
why am I so crazy
what is it in my head
am i crazy
don't go crazy
I don't wanna be crazy

crazy crazy crazy
loud loud loud loud
so loud so loud
i hear it i hear it
it's so loud
it's not fair
it won't go away
so loud
shut up shut up shut up
loud loud loud loud loud

i don't wanna go crazy
why am I so broken
broken
I don't know how to heal
I'm so scared
I'm so broken

Dracofangxxx's picture

.

you replied to one text before i got home around 4:00, i had 20 tulips packed in a box on my bed and you were right, i cried when i saw them
(not for the reason you wanted)

you nearly broke up with me on valentine's day, i had to convince you that i was worth it
but i've seen the mistake etched in your words, i've seen the shift of your actions, and maybe, just
maybe,
i can trust you this time

we both know that you don't get this way because of true apathy, oh no- 4 years of being best friends and you loving me the entire time, it'd be foolish to explain away the apathy with that

anarchist's picture

Letting myself explore

I started getting annoyed at House of Leaves because Mark Z. Danielewski keeps making me abandon the story to flip through the entire book to something that I don't feel like reading. So I went to the bookstore looking for an interesting little poetry book titled The Container Store; to no surprise they didn't have it, but they did have The Silmarillion, which is much longer and will take a lot more time to finish. But that's nice because I like Tolkien. His works really appealed to me when I was younger and more open-minded, so they help me return to that mindset now.

Mogul's picture

School is a big bitch

School is seriously going to kill me, I'm full of work and I'm way too stupid to do it the day they assign it, plus midterms are really hard and I need to write an autobiography and I don't want to do it specially because I need to mention the events that changed me and I don't know if I should write about my depression, but I don't know who I would be right now if I didn't suffer from all the shit in my life and seriously fuck the guy who said that 11th grade is easy and you don't do anything.

Brady's picture

I Hate The Flu!

I've been sick the last two weeks, and got out of the hospital Friday after being there a few days with a flu/pneumonia combination that could have gotten really bad for me. The good news is I'm better, bad news is basketball season for me is over.

I shouldn't be too surprised by that really, especially after missing practice because I was too weak, but it's kind of like after all the dedication and practice it's just over for now. My school had a chance at playoffs with me on the team, and not to sound cocky, without me it would have been that much harder.

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