Hi this week I've decided to see what it's like with my free time intact. I've had time to cool off since my last entry and I don't quite know what my feelings are about being at this school or if the unhappiness I feel will foow me elsewhere. But in the mean time, I'm going to class and doing my thing as best I can.
Also, I uploaded a picture that I took a while ago. It's one of my favorites
All Dancing in a circle
Throwing their limbs
Tossing their hair
Must be a dream
No way they can be real
Or maybe it is I
Laying here in the middle
Haven't seen Clea DuVall pictures in almost 12 hours...
and already I have the symptoms of a QGA (queer girls anonymous) trying to get off an insanely hot supposed-lesbian's blindingly beautiful features.
What will happen next?
Quick, I need another dose!
I'm new. There's nothing much I can tell you except I'm bi. It's cool. I've mostly accepted myself. I wish my family can say the same. They don't really accept it. That's alright though. They'll come around eventually. I'm 18. I'm graduating this year. I don't really have plans for after that. I don't have a significant other though. I wish that I did sometimes. No one at my school really pays me any mind.
What gives *you* the fucking right?
Happy Tuesday. I'm cheerfully ignoring Boccaccio this hour, having made it through French class despite being unprepared. It turned out that we were talking about Rimbaud and Verlaine -- I can do gay at the drop of a hat!
It is me the one who tends to toy with others emotions. I live in a small town in GA and it sucks. My friends call me Felix because they say my personality is like a cat's. I will be you slave as long as you pleasure me. I am only out in the night looking for prey, a lover if you like. So who wants to have fun?
Late last night I was temped into getting drunk again and behold I drunk my vodka. The liqure began to ramm my brain with it's dizziness spell, my body relaxes, and drifts away to sleep, forgetting the previous worries. God the dream was so morbid. I drift around, in a blink light, I saw myself with a limp left arm (possiblity of wanking to much to porn till the muscles gave out). Damn pass me the muscle relaxer! I walk around with this other dude, possiblity a son, or a good friend that I never had. There was alot of doors that led me anywhere. I dont remember what but it was wicked.
What a weekend... well, Ilana and I aren't dating anymore. I can't stand the long distance, this is for good. There is no going back now. 6 months and some odd days... I'll never forget that time, and we are still going to be very good friends. ((Rachelle... you are going to hurt me...:)))
Let's see, how do I say this. First of all I can't identify as lesbian anymore... all because of Zach.
Ladies and Gentlemen, your advice please.... *drum role, please*... we have three choices.... three choices to help moi on my quest to rejoin the civilized world. Read on (n.b. free food:))
So for the first time in a long time today, I was really depressed. It's almost always been an issue, but today it was so much worse than usual. I guess it started when I woke up late today so I could finish up a paper for english. Which ended up being a 3.5 page paper (go me :)), but I missed my favorite period, ceramics. Well, I went to school and shit, got through the day (it wasnt so bad) but then I had to go to the bank after school to cash my pay-check.
How can I express my love to you?
I love you in a way few can even fathom.
I had the weirdest dream ever while napping! But that shall come later. I had an unusual day! First of all, it is the most Februaryish day that ever Februaryed in the long prominent history of Februarying. In other words, it looked like a cold London day, with a constant misty rain falling, and no light at all. It was slippery, and I almost died several times going to school. Then a friend was angry at me, but it was something that wasn't my fault, so no drama ensued, unfortunatly. I was also in the newspaper for some article my friend wrote, which was neat! But I hadn't read it until just now. It was really good!
First it was him
And then it was me
And now its you
It spread like a disease
and now it effects us all
We all were looking for a way out
Or maybe we were jealous of the attention he got
He was the weirdest of us all
His pain was noticed and we still blended in with the rest
Then we each had cuts to match
A cut for each ounce of self-hatred
A cut to numb
A cut to show the world what we experienced