Musing on bluntness: I find myself apologizing a lot lately for the things I say, which translates into apologizing for who I am. Why?
Status update: Not too much to report. Right before Christmas, I did a major revision to the book. The first fifty pages of the book no longer start the book, they may never appear in any form actually.
I know I won't get a damn bit of writing done until I write about the night I just had. Actually, I tend to never work on my novel on Fridays, so given the late hour, and that I need to get this story out of my system, I guess this will be another Friday without progress.
Tonight, I went to a Carol Channing book signing. Every few days, I pass by a bookstore in the Castro near my gym. When I unfortunately pay retail for my books, this is the one store I let charge me full face value on books. In their window recently is a picture of Carol Channing, and a notice that she will be signing her memoir, Just Lucky I Guess, tonight.
Last year my on-campus job was a student security receptionist. Because of the paperwork involved, and since I didn't change my name legally till this past summer, most people at work knew me as Bethany, my legal name at the time. I didn't bother coming out to any of them.
Pull back my hair and look like a diva in training
Sweat all dripping down my neck little strands flying this way and that
Take it down into a static afro
Hair reaching out for alien life forces
Pimples adorning my forehead like a fucked up tiara
Red waves against white chalk skin
Put on some makeup
Make myelf translucent maybe some yellow greenish skin
ewww i love the way u love me
... seems to have marked me as some sort of social pariah, a plague, an untouchable...
...You see 'pain begets joy' or 'joy through suffering'...
I am reminded of the New Yorker Cartoon that hangs on my door. A party. A man and woman in conversation. Caption: "I was reading somewhere that all people are stupid."...
Almost Being Concrete
almost being concrete, doing everything
forwardly guided, his irksome jabs
knead lamenting memories -nothing obesiant-
parrying quotas, re-living semblances
towards unending vying wafts....
xenophobia yields zenithal auguries blissfully construed
during every finalised gulp,hindering immovable jokes.
Keen-sighted, languid men nod openly....
procrastinating quintessentially, reality succumbs to
So, this is the new oasis huh? I don't know, I've been with oasis for such a long time I figure I might as well hang around for a little bit. I've survived two oasis droughts people! Although, I am kind of jaded, because some of my columns I wasn't able to save from the google cache. Woe is me.
I missed Oasis. I admit, for a time I was glad that it was gone because I thought that it was time to let go. See, I developed a sort of scorn for it. Well, not Oasis, but the fact that I wrote on it and what I wrote.
See, there was a guy I barely knew who said that he liked me. Like, really liked me. We talked about what our relationship would be like when we got back to school, and I sent him my journal (this was after Oasis went down, so I sent him my saved copy). Right after that, he told me that it would't work out between us. He started it and ended it in two weeks. It was so hot and cold that I couldn't think of anything to blame but my journal.
*sigh* Now Dragon must learn how to navigate all over again... Ah well, to clarify for those of you who don't know me very well, this is Cristina from the "old oasis" Let's see... it is Ilana and I's 1 month/ 6 month anniversary, 1 month since we started dating again, 6 months since our first date. Yee-Haw!
Three majorish updates in the life of everyones favorite Shiny object
(ber*yl 'berel n : light-colored silicate mineral; B-note: see emeralds, my favorite shiny thing) :
I was playing floor hockey in gym class and me and this kid and I went after the puck and he knocked out my front tooth, and chipped my other front tooth. The knocked out one is currently being held in by great deals of duck tape. But oasis is back, and soon to be better than ever, so life is good. I checked to see if it was up almost once a day the entire time it was down, and more than once a day over vacation.
Sometimes I get fed up with working in a department full of technophobes. My computer skills are about average, or maybe a wee bit higher, but to these folks I'm "the computer person".
Someone stole my user name!!! I go by "Dazed and Confused", which is what I went by on the old Oasis page as well. Now, there's also a "Dazed & Confused" member... arrgh... I don't like that. I'd really rather not change my name; I like it, and I've been using it for awhile...but I don't like it being so close to someone else's user name.
what to do, what do do...
let's see, i get home around 11pm and my sis tells me some idiot rammed her car and sped off........rotten luck