Anonymous's picture

It's a boy.... =|

This person that I kind of like is a boy. My friend was trying to guess who it is that I like, at lunch, and I said, "you know him." And immedeatly, she says "him??", A says "what??" and C says "WHOA that is NOT you!" So, that was a pretty funny reaction. =)

Last night was hell. A lot of crying. A lot of fighting. But by the time I went to bed, my mom and I were kind of getting along again. And today, we've gotten along really well. I played in gym again today with no anxiety, which really boosted my mood. A certain person wasn't in school today, which also boosted my mood because I didn't have her lecturing me on my own sexuality. AND my sister's kitten has gotten a bit better. He had a fever the past two days, and we weren't sure he was going to make it because he seemed really sick, he wasn't eating much or anything. But he's done almost nothing except sleep, which did him good, I think. And he ate and drank lots this morning. He seems a lot better now. He doesn't seem as thin. We could feel his bones pretty well last night and this morning, but after he drank a lot we couldn't feel them as much and he's just got the sniffles now. He's really stuffed up. His fever is gone. So, that's good.

Anonymous's picture

Insensitive

I fucking hate her. Maybe it's a sick thing to say about my own sister, but I don't care. I HATE HER. She's a bitch. I told her that her dog took a dump in the hallway and she says, in a very bitchy tone, may I add, "I know that. Meanwhile you're sitting on your ass playing computer games." So I reply, "I was against getting a dog in the first place, so do you think it might not be my responsibility?" So she has the fucking nerve to tell me that I have to help out anyways. No, I fucking don't. I didn't want a dog, I didn't want to clean up dog shit off the floor. She wanted the dog, so she gets to clean up the dog shit. What fucking right does she have to dump him on me and tell me to clean up after him? He's chewed up a TON of stuff that isn't replaceable. Stuff that was really important to me. Yet I have to pick it up, and I have to walk him, and I have to feed him, and I have to watch him every fucking second like a god damn baby to make sure he doesn't get into my shit. I DID NOT ASK FOR THE DOG. HE IS NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY. SHE NEEDS TO GET IT THROUGH HER FUCKING HEAD THAT THE DOG IS HERS AND THAT SHE NEEDS TO WIPE UP HIS PISS.

Anonymous's picture

Desperate

My sister's dog chewed up my little sister's American Girl doll the other day. And I saw my mother almost in tears a few hours later. My little sister had gone to bed, and my mom looked at me and said, "It's sad." I asked what, but I didn't need to. I already knew. My little sister is terrified of my father. Even when he lives in a different country. She came downstairs, her sobs screaming fear. She said, "Look what Charlie did to my doll! What if Dad sees it lying around the house? He'll kill me!" My father lives in England, and my little sister is deathly afraid of him screaming at her because the dog chewed up her doll. We got out of there before Dad started in on her, but the fear he made us feel has followed, and is torturing my little sister. He doesn't come back to the states more than once or twice a year, and here she is, scared of him finding out. Because of what he'll do. Because of what he did. Because of what he does. I hate him.

Anonymous's picture

I hope you're not alone

Her heart is broken,
this town's circuit is open,
and we're all left facing the unknown.

I didn't know you,
yet not a day goes by I don't think of you,
and I hope that up there, you're not alone.

Tags:
Anonymous's picture

Again, just once...

And if I could see your face
again, just once,
maybe I could pretend this town is normal again.

And if I could see your face
again, just once,
maybe I'd be able to tell you I appreciated you.

And if I could see your face
again, just once,
maybe I could get some closure.

And if she could see your face
again, just once,
maybe her heart wouldn't be so broken.

And if we could see your face

Anonymous's picture

MONSTER IN THE CLOSET

Monster In The Closet

Something good always comes from a bad experience. Isn't that what they say? I don't deny that I got anything good from making it through that time period most refer to as "childhood." But I'm not sure if I've gotten more good out of it than there was bad. Maybe it's still too soon to tell.

My childhood was stolen from me. I lived my youngest years in constant fear. I don't remember, but I'm guessing that going to school was an escape for me as a child. I'm sure that I was teased even at that age by the other children, but that was probably better than being bullied by my own father.

Anonymous's picture

Remembering you always

So, I still haven't really accepted the death of my classmate. I get these days when I just feel depressed over it. It hasn't completely sunk in. I feel depressed now.

And I feel like.. I don't know, like I shouldn't be very depressed about it because I wasn't friends with him. Should I? Is it normal? I didn't know him that well, but it still brings me to tears, even.

R.I.P. PMZ
Remem

Anonymous's picture

Eleven children kept in cages.

Well.

Today was... bad and good.

I'll get to that later. Right now I'm looking at the news on msnbc.com, and I just found this article. Two men killed a 15 year old girl when they found out she was born a male. What's worse? They were cleared of hate crime charges. How the hell does that work out? How the hell could they get cleared of hate crime charges?! Here is a link to the article if anyone wants to read it: http://msnbc.msn.com/id/9317235/

Anonymous's picture

And so I stay where I am and clench my fists...

I really despise my older sister. I'm being honest, and only saying what I feel. Yes, I would be devastated if anything happened to her because she is my sister and a part of my family, but I really do hold some feeling of hate for her as well. She disgusts me. She gives me the urge to slap her. Sometimes I can't even stand to hear her name because it puts me in such an unbearably pissy mood. Looking at her disgusts me, sometimes. I look at her and think she's ugly. Hideous. Yet I know that's not true. It's just my feelings towards her that make me see ugliness. I don't want to hear her voice because it makes my blood boil, and actually have to think about keeping my hands my sides. And it disgusts me that I could even think theses things about my own sister. But I do, and I have to accept that she's not my favorite person. I get so hateful towards her sometimes that I find my mouth straining to scream slut, whore, bitch, skank, and any other degrading words that pop into my mind. But what good is throwing profanity in her face going to do? It's not going to lessen the hatred I may be feeling at the time, it won't decrease my dislike for what I see. Really, I think it only serves to prolong my negativity. My question is - is it possible for me to stop these thoughts and feelings from taking over my body and mind for the rest of my life? If anyone has any suggestions, please, share them.

Anonymous's picture

...

Someone fucking spare me.

Anonymous's picture

Michelle, Caitlin, and things that piss me off.

What the hell. EVERYONE I know talks to Michelle. EVERYONE. But me? No! Why? Because I don't ever have a chance! And according to Chelsea, she went to Ithaca with her and two other people. And she also supposedly does drugs. Whatever. Not that it'd matter anyway if she did drugs as long as she didn't push it on me, but I don't trust Chelsea whatsoever. She lies about everything. Grrrrrrrrrr.

Anonymous's picture

Remember 9/11

I think the title speaks for itself.

Anonymous's picture

End it all.

I'm having a really depressing, very tearful breakdown right now, so bear (sp?) with me, because I need to vent and, yeah..

The principal never called back. I have gym tomorrow. I don't even know if we're supposed to change tomorrow. I don't have Charlotte's number so I can't call her and find out (I can't call now anyway because it's too late). I could talk to the nurse tomorrow, but if she gave me a note I'd have to make up the class anyways. She wouldn't let me lay down because I'd have to tell her that I had gym that period and she'd tell me that I really should go, because she knows about my anxiety and knows that I shouldn't even begin to miss this class again like I did last year. I could talk to the school psychologist, who is really nice, but what the hell would he do? Tell me to go and get through it, we'll figure something out soon. No, not going to work. So I can either get out of it somehow and have to make up the class, or I can go and get bitched out by the teacher in front of a shitload of other kids on the first day that we're supposed to change. Who doesn't change the first day that you have to? ...well, me. But grrrr. I don't know what to do!!!!!! I can't take this anymore.

Anonymous's picture

Michelle..again.

Michelle is so beautiful. We had a few minutes before the bell rang in US/Gov. today so I went by the door and ended up pretty close to Michelle and the girl from Thailand. Michelle said Hi to me. And I saw how beautiful she is, once again. It's not that crush anymore where every time you see that person your stomach goes crazy with knots. It's just this "Oh my God, she's beautiful." and I wish I could just talk to her. I reeeeeally need to work up the nerve and try to start a conversation with her. US is the only class I have with her, so I guess I'll have to work on being brave enough to say more than Hi to her before the bell rings. Ahhh!!! Yeah, she's straight, but I still want to talk to her. =|

Anonymous's picture

Surgery

My mom is home from surgery - YAY!!!! I was really stressed this morning - I told her I loved her about 50 times before I finally left for school. She told me to think happy thoughts towards her at 12:45 so then she'd know that I was doing that, and she'd feel better =) So I tried. I'm not sure what I'm expecting to see when she comes through the door. Her leg will be all done up, she'll be on crutches, and maybe a little out of it from meds. She got a local anesthetic, so she probably watched the surgery - she wanted to. Ew, lol. So she will be sleeping on the futon for the next 4 to 6 weeks. There's no escape from my hugs now! Muahahaha!

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