You know I'm pretty good at concealing my awkwardness but dammit if this girl isn't trying to make me the most awkward person ever. Haha. We were working on another group project today. So, she's on the other side of the table near all the crafty stuff and I'm being all awkward and I don't really know what role in the group I should be taking and she looks at me and she's like "come on" and she smiles and motions for me to come over and help make our prototype. And so I melt :)
Today I met a really cute girl. I'm in this program for now and I was one of the first few there in class and we're all waiting for the others when this really cute girl walks in *Swoons*. Oh, boy. And it's weird because I had this like immediate attraction to her. I'm not really sure why and I can't explain it, it was just wow! She just caught my eye. =) Then we broke up into groups and I actually got to know her a bit and she spoke and she has an accent! OMG, just......She's so cute and she seems sweet. Oh, and I like her hands. That sounded weird didn't it?
I've been planning to go to this program at the local college for awhile now and I'm supposed to start on Monday. BUT my dad just told me that we're moving back to where we used to live. Like he just sprung it on me. So, this just sucks. I mean I could stay and get a place. There's ways to get my rent paid. But I don't really want to do that. I want to stay with my family. I think I'm a bit afraid to live alone right now, especially since I don't know anyone in this city and have no real connections or friends. So, I'd prefer not to be just left here by myself.
And now I'm gonna lose ALL of my music because my computer that's giving me trouble won't charge it. Is there anyway to charge your iPod on a different computer or something else so that you don't lose all of your music? Cause I know that on my other computer (The one with all the music) my iPod always Auto synced is there anyway to turn that off without having to connect the iPod to the computer and having it's memory swiped?
My computer not working is causing a lot of problems in my life right now. Sigh....
You know what I just thought of? My sister is coming over this weekend because she's gonna be in town so if she finds out the computer is bummed out there's a good chance she's gonna want to take it home and try to fix it or get someone she knows to fix it. And I've got crap on my computer I don't really want anyone to see. Like all those Spashley video clips (because I was making a music video). And it's easily accesible because they're in a folder on my desktop. I don't really care if I'm outed and they find out I'm gay BUT I really don't want them to find out that way.
So my computer started having those problems earlier this week where all of a sudden nothing would show up on the monitor except for "VGA input : No Signal" and then the monitor goes to sleep. Before all I'd have to do is restart the computer to get a picture on the monitor. But today when I restarted my computer after this happened still nothing appeared on the monitor. I don't think that the computer is fully booting because it doesn't make as much noise when it's booted up. Also the lights on the keyboard and mouse don't light up.
Someone care to explain how I got in trouble today by my dad because the college didn't e-mail me back about how I'm supposed to get a bus pass that THEY are supposed to supply? Like wtf?
So now I'm getting in trouble cause I'm starting the program on Monday and he'll have to pay for me to get there. I get that we're very strained on money right now because my parents are out of work but seriously how is this my fault? I e-mailed the teacher of my program weeks ago and she never e-mailed me back, I call and she isn't in her office. So how is this MY fault? It's just stupid.
If anyone can help answer this I would be forever thankful =)
When I'm not using my computer I turn off the monitor. Recently though, sometimes when I turn the monitor back on it says "No input" and it then gos to sleep, but the computer itself is still running. I then have to restart the computer by holding the button on the tower. Does anyone know what's going on here? And how I can help this?
It only started doing this over the past couple months or so (I think) and it seems to be happening more often recently.
I just spent the past couple hours reading about Brandon Teena and the movie that was based on his life and death. That was stunted by the article jeff posted in the forums about another teen that was murdered because she was transgendered.
The Sharks won tonight. One game down 3 to go. Vancouver won and swept The St. Louis Blues. I got a bunch of new CDs. I feel at peace.
It's been a very good day :)
I can find something to relate to in pretty much every single Staind song.
Sometimes when you're out of rope
The way to climb back up's unclear
The walls you build around yourself
I guess they also keep you here
Are you afraid of what they think?
Whoever "they" happen to be
Or are you hiding from the scars of your own reality?
I Love them =)
I had fun in my workshop today =]
I basically listened to some people in my class tell stories and give opinions all day. Ha. Then we split into groups and we brainstormed ways that you could get fired. Double ha!
Today I was asked what I'm afraid of and why does it frighten me? . In this particular situation I took it to mean something deeper than Spiders, heights, and the like. So I said I was afraid of failing and disappointing people. Although the minute I said it I was disagreeing with it. Because I'm not really afraid of those things, it sorta came out wrong. But anyways, I had to share first with my workshop class and I felt like a fool because basically everyone else said those basic fears "Heights and that". Do you guys think that was a stupid fear to say? What would you have said?
Where my Grandmother told me and I quote: "Your mother told me that if you were a lesbian that she would be okay with it" BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! It was hilarious. I can't even comprehend what my real-life reaction would be if my little itty bitty 80 year old grandmother used the word "Lesbian".
NO idea why. Okay, actually it's probably because I was talking on a board about who'd you rather kiss. Ha!
I was gonna post a poem-ish thing that came to mind but it sucked so I won't :P
Just these lyrics:
By now you'd know that I'd come for you
No one but you, yes I'd come for you
But only if you told me to
And I'd fight for you
I'd lie, it's true
Give my life for you
You know I'd always come for you
I need to feel that at some point :)
I just told my mom about that absurd anti-gay video. I think she HAS to be getting the picture that I'm gay by now. I told her how I thought it was so stupid and ridiculous but I was really bad with my words for some reason. Like I wanted to say so much and let my passion out but it came out all uneven and jumbled. lol. Oh, well. At least I told her that gay people should be aloud to get married and that I think that these anti-gay people are idiots. That's something right? Oh, and I asked her if she cared if gay people married and she said no! Ha, that was kinda nice to hear.