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Leave it to Beaver

I need SHORTS! The heat is getting insane. Seriously, where in the world do people go for normal knee-length shorts these days? Because I can't seem to find any! I went to Stitches and all they seemed to have were BOOTY shorts, and I'm not wearing any booty shorts. Oh, and while I was in there there was this one girl and she was practically wearing underwear. It's was like, ummm...Lady, if those were any shorter I could see your, *ahem*, beaver! lol.

OOooh, and I got Whip it! at the library today. I'm a happy girl.

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May two-four

I'm playing RockBand for the day off. I'm playing the guitar and vocals. Yep, and you know, I've really grown to like Journey's "Anyway You Want It" I used to really dislike it, but it's about a girl...and, so yeah, I enjoy singing it now :P

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Cute girls and life

This Photo :)

I saw a really pretty girl on the bus today, she kinda made my afternoon XD This guy was making a big deal over the fact that he thought the bus driver almost hit him and then this girl walked in and omgosh she was cuteee! And she was kinda joking around that she was sorry if the guy holds us all up. At least I think that's what she said. I was kinda distracted by the commotion the jackass was making and stuff...

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I don't want to be alone anymore

This: I want.

You know, I'm usually at peace with the whole "I'm alone and single but that's okay cause eventually I'll find someone" thing. But right now, I just feel really sick of it. I cried a total of 3 times today. Once on a bus. Okay, that wasn't a total cry cause I stopped myself so I wouldn't look like a psycho on the bus. I cried about my brother twice and then I cried once about how I miss my relationship with my nephew and how it's oh so completely changed.

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Caught ya!

Anybody ever tried Omegle? It matches you with a stranger to chat online. It's kinda weird but anyways. I was on it today for the first time and I started talking to this person who said she was a girl and 15. So, we're talking and I know fully well that people online lie and stuff and that this very well could be some creepy 52 year old man but I go along cause I'm bored. So, at the end she gives me her email in case I want to add her and talk to her some other day.

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"The youth group is on hiatus"

I finally emailed the group last night and that's the response I got. The nice woman also sent me a couple links to other groups in the mean time. One is a one time Trans thing (Q people welcomed, though) and another LGBT group that I'm too old to go to. :/

She wants some info about what I'm looking for so she can help me find an alternative to their group. What do I say? That I'm some uber lame queer kid that just wanted to meet some other presumably lame queer kid and possibly make friends? I'm kidding. The other kids probably wouldn't have been lame.

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My dream trying to tell me something?

Last night I had a dream that me and my mom we're taking our two dogs for a walk and I thought I saw a small dog in a patch of tall grass. So, I went to check it out and it turned out to be a raccoon, so I ran back and told my mom and we walked home. When we got home and went in the basement we found that the raccoon was actually living in our basement. Then I can't remember much until the end where I was trying to kill it with my bare hands by strangling it. Apparently the raccoon was threatening in some way. idk.

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Made up convo between Spashley and Naomily XD

Naomi: So, you two are gay, are you? I mean, together?

Spencer: (smiling) Yeah.

Emily: (frowns a little and glances at Naomi) You're girlfriends?

Ashley: (annoyed) She just said so, didn't she?

Naomi: No offense or anything, but I've seen more action from her (nods at Emily, who smiles) in one episode than you two got in all three of your series. I mean, I think hair brushing is fine and all--

Spencer: (a little indignant) We kissed!

Emily: You mostly hugged. Hugging's nice, it is, but--

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I need a lie...

so I can go to the LGBT youth group next week. I could tell my parents where I'm going, but I don't want to. Seriously, it's ridiculous at my age, but I just don't want to have that conversation, you know? Especially when I don't know where I stand. So, now I just need an explanation for where I'm going that night because I basically never go anywhere alone these days, so they are definitely going to ask.

Pathetic? Yes, but this is why I want to go so bad!

I think I'm going to go off and watch Kissing Jessica Stein now, since I can't pick a 360 game to play...

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What I'd like to happen if I open a few doors

I want to:

Make some new FRIENDS. Ones that I can trust.

DATE. I have yet to date or kiss a girl. That might be nice.

To Fall in LOVE. Oh, how I'd like to happen. Not sure anyone could stand to be with me for an extended period of time, but it would be nice to feel those feelings. :P

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Gay youth group

I really want to go. And you know what? I think my brother's passing has convinced me to honestly try to go to one of their meetings. It's sad that it took this to get me to seriously think about it. Did I mention that my brother was gay?

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I watched The Notebook the other day.

I. Don't. Get. It.

The hype, I mean. I really didn't think it was that great of a movie and the romance wasn't really there. I don't know. Maybe I'm weird...

Then a couple of days ago I saw a commercial that had the Celine Dion song from Titanic and so now I want to watch that. lol. I haven't watched Titanic in a few years. I remember the ending used to make me cry :/ One of the very few films able to do that. Not sure that it would make me cry now...but I'm curious.

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My night

It's almost five in the morning. I'm the only one still awake. I think the cooler is affecting me now. I had my first one tonight after my sister insisted that I have one. I didn't drink it all, though, because I didn't like taste much it was a grapefruit flavoured VODKA. I preferred the bit of the Pink lemonade one that I had.

The only other alcohol I've ever had is champaign, which is disgusting, and maybe a bit of beer once. I'm not a big drink person. I basically only drink water. Once in a while, especially in the summer, I'll have some pop. But mostly it's water.

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How do you deal with creepy/unwanted people?

I wish that I had never added this girl on Facebook. Or, I mean, let her know I have Facebook. This girl from school. I don't trust her, and I knew it was a bad idea, but I gave her my email a month ago. She does drugs(Marijuana, at least) and said used to be a dealer; apparently that's how she met her boyfriend. But I said "Yes" when she asked me if I had FB, because it was just my reaction.

Now, it's like she's mad at me because I haven't been at school and I passed when she invited me to her house the other week. This was after she found out my brother had passed.

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Good weekend

Last weekend my sister brought her two kids over. On Saturday night we watched Paranormal Activity. It was okay. Not really worth the hype and thankfully I was already ready to be dissapointed. At least a couple parts were kinda creepy and good. Still, I prefer The Blair Witch Project.

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