Ohhi there Oasis. I kind of got eaten by school/volunteer work/the internet, but I've been absolutely horrid at journaling anywhere and I should really at least make an efort to get back into it.
So. What have I been up to? Went to Vegas for new years with a few really awesome people-- for real, it was geeky sci-fi quoting and queer theory and feminism and bad sex puns all the way and it was super great, even if the Vegas strip itself is pretty disgusting.
It is too hot for everything. And there're rolling blackouts because the power grid can't handle, idk, the influx of fans and air conditioners?
Last week I got a tumblr. i've no idea what I'm doing with it, but it is there and it exists.
I also got a hair cut. Hair's now at my chin. So far I've gotten 'You look just like your mum!' and 'You look like Captain Janeway!'. Which are not exactly what i was going for but whatever I like it.
Sometimes it just hits me, out of the blue. "your dad is dead." I am one of those people who lost a parent before they were twenty-one. And it sort of takes my breath away with the unexpected reality of it. When I think about how it only took a year and a half, from diagnosis to my flatmate hunting me down on campus in the midst of my creative writing class with the news. It took me a month before I cried, and even that was half an hour late one night.
It went so well, I can't even. there were upwards of sixty people there, all enthusiastic and eager and and and there is something really overwhelmingly good about standing in a room listening to people networking and connecting and actually *talking* about these issues, about that coming together of community, hearing people say they want more things like this, like they've felt isolated outside of the big cities, that they're coming away with new ideas and ways of thinking, and knowing that you were the one who made it happen.
Ok. Conference is tomorrow. Ahahahahaha oh Christ. I'm still doing last minute pannelist rangling, this is ridiculous.
I'm also getting sick for the second time in the last month, which is pretty painful and really inconvenient. that being said, I've been taking 400 mg of Vitamin B2 everyday for the last two weeks and I haven't had a single mygrane, which is actually amazing.
All four term papers are officially handed in. Compared to these last two weeks final exams will be a goddamn breeze. And now I need to go sleep for hours and hours because three or four hours snatched here and there and far too rarely is not actually a valid longterm life choice.
The motherfucking conference is live.
April 28'th. There is no turning back now.
Goals for the week
Find other ways to deal with constant mygrane/watering eyes/nausia/exhaustion because the doctor can't see you for a month and you can not keep doing this
Act more happy so people stop asking awkward questions.
Update your profile and put up a pic on okcupid; wish really hard
Write a 3000 word essay about england before tomorrow night
I slept through class last night. Goddamnit. Admittedly, we had a guest speaker who I've seen twice before, but it's still not going to do anything good for my participation grade, and it's a 400 level class in my minor with a prof I like.
So the other day I read some theory by fucking Deleuze that breezed right past Foucault and made all kinds of sense. My worldview was fucked up. No more panopticon? Shit's getting real, you guys.
Protip: Planning a provincial conference basically on your own is really stressful when you don't know yet how much funding you're getting and the guy who was supposed to get back to you about space over a week ago... hasn't. *twitches like a twitching thing*. Finding pannelists has also turned into a bit of a video game and makes me feel like a horrible person.
So my rant of the week! Why is everything pretty so low cut? I'm trying to pick out my outfit for Queer Winter Formal this weekend.
Looking back on my second-year Queer Writing course, I really really want to smack my past self upside the head for so easily dismissing the issues and frustrations brought up by the openly genderqueer person in that class. it was super-hipocritical of me to hang around outside of class with my then-flatmate and our professor and bitch about them (especially considering that I'd been privately identifying as androgynous for four years at that point).
Actually recapping the last almost month seems far too exhausting. I'm back in Canada, my hair's shoulder length and now I kind of want it a little shorter, Christmas was lovely, New Years was also pretty great, I have classes five days a week this coming semester and I'm not okay with this. The end.
Alright, so lately I've been considering chopping my hair off. I've had long hair for as long as I can remember, and, I don't know, you only live once, right? Really it's a combination of gender stuff, a few people constantly encouraging me to get it cut, and also I am leaving England in two weeks and possibly not handling that well at all.
Ohhi guys guess who can't maintain proper sleeping paterns to save her life? Aww yeah.