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bloody your hands on a cactus tree

There are people sleeping in my basement. I had two cups of coffee and chocolate cake at the restaurant, and have mild insomnia, so I am not.

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...

I am employing the 24 hour rule. ...with great difficulty. I'm litterally shaking as I type this. And...I don't even know what I'm supposed to be feeling here. I've cried until my head ached. I've been furious. I think, now, I'm just confused and scared. I don't want to throw away an eight year friendship over something that I don't even understand.

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I don't have any words anymore

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. I think K kind of hates me. At least according to a close mutual friend. It all has to do with emails that have been exchanged between her and C, all of which I've seen or , in C's case, helped write. It's to the point where K apparently isn't coming to my birthday party because she is so mad at me. A close friend who I've known for ...eight years.

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scattered randomly

Things overheard at youth group Saturday night while discussing stareotypes:

(on being queer being a mental illness) "So...I can't come into work today, I'm gay." ...next day... "Nope, still gay."

"Being straight comes naturally! ...if you're straight."

"If being queer is a choice, why are there so many straight people in the world?"

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oh my God shut up

So I was up until 02:00 this morning doing homework. And made a friend stressed about the assignment that I was told was due, but really wasn't. And... fucking Darfur Banquit. I don't even have words. See, the girl in charge has been a close friend for years. We're calling her K. And she wants to have it in a tent on school grounds.

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up and down like the waves on the ocean

"
It's eight AM and she hasn't changed her clothes
It's eight AM and she hasn't changed her wife
There's something wrong with this picture
Someone hung it a little too crooked.

The ptarmagans are poking their heads out of the sand."

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feeling amused

So earlier today I had one of my moments where my brain is basically like 'fuck it all'. So I marked my sexual preference on Nexus (it could be worse, I could be on Myspace) to bisexual/open minded. So now pretty much anyone can find out. In a way, I feel as if this is the final step in coming out.

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uh

Assuming that the weight of a Twinkie is aproximately 5 g, the force with which it would hit the ground after being dropped from the Empire State Building would be about 0.4662 N.
Well, now what am I going to do? My plans of spending my days atop the ESB causing people to die by Twinkie have been foiled.

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MUN ate my soul

Well, the first evening (Thursday) was ok, as it was mostly the opening cerimonies and my friends and I paid absolutely no attention the entire time. Friday was fun as I actually had things to say on the issue presented which was Climate Change. I sponsered a resolution along with Ethiopia and Guyana (I was Morocco).

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things that make me happy

 Chocolate
Rain
Talking to the girl from my physics class or the boy at Starbucks
When my friends are happy
Doing nice things for people and being appreciated for it
Raspberries
Watching Lost or NCIS
When single people don't complain about Valentines Day
Getting reviews on stories

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you wish you were this cool

*hem*
...You know you want to send me a valentine.
http://wishroll.com/valentinr/thought

I honestly am this good at procrastinating on my homework. I swear to God.

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If I could take twenty-five minutes out of the record books

I have just recently discovered that I don't give a fuck if random people in my school know I'm bi. I mean, people like the ones in my physics and math classes last semester, the regular people that I've never met before in my life. I mean, my crush was in my physics class and I certainly came out to her, and I wouldn't have denied it if asked by those people.

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simplification

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because apparently my characters understand better than I do

See, because I didn't see her after the physics exam and oh my God, I'm probably never going to see her again. And therefore I decided to work on the novel. And while rereading parts of it, I stumbled across a perfect example of why I so don't need a girlfriend. Because my characters apparently understand this better than I do.

***exerpt***

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update in which no progress is made

Crush was back in class on Tuesday. Didn't talk to me. Same goes for Wednesday. My levels of apathy astound even me. In early November, she gave me a bag of candy. I didn't eat a single one after December third, when I gave her the note. I just had one, five minutes ago. This has some sort of significance in the greater scheme of things. I swear to $deity. I'm just...not sure what, yet.

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