OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!! Im so excited and im soo happy but yet for some reason im scared and nervous... I just don't know why. I geuss i should start off with the begining of the story.
I had promised myself today was THE DAY! The day i was going to come out to my mom.
It was 8:45 ish (it's now 9:12) I'm like i gotta do it now or i'm just gunna chicken out.
So i forgot to put this in my other journal and i think it's special enough to write in it's own journal. I really hope to/plan to end the silence in my life on the Day of Silence..
I'm gunna come out to my mom....
I'm just gunna ask her if i can go to camp with my friend and then mention it's a gay camp cuz i'm a LEZ!
So I'm up in Toronto visiting my sis and supporting her in her endevers(sp.) to become the next CANADIAN IDOL! But the two of them (my mom and sis) surprised me and we are taking my sis home this week and then she has to come back up again (next week) because she has an exam. And then she's down for summer.
I'm SOO SOO SOO excited!
So in like 2 hours my dad is picking me up and we are going state side (that's what people here where i live in Canada refer to going to Detroit/michigan as). I literally haven't spent more then 5 minutes with him in the past month :( Which really sucks. I hate him but he's still my dad and i still wanna see him. We are going shopping and then to the Pistons game at the Palace.
So i went to my local chapters.... as if i didn't have enough books to read already and didn't have 4 on the go at the moment. But geuss what?????
Well since you can't really geuss i'll just tell you....
Oh so like a couple months ago i dropped my resume off at subway. And now they are hiring again so i walked down and dropped it off. I asked for the manager and then gave her my resume. I was soo nervous the i forgot to make sure that it was in order ( because it's 2 sheets). I had the last one first and i didn't notie until it was in her (the manager's) hand.
OMG so my friend.. one of the only 2 males i trust just told me that he came out to his mom last night!!!!!!!! He's gay and his mom wouldn't let him go over to his bf's house then he told her. She doesn't think he's old enough to decide. But I'm soo proud of him.. Tooo bad i'm not out to my mom yet but still i'm soo happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got my review book in the mail!!! YAY! It made my day. I had had a pretty good day but then my dad was suppose to pick me up from school. He was 15 minutes late and then he was on the phone for 3 minutes of the ride and only talked to me for 2 minutes. After 4 weeks 5 minutes just wasn't good enough.
It's not that i mind seeing my grandma. I actually love seeing her. I enjoy the grandma-grandaughter time we spend together... but I miss seeing him.
Um so this girl i kinda know who goes to my school asked me to do judo with her because there are no other ten girl tanks or teen girls at all willing to do it... so i said i would. I'm scared shitless! Like new things freak me out. And she was talking about how the guys make fun of her for being a tank and i'm like (in my head) Oh shit! cuz i'm like 2 times her size! AHHH!!!
I remember the day i figured out i was at least bi.
I remember the day i finally vocalized i was a lesbian.
I remember the day i found out my grandpa had a heart attack.
I remember the moment i found out my grandpa had 24hrs or less to live.
I remember the moment i found out my grandpa was dead.
I remember the moment my sis told us she got into uni.
I remember baby bop cookies.
so i need some serious adivce. My friend who's one of my best friends has all these defences up. She didn't used to until she broke up with ehr ex. then all these walls go up. She says that if she enver talked to anyone again she'd be happy. She jsut doesn't trust anyone like it's been more then 4 months since she broke up with her gf.
So the last few days have been pretty good. Yesterday (sunday) my mom, dog, and i went to my Grandpa's grave site (my dad's dad). I hadnt seen the head stone yet so i really wanted to see it. But man they must hae bought the space a LONG LONG LONG time ago because everyone else around my grandpa and where my grandma will be burried were burried in the 60's and 70's... It's INSANE!!!