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Writer's block

So here I am doing my work at the very last minute as always. I'm typing what's supposed to be a 7 page research paper on FDR tonight and so far I've got 2.5 pages done and a shitload more to go. Next week is my class's senior trip up to New York. In a way it'll be a nice break but at the same time that means one entire week of uninterrupted super-Christ time that's sure to make me kill myself. Other than the usual work/school related stress things are going alright I guess.

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Not looking forward to tomorrow.

I just got back from a week long vacation in Nashville, TN,
far, far away from all the shit of everyday life. So tomorrow is gonna suck seeing as I have to return to my shithole of a school and I have to work late. Way too many other things going on to write about right now, I should be sleeping, but instead I'm doing laundry (woohoo).

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Out at work

I am officially completely 100% out to everyone at my job!

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Kissing, college applications, and banned hugging.

On Friday I kissed a guy for the first time. It was amazing, it wasn't fireworks or electricity or anything I had expected. It felt perfect, organic, as if it was the only thing mouths were ever meant to do.

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What just happend?!

I don' really know how this just happened, but I'm pretty sure I have a boyfriend...
A coworker of mine who i recently found out is gay just asked me out via the internet and after much indecision i went for it. Seeing as I have absolutely nothing going on as far as my love life is concerned I figure it really can't hurt to at least try it.

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Coming out to friends is the greatest high.

So today I finally came out to my friend Chelsea. She moved away about a year and a half ago,but we've kept in touch. Even though we're really good friends there was always this tension because she liked me and I knew, but was too much of a coward to ever address the issue.

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Procrastination...

I only have a week before school so i really should be reading "pride and prejudice" right now. I have to read it over the summer for my English class and I've read 10 chapters out of 61. i can finish it by the 18th if i really really crack down and just do it, but obviously i haven't done that yet.

completely hypothetical : You are deeply in love and just before you have sex they tell you they have HIV/AIDS, what do you do?

Sadly tell them that you can only be friends.
36% (5 votes)
Do it anyway and be extra extra careful.
64% (9 votes)
Total votes: 14
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One fleeting eternal moment.

Your shoulder brushes mine as we're walking down the hall... I am in ecstasy.
My mind flies off to some dreamt of world where we embrace.
For one fleeting eternal moment i surrender and fall into your arms, begging to never be free.
If only I could capture this instant, the tenderness in your eyes, the rapture on my face.

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dreams, my summer so far, school woes, etc...

Almost all my dreams for the past week maybe 2 have involved this guy in my class. I never really had a crush on him or anything but i can't stop dreaming about him. these aren't even sex dreams. Most of them are more centered around love and intimacy than the actual act of sex itself. Anyway now that I can't stop dreaming about him I am beginning to develop feelings for him, which is ridiculous.

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General bitching

My very best friend called me today in tears and rushed over to my house. her fiance had been cheating on her and had told her it was over. So I spent the better part of the last 4 hours comforting her and helping burn his love letters. On a completely different note, I just got a job at borders making coffee!

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Ahhhhhh! (scream of victory)

I am soooo freaking happy to be out of the closet. i can finally be myself around my family and even my friends regardless of the fact that being gay can get me kicked out of school. Honestly i just don't give a fuck. Essentially my sexuality is the secret that everyone there knows about, they all knew way before i ever told anyone. As long as the faculty doesn't find out I should be fine.

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update

Hi, i haven't posted here in forever. mostly because i forgot my username. i came out to my mom and my brother about a month ago. she took it way better than i thought she would. actually she's bi. i still haven't told my dad and his wife but they sort of already know and it doesn't seem to be an issue. i still go to my ultra conservative school and plan to stick it out one more year.

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stress, depression, and insomnia

hi, it's 1:30 A.M here in tennesee and i'm still up.
i've been staying here with my dad and his wife for the past two weeks, sadly i'm flying out to where i live in virginia in three hours.

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