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I'm in the middle of watching a movie, but a sudden idea occurred to me that popped into my dark and noiseless mind urging me to write it down. Or type it.
It feels to me like everyone around me has someone. Everyon has another being in which to share their actions and emotions and happiness with. I don't mean a lover. Maybe I do, but mainly I guess I mean a simple friend.

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teenage angst's a bitch.
i HATE it.
im bored. i have a lot of caffeine flowing through my veins at the moment. my mind is rather calm, despite that. i think perhaps im a bit anxious. i feel pretty bitter.
craig ferguson makes me so happy though haha, he's hilarious :D

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just take me there.

We have a long way to go.
It's a bit difficult for me to lay in bed at night. I've never had a lover before, so it's not like I know how it feels. But I can imagine. And for ten months I've imagined it enough. And I wish she could be laying next to me and I could hold her and look at her. I've wished it so much. I never knew I could have so much passion or feeling invested in one individual thing, or person. It's amazing. And at the same time it's terrifying. I guess I'm still trying to work out how I'm supposed to react.

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i wish i was special

you're so fuckin special.

Dear mr. razorblade,
How I've missed you so. I know you've missed me as well. Our departure was an emotional one I can tell because when you touch me I cry red tears. I think our meeting will be longer this time. I'm sorry we had to leave each other.

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she loves me back. o_o

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first day of my life

"This is the first day of my life
I swear I was born right in the doorway
I went out in the rain suddenly everything changed
They're spreading blankets on the beach

Yours is the first face that I saw
I think I was blind before I met you
Now I don’t know where I am
I don’t know where I’ve been
But I know where I want to go

And so I thought I’d let you know
That these things take forever
I especially am slow
But I realize that I need you
And I wondered if I could come home

Remember the time you drove all night
Just to meet me in the morning

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now im free

from what you want.

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i totally just spazzed out. but now im ok. holy shit that was so scary to me hahaha

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im getting frantic and i feel depressed. i haven't really been depressed for a while but i think tonight it will be bad. it only happened in the past few hours. its getting worse. its been awhile i guess im due. this sucks haha

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I don't think myspace is a reliable source to meet friends or try to know someone. My friends have told me they hardly know anything about me, some have them have known me a while. I don't know if anyone really knows me, how far does the extent of 'know' even go? When people ask me about myself I tell them my interests. That's how I've seen myself. On myspace I don't have a couple of bullets saying what I love to do. I've only said, I have a sense of humor, do you? Afterall, I think that's the most important part anyone should ever know about me. I can't be defined by interests.

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i really miss, what really did exist

sometimes the blood from real cuts, feels real nice when it's really mine.
-for real

Every time I walk I forget how good it is for me. It's so cleansing. It feels as if everything in my mind just blows away and I feel content enough to be ok with everything. It's really nice.
Spring break is awesome.
I'm feeling pretty great. The last couple of days before break I was feeling a little distracted, out of it, and was in a daze. I thought for sure I'd start feeling depressed. But I didn't.

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i dont belong here

Rollercoasters are so fun. I wish I could ride one right now. Emotional rollar coasters are NOT fun. I wish I wasn't riding this one. Sugar crashes cause depression--If only for a short time.

Oh, my dear, when will we finally begin? When will we start? if ever we have a beginning...
Hey! Best friend! Where art thou? Have you grown bored of me??

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not about to see your light.

Children are the essence of purity, and the essence of innocence. They are unafflicted by the corruption of society, and the bias that the media forces upon us, on everyone. They are unjudgmental. Kids make friends with anyone without judgment. They don't care if you're rich or poor, what you look like, what clothes you wear, or what you're interested in. They just want to have fun. I wish that everyone else were as content and noncaring as them. When you reach junior high and high school, there are certain people you don't hang out with.

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i want domination

i want your submission.

To you-
I'm sorry I'm such a loser. I'm sorry I can't make it real. I'm sorry for everything I'm not, everything I am. I hate it. I'm sorry I can't be better.

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i dont care if it hurts

i want to have control.
i want a perfect body, i want a perfect soul.

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