When I call out Your Name Do you Hear's picture

Sleight of hand, twist of fate. On a bed of nails she makes me wait.

I went to the dentist today...had to get my cavity filled....last time I have to go til next year or whatever. No numbing for me....they didn't think it was needed, and it really wasn't. It didn't hurt. The drill noise was annoying and the smell was nasty.

When I call out Your Name Do you Hear's picture

A thousand lies have made me colder

So....now is the time I wish Kitty was on for me to talk to...

When I call out Your Name Do you Hear's picture

Really good Coping Break-up tips! :]

Tip 1: Accept the end- once the break up happens, you need to put it behind you and cope with the negative feelings that well inside you. The most important thing is to accept it. Do not cling onto the hope that a miracle would happen and things would go back to normal. Do not hope that the break-up would be reversed by some magic and you would be back together as if nothing happened. This would make things unbearable for you. Rather, you should accept it. Accept that your relationship is over. Accept that the other person would not be there for you any more.

When I call out Your Name Do you Hear's picture

One more rant for the night....

I'm irritated...I don't know if it's PMS or if I'm in the angry stage...I vote the angry stage....I keep getting fucking mixed signals from her. I don't have a fucking clue whether or not she wants us to talk. She says it's fune, but I don't even fucking know....I wish I knew what she wanted....does she want us to have contact or not? If she didn't want us to have contact she would have said something right? If not and she's just decided....then fuck...that's going to rip my heart apart.....I just wish I knew what she wanted....and if she liked us talking or not.

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My heart aches....

I feel like when things are going ok.....something or some comment comes through and shatters them. My heart was doing better, and now it's aching all over again...I'm so sick of this. I could fucking scream....I hate that talking to her makes me so calm and content....and fucking happy.....when I don't evne know if she likes talking to me in the first place.

AFALGOUIHRBAGJKNEARHKLEABIGPUBWG......

I fucking hate breakups!!! I haven't cried all day and now I'm crying.....I fucking hate that I can feel so happy...and then she can say something and I can feel like such fucking shit!

When I call out Your Name Do you Hear's picture

Effing Title field....

So....I'm feeling better....not perfect..I still hurt, and miss her....but I'm feeling better...maybe even some anger? Nah...don't think so....as much as I want to be mad...there's only things that I look back now in our relationship and get mad about...but that's all said and done.
For the first time since we broke up I don't feel like crying...I get sad, but no tears.....I think my effing heart is starting to heal....

When I call out Your Name Do you Hear's picture

Random facts to brighten your day....

Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.

Abraham Lincoln faces to the right on a penny while all the other presidents face to the left on US coins.

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.

All US Presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn't like being seen wearing them in public.

In your lifetime, you'll shed over 40 pounds of skin.

There are 1 million ants for every person in the world.

When I call out Your Name Do you Hear's picture

A hundred days have made me older. Since the last time that I saw your pretty face

I'm giving kudos to Kitty who is helping to cheer me up :] now if only I had a pocket size of you to take with me everywhere...then maybe I wouldn't be sad all the time...

When I call out Your Name Do you Hear's picture

Come in, come in. Did no one tell you it's rude to lurk in doorways...

So...pretty much I cried so much I had snot run down my face....I know...most unattractive image ever!

When I call out Your Name Do you Hear's picture

So lead me by the hand and let's make up

I took off the ring she gave me that's suppose to symbolize an engagment ring....I'm so used to looking down and seeing it's there....now all that's left is a tan line where it should be. Now it's around my neck on a necklace I always wear. I don't know if that's a better spot for it...but I don't want it to get lost in my move...it at some point needs to be given back to her.

When I call out Your Name Do you Hear's picture

I feel like Bella when Edward left....

I have no where else to write about this stuff....I can't post about it on facebook....my parents will see....and I know they will be less than pleased and lecture me about it...

We talked today...well...texted...but that counts for something right?I mean...I probably shouldn't....especially if I'm trying to get over her. But I can't help it...you can't just go from talking everday with someone to not....we dated for 3 years and lived together for awhile...I can't just pretend like I don't love her...or want to talk to her. Or miss her.....god I miss her....

When I call out Your Name Do you Hear's picture

It's been awhile....

Life is a jumbled up thing these days.....I don't know what to write....I'm exhausted....this will be the first time I won't have to get up early....like...2am early.....I don't know how I feel about it....

I have a sweatshirt that smells like her from 9 almost 10 months ago....it makes me think, hurt...and a million other things....

Things ended on bad terms...and I wish they hadn't.....but things happen...and we can't change them. I'm bad at change....it freaks me out....and I'm freaking out now.....

When I call out Your Name Do you Hear's picture

Best title ever?

No...I think not.....

so basically. I'm never on here. I've lost interest. So this is basically my last journal entry for...well....forever. I may come back and look around once in a blue moon, but other than that. I'm out. As a last update...here's what's going on.....

I gave Amy a ring.....we're engaged. My life is jumbled up. Got into a fist fight with my brother, we both punched each other in the eye.

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Goodbye for the last time....

So...I check up on the Komo news website for anything else on the officers deaths and so I found a new article about Sergeant Mark Renninger and it was talking about how he went home to his tometown in Pennsylvannia for the last time. And that's where his family had his funeral. And so that's where they said goodbye to him for the last time....I cried.....I don't know why, but I did. I can't imagine how his family feels and how much it hurts to lose him, especially so close to christmas....but there's a Toby Keith song called Cryin' for me that makes me cry....

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Memorial....

They had the memorial for the 4 officers yesterday..."I watched the whole thing and cried. The thing that made me cry hardest was when they showed a video of pictures of the memorial at the Lakewood Police Department and pictures of each officer. And then the Radio call towards the end of the ceremony made me cry the hardest.....what they do is when an officer is down they'll call either the badge number of the officer or the car number.

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