Ugh I just get stuck in these stupid ruts. It's these ruts where I continually doubt my acceptance with anybody and I try to be noncommunicable so I can't mess anything up. And when I go into an isolated state and when someone shoots me down with criticisms I just get all depressed. This wasn't happening for a while, then BAM! out of no where is starts up again...
I just want to punch somebody.
Well, I mean not actually punch somebody but you get the idea...
Hell - I don't even know why I'm feeling this or what I'm feeling. I'm not sure if it's loneliness, depression, sadness, anger, annoyance, jealousy, rejection or happiness.
So, I was home sick today. Horrible. Don't feel like talking about it.
So we had our first play to night... We actually did pretty damn well considering I barely knew my cues...
Have you ever looked back on your life and just stood in awe? Not awe over something amazing. But instead, awe over your life itself. Not that it's something bad that you've done so you landed in the craper. But just in awe over your life.
So, First off!
I FUCKING LOVE KYLIE MINOGUE!
Second off. My aunt just called up...
SUPER church nut. Like LOVES JESUS!
She asked if I went to church for Easter... I lied...
I just stammered out, "ugh... yea!"
So she asked me about the message. I was like what? the regular stuff?
Eleven is early! Chryst!
So the sky is pretty blue - but that probably means it's on the frigid side up here... -,-
I WANT SPRING *growls...*
So this preaching abstinence bullshit in schools.
Last time I knew... Finland doesn't preach that crap, has .6% of teens infected with and STD, while the USA, who loves to preach abstinence, has 24% of teens infected with an STD.
You know. Every second of my life it seems like I can't develop more. Back in 4th grade - I thought that puberty was a bunch of bullshit - that all that happens is that you get bigger and grow hair.
Boy was I wrong! I turned out to be attracted to males. I wasn't consciously aware that I was a fag - but that came a year later.
People can tell that I bottle things up. Like my friend said I actually put up an emotional wall. I'm really bad at this emotional release thing.
Like I get into these moods... I ignore everything. I just don't care. It's like I'm trying to communicate my feelings of loneliness through some primal display of isolationism with an occasional grunt thrown in when a question is posed.
Do they seriously need to drill his stuff into my head even more? I mean... This is the second time I've learned about exponential equations. Oh and the linear equations - it's the third time.
Then Jesus Christ! Freshmen Social Studies was a JOKE! The AID's epidemic? I learned NOTHING! Those map quizes? I aced all of them. Hell I got a 100 on the exam!
How political hopefuls in the presidency always seem to resemble cartoon type characters?
McCain=Jack Skelington (he's a reanimated corpse)
Only exceptions I can find really are Huckabee, because all I can seem to think of is HuckaBYE...
All these people bash me for liking Hillary, yet they don't know why I like her. All they think about is how she's a bitch. They apparently haven't heard of Anne Cut Throat Bitch Coulter...
Then when they say gay rights is a primary thing and they support McCain. He likes the Federal Marriage Amendment quite a lot y'know.
Then they all go on with "you're liberal - blah blah blah".
So one of my friend's saw that I had an Obama pin on my bag. She started flipping out with a group of people, because they think that McCain is better. I explained to her that I like Obama better, because the Democratic party is more inclusive of minorities and promotes civil rights compared to the GOP.
Alrighty - so this is around the beginning of my jet setter life
(hopeful life I mean...)