So I figured out that in order to get the look of man pecs, that I need to wear 2 sports bras and 2 tight tank tops. I'm going to be really hot this summer. I guess that's what I get for being a tranny.
So it's official. I've started wearing men's clothing. I don't get what the big deal is. My outfit today was actually quite unisex-ish. I had on men's skinny jeans that aren't really skinny enough and a man's tshirt that says, "It's funny that you think I'm listening to you.
I spent a shitload of money. Who knew men's clothing was so expensive? I got a couple t-shirts, a pair of jeans, a pair of shorts, a hat, and a bathing suit. It's all good stuff, but I used my credit card so I just further in-debted myself. Oh well. It happens.
I told someone how I'm a man on the inside today. It went well. Fun stuff. He thinks my parents aren't going to kick me out. Maybe I should just get an apartment first since I don't want to live here anymore anyways.
Alright, I'll tell you about what happened on Saturday. I hung with my one guy friend who's gay. I am infatuated with him. At least that's what I've started to realize.
I bought him a drink at Starbucks. I got there before he did in order to do just that.
Just so you know, he is the most beautiful man you will ever meet. He is also one of those people who doesn't know it. That makes him all the more irresistible.
the parents are finding about me being transgendered in about 48 hours.
id do it sooner but i have to get my finals out of the way first.
i also need to make sure i have a ride (driving is bad when emotionally unstable) and a place to stay overnight (in case i get kicked out.)
i think i might have my one trans friend drive me.
i haven't told her im trans but its kind of obvious.
im pretty much the most flaming person you have ever seen.
i wore knee high rainbow socks with cutoffs today.
im way excited tho. i got my left top of my ear pierced. cuteness!
This is me. This is who I am. Accept it or do not. That's just the way things have to be. I need to stop being who I am.
Or I need to stop being someone who I am not.
Maybe you need to stop.
Do or do not.
There is no TRY.
You are who you are.
I am who I am.
Accept it or DO not.
Love is love and hate is hate. They do not disguise themselves. Mystery clothed in invisibity is still mysterious by nature. There is no changing it.
Who is and who is not?
How is it that I am typing this at all?
Why am I listening to my words type themselves on the page?
So I am finally going to get to be a little bit of a gay activist. I'm going to the Lansing Human Rights Rally in May. I'm so exited. I cannot wait for it to come. Maybe I'll go to a Pride Parade this year, too. I have so many friends who are gay so I might as well. It's not like there are a lot of people who are not in the know.
So yeah. I went to the mall with my gay friend B. It was awesome as usual. He's awesome and I'm awesome so yeah. We go together like two peas in a pod (not like that). If were to try and fuck each other, it would be like that one episode of Will and Grace where they are trying to get pregnant. Awkward!
Edit: I bought rainbow socks today at Claire's. (I forgot to tell you guys that).
Anyways. I might be attracted to my bro's friend Z. I don't know though. For some reason, I'm always attracted to assholes when it comes to guys (well maybe just recently at least). Bad boyz : )
Here's my preface: I'm not a pussy.
Anyways. So I was supposed to go to the dance with T but he had to work so it didn't work out. Instead I tried to help G get a dress because I had some but none of them fit. Then we tried to cash a check, but it didn't work out.
The dance did end up being fun. I hung out with people like E (has the same name as me), A, and J. All very cool people, by the way.
So I saw S there (the girl I went to dinner with) and somehow I had her number wrong in her phone. I'm glad I fixed this problem. More dates. Yayness.
I love feminists. I consider myself a feminist. What makes a feminist you ask?
Well, I just happen to be in the position to tell you!
A feminist is a person who is in favor of the improvement of women's rights.
That's my view at least.
Yesterday was awesome. T and I got Taco Bell, as per usual.
I stuffed my face with taconess, as per usual.
He's Muslim and I learned about what it means to be a Muslim.
He apparently thinks its okay for him to have sex before marriage because he was a Christian when he was born, which I feel is a hypocritical statement.
It's the end of the semester celebration. There's music and the lights are off...
So ya. I'm with my friend T (the guy who I'm going to the ball with as a friend).
So ya. I'm going to Taco Bell in a minute:
-cheesy potatoes-bean burrito-mexican pizza -quesadilla (only a couple of these)
T wants to dance.
Okay so these are some of the things that made my week:
-I got a free t-shirt today
-This girl helped me get my water unstuck from the vending machine
-Seeing people in the LGBT Center
-talking to my profs
-being alone in the classroom with a person ; ) (nothing happened. i think he's taken; sadly)
-talking to people in the Women's Center
-hanging out with A
-going to Applebee's
-picking out clothes for the Ball
-having a friend to go with me to the dance
Okay that's all for now. Feel free to share your happy thoughts.
I'm really into Philip Glass. Pretty cool stuff. I like instrumental music a lot. I have been listening to a lot of soundtracks lately including musicals, Disney movies (Phil Collins), Titanic, and the like (suggestions are welcome : ).
Okay so here are my thoughts on Friday's Ball. No I am not in love T. Just FYI. He's gorgeous but that's not all I'm looking for at the moment. Anyway. I may have feelings for this other guy though. Who knows. I'm still trying to figure out what's going on with him. Coming out sucks but I am not a PUSSY : P
Okay if I am it's okay. Get used to it. You haven't gotten rid of me yet.
Anyways. I was meaning to talk about clothing that i should wear.
Black blazer. White button up. Lime green tie. Gray slacks. Black shoes.
(previous username: wantstobeout (if you really to know(just sayin(okay this is way too many parantheses(oh well))))
Okay so new user name is much better than my old one. My old one had a negative connotation to it that evoked being closeted which is not a concept that the gay community is usually pleased with.
I hope you all had a nice day. I had a very nice day. I got to talk to K and V who are in the Women's Educational Center. I also talked to M who is the head of that center. She is very nice and understanding which is very helpful to me at this time.