So yeah. At library, and I'm waiting in the line for checkout. And there's this female librarian. And I can't help but think, she's a lesbian. She's not really that butch, but hey, there was something about her, and that watch.... Of course, I reprimand myself, and I thnk "don't assume." One of the things I'm checking out, though, is "Rubyfruit Jungle" a famous lesbian coming-of-age novel. And when I hand it over to her, she smiles and says "Oh, I love this book." I don't know, it was kind of nice to a queer person in a random job, not something really stereotypical :)
Just realized there are a ton of us late-nighters on right npw, how many is it? Okay, list:
there were a couple more a minute ago... oh well, that's random, I just appreciated the fact right now.
So yeah. I went to the Gay Pride Parade at the capitol. the whole parade was really fun. I walked in the religious contingent, with other memebers of my church (including my mom), and I got invited to a methodist youth reconciling (protestant code for gay) camp-conference thingy (not really sure) in Colorado. Epic! And there were more spectators this year, which was good, but still not nearly enough. I think the highlight has to be with the anti-gay protesters. Sounds weird, yes I know, but stay with me.
Okay, so it's the Gay Pride Parade tomorrow, and I'm going with my church and my mom to march in the parade. But my friend (he's bi) backed out at the last minute, so yeah, pissed. Now I'll probably have to be escorted by my mom to the youth booths. Oh well. Plus, I wanted to go to the library to get "But I'm a Cheerleader" and "The Celluloid Closet." But, damn, the library is closed when I get there. Oh well. I'll be gayer tomorrow :)
Okay, add two more to the list of people I've come out to. Thank you yearbooks! But yeah. Last day of school!Went Downtown afterwards with a friend, and we hung out at Starbuck's, the record store, the book store, and this Italian deli. It was awesome. This guy friend that I really like, but not that way, essentially has asked me out, but yeah. Complicated. Like, I was confused, and sort of flirting with him, but now I'm more sure I'm a lesbian, and shit - now he thinks I want to date him. Anyways, we were going to see a movie, but he backed out (politely), so yeah. Crisis avoided.
*Dances on vanquished summary of everything we learned in history this year* *"Sweetest Thing" by U2 plays* *la di dah* *lah lah lah*
I have given up on sleeping, literally, and I keep on playing "Sweetest thing" by U2. Wo-oh-oh, the sweetest thing. The question is, if I play it long enough, will I attain nirvana?
Damn you gigantic project....... damn you science final.... damn you really hard spelling test...... damn you all to fucking hell. My eyes have reached the burning part of the staying-up-late time of night...... I am so fucking going to fail..... FUCK. Omigod. I'm going to get carpal tunnel and arthritis and go fucking blind and deaf and omigod, help me through these troubled times. This is so fucking NOT COOL WORLD.
I wanted to wear my pajamas to the corner-store to get ice cream, but decided to be decent. Then I remembered all of my pants were in the washer/dryer. Ha! Life is on my side. I shall go do my victory dance to iTunes 30-second clip of "Rocky" theme, because I don't want to actually buy it. Yay me!
I have now come out to enough people to make a high five, so yeah, that's awesome. That makes, L (friend), H, lesbian youth minister at my church (God, I love my church!), M (friend), N (ex-boyfriend), and K (friend). M came out as bisexual to me, so I kinda reflexed and came out to him as well. Then N, ex-kinda-boyfriend, came out to me as bisexual, so I reflexed again and came out to him. He said something that seemed like he might be gay, though, that he was still questioning (which I am, too). I agonized for a bit when I was only out to one friend.
Had good gsa today. c was there, she was cute. what could i do for valentine's day for gsa? wearing black is too deppressing, and we're a happy gsa. And btw, can you retrieve journal entries when you go to another page by accident and they're no there anymore? I'm going to come out to friend when she comes over to sleepover. Is that too weird? i know she'd be supportive, and wouldn't think i'd be hitting on her, and otherwise i have no alone time with her.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Gaddamit. I can't deal with not being honest anymore. I mean, I don't have half the drama any of you guys have (in fact, I kinda go into negatives), but I can't stand it!
Today was a pretty awesome day. Saw Twilight for the third time with the one person in the world i'm out to, and her mom, so we were totally making jokes about how Alice was hot. It's actually pretty nice to have the first person i tell to be so cool with it that she's comfortable to make jokes about it. Not mean jokes, but nice, kinda teasing jokes.
I really want to sleep. Gad, why am I only able to check out oasis when other people aren't around? I've been staying up to see what other people have been writing, which isn't fun for the teenager body. Maybe I'll come out to my parents just so I can sleep :) Probably won't though. Yay.