So yay I've been sick, food poisoning, I think it was the Chinese.
At least I got a day off! I really shouldn't push myself so hard. Today I watched the first movie I've had a chance to watch in about 2 months. It was Across the Universe, which was beautiful. I'm also massively relieved that I managed to grind down my huge pile of homework.
Wow haven't been on here in while. But I've been good, just too busy. I have a week off school which helps so much. Maybe I'll finally learn that if I want to be busy I actually need to sleep and eat and so on as well. I don't think I'll be making that mistake again anytime soon.
I got my learner's permit the other week. I was exited until I actually went driving, now I'm just convinced that everyone else on the road should be very very afraid. I suppose the good news is that I haven't crashed yet.
Life keeps getting better all the time. It's not like it was exactly very good to start with, but still getting better. You see I had what I suppose you could call an unhappy childhood. A very lonely one. It had nothing to do with my parents, they were great. I lacked social skills, and hence friends until I was about 13 or 14. I made up for this with being obsessive. I used to love maths and books and gameboys. The worst part is I never even realized how angry and sad and alone I was.
It seems strange but I really do pity my 10 year old self.
It feels so nice being back into the normal routine of school. Maybe not exactly totally fun, but comfortable I suppose. Just the normal day to day stuff of life. And it's also nice to having to worry about men for now...at least for a while. A break is nice every so often. And even supposing someone comes along I don't even think I'd have time.
I'm just the tiniest busy over the next few months
*little shop of horrors
*debating two nights a week
*concert band and stage band
So I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to end what there is between me and K. It's hard to say why exactly, these things being so hard to explain. I think both of us really want it to work, he's a great guy. It's just missing something. I don't know what you call it exactly; chemistry maybe, common interests. A spark. Whatever the problem is it's just not working for me.
Hmmm so I was meant to be hanging out with K today; we were gonna hang out at a playground then head back to my place and curl up and watch a movie and make out. And it's Valentine's Day and I was planning on being all clichéd and giving him a rose from my mums garden. But now he's sick, last night he mentioned feeling a bit queasy and cold and stuff, and now he's worse. Hope he's alright =7. But meh i guess life's just a bitch sometimes I guess.
I wish I felt better. But that would just be selfish, because I don't imagine that it's considered suitable to feel good, after a funeral. Perhaps it would have been slightly more pleasant if it hadn't rained, but i suppose some would consider it somewhat fitting.
I suppose I would have to say the funeral itself was nice, as far as these things go that is. Even though I drove (well dad drove) a total of 5 hours today to be there. I could try and come up with some better phrase but I will just say I feel like shit and I do.
I'm back at school as of today. I would be wonderful to excite everyone with some witty anecdotes; but I couldn't really say I'm in the mood and also there is the fact that nothing important has really changed. Well it is year 11 now,there are a few new people (none of which have i spoken to) and the younger people look younger and I feel older, because that's just how things go. We're doing Little Shop of Horrors this year, I auditioned last week, so I guess callbacks will be in the next week or two, which should be exiting
So I'm having a shit day. I was supposed to be meeting that boy today. You know the sweet, cute, sexy, beautiful one I talked about. I was meant to be meeting him at 11, and at 10 to he texts me saying he can't make it. The closest thing I've gotten to an explanation is that he'll 'talk to me later'.
And I think he may very well be the cutest thing ever, and sweet and funny, and did I mention cute. That description doesn't really do him justice. It feels almost pointless trying to compliment him. I can't explain it. I can think of dozens of words to use, but none of them are really good enough for him. And yes he's totally put of my league.
My mother is a bitch I have decided. And I often feel she doesn't really 'get' me. Being 16 and all I suppose this is natural. It's not that she doesn't care and stuff and we do have some things in common. I don't think she has realized this but one reason I think there's now more space between us is my brother, in a somewhat indirect way. You see my brother is a few years older than me.
Do you like The Simpsons or Family Guy better?: Family Guy of course
Do you like to take surveys that are absolutely random?: self evident I think
Do you have any broken figurines in your room?: No
Do you wear bows on your head to be cute on holidays?: Well I'm a guy, so not so big on ribbons sorry
I had a good today I've decided. Surprisingly (for a good day) I worked pretty much the whole day, 1030 until 7. Somehow 8 and a half hours standing at a checkout ended up a good day.
I've been on holidays nearly two months now you know. It would be nice to be able to say that I have gone out and achieved something, or been somewhere or done anything special worth writing about. But no. As it stands I've done a lot of things; work, sit around at home, hang out with friends, go to a few parties, see a few movies, read some decent books.
This scares me.