So, finally I have the answers, I believe. They seem to be right in front of me, only everytime I think about it, it doesn't make sense.
I keep thinking about the surgery. About wanting it. But when I try to reason myself through it , think thru it, it makes no sense and my thoughts get messy.
Anyway...I need support from you guys here. i need to know things'll be okay.
So today was good...long, but good. A lot of ...well, interesting things happened.
And in a few of my classes I was so close to falling asleep that my head would kind of start to fall backward and then I would jerk it forward to keep awake. I don't get a lot of sleep.
Anyway...is anyone here especially good at researching? I'm really bad and need help?
I feel like aasking some questions, though don't know how to say what I'm thinking...
I did it.
I told the teacher at school today.
So, this is really random, I know, but I'm not sure that people know this (even my friends) and I just really feel it's itching to be known.
I had this friend in middle school who had some of her own problems at home and behavorial issues. We became friends. She used to punch me all the time. It hurt. And tickle me until I had red marks across my stomach. It hurt. And then she would say that we had to have a pillow fight. She didn't know her own strength. She would hit me really hard and I would cower in the corner. She would keep hitting me because I never said stop.
Today at school I have to confess up to some stuff which I'm pretty nervous for. I figured for at least some part of this, people can relate, or , if they can't, then you'll know at least where I'm coming from.
Confessions of the Day:
1) (to the school nurse) I think I might have an infection. How can I treat it? Is there anything else that I can do for myself to improve it?
People keep telling me that it's okay to rant, to vent, whatever you want to call it. People keep asking me how I am doing and I never know whether to lie and go on auto-response, answering "Fine and yourself?" but I don't. I tell them the truth. Too much of the truth.
I feel bad for talking this way to them...telling them how I feel. I don't know if my questions are too much. I love coming on here, conversing with the new people, but when does the "Can I ask another question" question become too old?
Okay, sorry I swore in the title. I feel it necessary with this.
Okay...so something big happened today and I missed it.
Trying to get my head wrapped around the idea...jeez. okay. Well, I know I didn't say much in this post, but I'm still trying to ease myself back into homework instead of freaking out.
day three and i feel like it's been forever.
anyway,...i have been having a rough time with things. its so annoying...i get these times of perfect clarity and then ten minutes later, i have a hard time with everything. i feel like since ive come out and since ive discovered myself, ive had such grand mood swings, even more so than in my earlier teen years.
so today is my second day on the site and already i'm addicted. i don't know much of what to say on here. just thought i'd drop a line...hmm...
i'm new to this site.
well...i have so many things to say and so , so many questions.