So the base of this issue is I like a girl who is way younger than me. I'm 18 and she's 14. I know that sounds really creepy because it's bugging me like crazy. I've never ever been interested in anyone even 2 years younger.
But M is so smart...she's in this special academy that's connected to my high school and it's for basically geniuses. She's smart and mature and sweet and funny and totally kickass (she's a 2nd degree black belt in taikwondo).
I really like her....
I feel like a fucking skeez...
I wish I could just have someone else answer that question for me! I'm sick and fucking TIRED of asking myself what the fuck genitals I should have. I don't hate my female body, but I feel so masculine and like I shouldn't have breasts.
I feel like I don't deserve to call myself trans because I don't hate my body and want to vomit every time I see it.
What do I do?
Damn. That's all I have to say about my gym class. What am I supposed to do this year?! I have NO friends in my class (and no one that I'm at all interested in trying to befriend) and NO hot girls. Literally I am silent the whole time. I stretch quietly and alone. I run quietly and alone. I work out on the machines quietly and alone. SCREW THIS IT'S GONNA SUCK THIS YEAR!
Every single time I write some sort of reply or comment or entry, after I hit "post" it says "blah blah blah has decided you might be spam so you gotta read this annoying thing and type in the letters and hope you don't screw up so you can actually post this stupid thing" >_<
Hey y'all! It's been like a year since I've been on and I'd imagine none of you remember me haha Anywho, I've had an...interesting...year and I've missed the site! I've been having some issues with identity (oh wait, I'm a gay teenager...duh) and I've missed being able to write here and have all you guys react with such kindness. You don't get much of that where I'm from.
I'm not trying to be vain. I swear it on my poetry. I have girls chasing me right and left and OMG they won't leave me alone! So I've got a girlfriend, DefyingGravity, and I am so so soooo happy she's mine. You have no idea, she's amazing! But then there's 3 girls and then a total closet case who are totally after me.
it's beautiful and funny as all hell! i want this song on my ipod!!
Ok so obviously the following journal entry will be chock full of cuteness and giggleness and love-sickness. I don't really care if you chickenbutts groan and rolls your eyes at the silly lesbian who's all cuckoo for some girl...because she's not just some girl.
Don't do it. Ever. Understood, my little chickens? Ever, ever, EVER! As you can imagine, I've had my own personal hellish experience and it did NOT end well.
I was madly, passionately, whateverly in love with this girl in 8th grade. I thought she was real sweet, y'know? No. Wrong. Sorry, wrong number, not available, goodbye.
You ever listen to music and just feel so utterly moved by it that you want to cry, no matter what the kind of music is? Right now I'm listening to the Tarzan soundtrack and the song Strangers Like Me just....it's like....part of me almost. The sound of the drums and the way his voice brings this emotion to it...a sort of desperation and determination and a sense of childlike naiviete. Don't we all feel that at some point? This need to be better and to understand something that seems so much bigger than ourselves?
it's amazing and wonderful and if you like sappy love songs...sorta think jason mraz's i'm yours and you're there hehe
So my mom. Straight, right? Er....wrong....And I'll tell you, that was thrown at me like a rock. A few months ago, in the midst of feeling extremely lonely and lost, she lets something slip. I had been feeling alone and totally isolated; no gay people to talk to, just a bunch of straighties who don't get it. Then once my mom said something along the lines of a girl being hot. And I laughed and said "Mom, I thought you were the straightest person alive!" and she turns on me and says "Where the hell do you think you got it?!".................*cue sudden realization*
Alright, I didn't think that I could be any more resentful to the Puritanical society that I'm forced to live in....until now. I am watching Taboo on National Geographic International. This is fucking INSANE! In India, there is a tiny village where there is a "third gender" called a Heedra. They are men who, either because of feminine characteristics or just choice, become women. Even though they are seen as social outcasts, they have strong ties to each other and fight for equality much like we do here.
You ever feel like your life was totally out of your control but you're still holding onto that one itsy-bitsy wire...hoping beyond hope that you can pull it back on course? Yea. Welcome to me. I think I started on this wonderfully slippery face of losing sanity about 2 years ago. First thing I remember is the notice that we (my mother and I) were in foreclosure. Yea, you heard me, those bastards at the bank are going to take our house.
Hey everyone! Wow...it's been so long since I've been on here, and honestly..I missed it. Ok, so I guess I should give you lumps a summary of my wonderfully thrilling boring life, eh? Here we go, ladies and gents! Get your notebooks ready....