Gender X...yea...I THINK...that's me. I mean...I have no idea. Am I a girl? Do I belong in the skin that I was born with? Or am I a...boy? Am I supposed to have a penis? I don't think that I'm a transgender, because in no way do I hate my body parts. Isn't that what trans people feel? I mean...that's what I was always told: that they honestly hate their vagina or penis...and want the opposite.
But I don't hate my body! I love my breasts and my vag...dunno why...they're just beautiful I guess. I have a nice body, in the typical sense. But I love dressing like a boy...
So I have not been on for like...um...a long time lol But anyway, this is about my girlfriend Sher...and omg..I love her so much...I can honestly say that I believe that she has saved my life.....
A gentle morning breeze.
These are the scents
that fill my senses as you lay in my arms.
makes me close my eyes
and see with my heart.
And what a heart it is.
There was a time
when this heart was gone.
A black hole left in its place!
Wow...It feels like forever since I've been on here 0_o' So as an update with Sher and I; things are amazing. We get closer and closer every day and I am just starting to really like....accept the fact that someone as emotionally and physically BEAUTIFUL can love someone like me. Me! She's just so perfect....but she's been sick this weekend so I'm sad and worried. I've heard reports of that like..swine flu or whatever and she's got flu-ish symptoms. I'm all worried over her and I haven't been able to see her in 2 days. It's killing me.
I'm so friggin head over heels. And I'm not used to it! I mean..I am...but not like THIS. I've been in love before...to this extent. But they were people who used me and abused me and treated me like I'm made out of plastic...no feelings. But Sher...she loves me too!
Yea...so some of you saw my earlier entry on the new gf....well...guess what wonderful thing happened...oh...2 hours ago.
Her kinda sorta a lot of a homophobic mother...walked in on us. making out. on their living room floor. *shoots self in face*
Um...she apparently wants to act like nothing happened...which is...good? But I honestly almost threw up about 3 different times. I was so fucking terrified. I've never moved faster in my LIFE!
Her mom acted like nothing had happened and then apparently told Sher that she's going to keep pretending. sooo...*shrug and sarcastic smile*
Um...yea....I dunno if you guys cared enough to remember that there was this chick who I dubbed "Closet-Case" because of her obvious attraction to me but total denial of it. And well...she's now my...devoted...girlfriend.... 0_o'
This is the only way of truly expressing...the story of meeting That Person...and then losing them because they were already someone else's.....
I hear your crying,
your tears crash with mighty howls.
My heart is seizing and tearing at itself.
It screams its lament
of love so easily given and taken.
My memories well within my eyes,
replicas of the tears you shed,
the ones I hear from behind this locked door.
so sure of their intent,
searching for my stable hand.
Your head resting upon my chest,
What the hell do you do when you think that you're...that you....*gulp*...like...a major closet-case?
She's so beautiful...but soooo in denial. She's "repulsed" by the thought of doing anything physical with a girl. She thinks it's unnatural. But she flirts with me...and says she likes it. Says her favorite part of her day is when she sees me.
So there's this singer/guitarist named Susan Werner....she's amazing!!!! She's probably on youtube or whatever. If you're gonna look her up, look up "Susan Werner I Still Believe"
This is about Bre
The sun is so bright,
my eyes are straining.
Your eyes are so wonderful.
Stare at me longer.
The breeze is so soft,
It's teasing the whisps of hair
around your solid face.
You're so kind,
how could I not have seen it?
My life is changing
and I've lost my sweet control.
Your face holds a curious gaze.
I look behind you.
She's holding your hand,
holding your heart.
The sun is too bright,
my eyes are closing.
The wind is whipping,
pulling my security with it.
She's not yours!
Ok, so I've been trying desperatly to get a stupid picture for my account and it's not WORKING.....UUURRRGG I don't see what the problem is. I made it the right friggin size and it won't work...
OMGGGGG I'm such a CHILD!!! There's this freshman...her name is Bre *points to obvious title* and she's...interesting. We went to middle school together, and apparently, we were in a summer program together like....6 years ago. She remembers us being friends then but I don't remember much from that summer.
But she's cute...in an odd way. She has amazing eyes...like steel gray with blacker hues around her pupils. Her hair is dyed black, but not trashy...it's really nice on her. And she's kinda short...but tough..like a little solid tank lol And she's got wicked ear piercings.
So...don't you hate it when you're supposed to be in on something...but you're not? I mean...even something as serious as family. I went up to Cape Cod for a family funeral for my Uncle Pat (he's my mum's uncle) and all my cousin's and second cousins and others were there. I don't know these people! I remember Cousin Katie...that's it...and the last time I saw these people I was like....8.
Hey, y'all! so yea, I won't be on for a while. I'm leaving today (it's tuesday morning around.....8) and i won't be back until late on thursdayyyyy
goin to massachusettes for a family funeral...mom's uncle...don't remember him....or any of her family, for that matter -_o ug...yea. ok well i'll see y'all when i get back
and to DefyingGravity if you get this: YOUR PUPPY IS SO CUTE!!! I love ya and i'll talk to you when i get back girlie. <3 x a million
Ok...don't you HATE it when your conscience kicks in when you reaaalllyyyy don't want it to?! It's happened to me twice this week already!