Why do people have to let me down slowly? Because I feel like that's what Cian tried to do, when he told me that he wasn't able to abstract the viability of me and him; of us. But, essentially, I told him that he should shut the fuck up, and to not worry about the practicalities, the technicalities - all of the alities! Whatever is gonna be, is gonna be, and we shouldn't hinder that. Somehow, things are going to take their course. Sure we can influence that course, but why? When we alter fate's course - whatever fate happens to be - we just avoid a risk. And I am a risk.
Today's been bloody fucking horrible.
First, shelbie gave me the journal.
But wait - I should explain the "journal". Essentially, it started out with me comandeering shelbie's ips binder to write about how I hate theatre. And then she wrote about something else. And gave it to me. So it's become this tradition where we write and exchange. We're on our fourth notebook.
Well holy fuck. It's been... A month, or two... or three? Since I've posted here.
Need I say more?
I feel as if my life has been completed!
I feel as if I'm stuck in a rut.
I'm ready to move forward - to explode into the future! Yet, I'm still held back by all these things that seem truly and utterly trivial to me. Why should I have to the SAT, the ACT and the SAT-II Subject Tests? They're not real life - I'm not going to have to fill in a fucking bubble as a doctor. Or as a sociology professor. Or as anything I want to be or do.
Holy fuck. Why do people bring their gaggle of ten-year old kids to a concert and stand at the front row, whilst people are moshing in back of them? Don't they realize that the kids could freaking die? I freaking fell down when the lead singer of Cage the Elephants jumped on the crowd - how is a middle schooler supposed to stand up and support him or herself?
Anyway, that's how it went at the concert I was at. It was a fucking field trip - I swear! And on a Monday FUCKING night. Don't ten year olds have a bed time of like 7:30? I'm pretty sure I did.
I'm in love with Stephen Sandvoss, I've decided.
He, pretty much, is the most gorgeous thing to walk this planet. ever.
Anyway, he was Aaron in Latter Days (2003) - which is my favorite movie. ever.
Oh, and there's a lot more risqué pictures of him out there. There's actually one where he's wearing short shorts, and well... it's revealing.
Jus' felt like pointing this revelation of mine out there...
My friend and I wrote a poem today. It's in the style of E. E. Cummings.
Well, nothing astounding has occurred in my life, if it's any consolation.
Basically, I've just been going to class, and laying low. Everyone else has drama, except for me. It's weird. The relationship between Christina (my brother's fiance) and my parents is still strained, by it's no longer a source of anguish for either party. Both sides have just became indifferent to each other. Well, not really indifferent - they've just become resigned from the situation all together. THANK FUCKING GOD. I was getting tired of hearing everyone bitching.
This made my night.
Guesss who has a new avatar?!
If you guessed him, then you're right!
So, I woke up this morning and I all like.. "Wtf... I'm way to well rested - are we seriously having a snow day?" Then, I looked outside, and there was barely even an inch of snow on the ground. So I was all like... "Are my parents alive... Did some crazy sociopath kill them? Is that why they didn't wake me up for school?"
This weekend has been... well... compared to ones past, relatively unexciting and mediocre. It's not that I didn't do anything - I did do some things - it's just... they felt so routine and quite frankly... drab.
So, to start off, I went to the Salvation Army on Friday accompanied by my youth group (I'm the youth leader) and we served food. But before we started serving our prepared morsels, the head food-woman-lady-individual came up to me and said, "Oh, thank goodness we have a young man here! Could you please take the garbage out?!"...
Holy fucking shit, I just found out an hour ago. I was so oblivious, then my bestfriend called me and she was like, "someone told me that someone else told that person that someone else that person that Imogen Heap was coming to Higher Ground". And she was like, "I just thought I'd tell you, in case is actually turns out to be true, which I doubt. I think it's a lie or some crap".
So, I was all like, "Yea... probably not." Just so I didn't get super hopeful and then let down. Then, I checked, AND SHE IS!