I feel like Andy just gave up on me. He broke up with me, at least this is what he conveyed to me, not because he disliked me, or his passion for me faded. No, instead he broke up with me, because he figured it would be easier, with the distance.
So I wore my "Legalize Gay" shirt the other day. Naturally, I got it in the most flamboyant color available, caramel pink.
I especially love how the Portland diocese has been passing around collection baskets for donations to the "Yes on 1" campaign in Maine. It just seems like this is California all over again, except with Catholics instead of Mormons. So far, the Diocese has donated more than 270K. Granted this is far less than the amount the Mormons donated in California, but Maine is also a far smaller state.
I was flirting with a boy tonight. But I don't think I actually really, genuinely, absolutely like him. Like we click enough. But not enough to make it into love I think.
But it was weird, through out flirting, I just felt bad. I felt like I was betraying Andy. But it's been a month. And I told someone that I still missed them, and he told me I needed to get over it... But I don't know, it was my first shot at love, you know? And it's not like we ended on bad terms. We ended on AMAZING terms. We liked each other when we split. I still like him. He still thinks about me... I think.
I like how Carmen writes her journals.
I miss him.
I miss his taste, his smell, and how he felt to touch.
I miss spending the weekends with him, and visiting with his family.
It's decided, I like people's mom, and no, not in a sexual way.
But, I keep on catching myself thinking about him.
About every night, I've spent an hour day dreaming about him, before going to bed.
I wonder, does he ever think about me...?
I fulfilled my civic responsibility today! Over the course of two hours, I placed over fifty phone calls! Unfortunately, I only talked to four people. Yup, that's right. Four friggin' people. The majority of the people hadn't updated their voting information, so I kept on getting disconnected numbers or the wrong numbers.
But there was this one lady and I asked her if she supported same-sex marriage and she said "no". I scanned over her information and I noticed that she lived on "Gay Drive". And I wanted to be like, "Uhm... Really, because you have to. You live on Gay Drive".
So, today I had to go back to my APUSH teacher's classroom after workblock ended because I need to pick up an essay he had revised for me. When I was walking to his classroom, I passed him on his way to the copy room. So, he told me he'd be back in five. Anyway, I got to his room, went in and noticed somebody at the bank of computers - my friend Liz. Now, her back was facing me, so she didn't know it was me, when I walked in. However, she heard me. I went up behind her and grabbed her hair. And she was like... "M... M... Mr. Clark?". And I was like, "Haha, nope. Just Thommy".
So, I have a new object of affection. Well, it's more that I think this kid is smoking! I oogled him when I was supposed to be working on an FRQ. He's a freshman. I don't actually know him. I don't even know his name actually. It's "C" something. Not Cameron, no Connor... bah, it's not important anyway. I probably wouldn't date him. I don't think I'm ready. But that doesn't mean I can't look at him ; ]
Does anybody else wish that Hayao Miyazaki produced a gay-romanced themed anime? Naturally, I'm talking about boy to boy romance, because well, I don't care about girls that much. Although a lesbian Kiki's Delivery Service would be cool. I would watch it ; ]
But imagine a gay Laputa: Castle in the Sky! That would be so cute! I wouldn't want Nausicaa to be a guy though. I actually like that one heterosexual.
But! Pazu being a homo would be so cute. I think I would faint if it would happen. And a lesbian Kiki. That'd be so awesome! Especially because the kid she likes is an ugo.
Is coming out really that hard for people? I don't mean to say that being gay is easy, but are people - especially parents - really that mean? Sure, when I came out to my mom, I was scared as all hell, but that was just because i drilled that social stigma into my head that homosexuality was a taboo. I think I always knew that she would love me.
Know who's gonna phone people for the "No on 1" Campaign in Maine?
If you were thinking a petite homosexual from Vermont, then you guessed right!
Yup, I'm fulfilling my Civic Responsibility by volunteering for a phone back, the dirst of October. I'm so pumped for this. I getta call people and TELL them that my peers and I deserve equal rights! And chances are, this campaign for No one 1 will be fruitful, unlike the No on Prop 8 campaign!!! (=\ about the failure of No on Prop 8)
Why is Miley Cyrus's single "Party in the USA" still number one on iTunes? Seriously?
Her music... No, I can't even describe how wretched it is. That would mean I would have to analyze, would of course mean, I would have to listen to it.
I really love how these over-polished, teen, Disney stars are somehow "popular", and artists that are actually good get ignored, like Imogen Heap or Kate Earl or the Divinyl's.
Okay the Divinyl's were a joke. I can't actually take any artists seriously when the chorus has the line "I touch myself" in it.
I'm so incredibly frustrated now. I just want to be OUT of this state. I'm so f'ing tired of my school. All the people there, are boring, annoying and so incredibly unattractive. All the males at my school walk around like they have a stick up their ass because it somehow communicates more masculine body language, or at least that's the conclusion I've arrived at. And it pisses me off!
So my pops and I went into town today to buy me some skis:
They're Volkl Bridges. I got bindings, polls, boots and obviously the skis for about 800. And naturally of course, I'm f'ing pumped to ride these bitches.
My boyfriend. Well, he's my ex-boyfriend now, but that's a long story for another time. This post is supposed to be humorous.
Anyway, sorry for that divergence. My EX-boyfriend, spent the night at my house a couple of weeks ago. My mother made a pasta with a Gorgonzola marscapone sauce for dinner. My ex-boyfriend... He should have a name, shouldn't he? Andy, my ex-boyfriend, my best friend Sarah, my mother, my brother and I were eating it at the dinner table. We decided to tell jokes.
So I told the only one I really knew which is:
"How do you tell when a blonde is having a bad day?"