Super Duck's picture


Dear Mrs. History Teacher,

You know, there are a lot of things I don't like about you. Insinuating that atheism is merely an adolescent phase was NOT cool. Practically comparing homosexuality to cutting off little boys' balls so their voice doesn't deepen and they can sing higher was also very, very uncool. Sorry, but you have absolutely no concept of tact. I hate it when you single out people who are different races than you. I have no idea what you meant by my friend's "old country" today since she was born in America. Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot. She is from a different country than you. You, Mrs. History Teacher, were born on the Isle of Shitforbrains. No wonder French Class Girl liked you! You guys are from the same place! You also say that the fact that society is becoming less religious will lead to terrible things. Guess what? I'm an atheist AND a good person! I don't need a god to be good.

But what REALLY gets me is your glaring hypocrisy. You were mad today because we didn't finish reading our handouts you gave us yesterday. That was roughly 20 pages! I told you, "I'm sorry. I started, but I have other classes too." You were thoroughly displeased. Well, maybe I am thoroughly displeased with YOU. And I swear if your "little quiz" you're giving just to be an asshole tomorrow messes up my B average and forces me into another 2 months of the Nazi bootcamp study hall that I can't even study in, my therapist bill will be on YOU when I break down.

No love,
Super Duck

Super Duck's picture

The Ultimate Betrayal of the Koolaid Man

Today was not so great. It's just been one thing after another ever since I got up. It all started this morning when I was feeding my cats. My grown cat was eating on the screened-in porch, and my little backyard kittens were, of course, outside. When I opened the door to bring them their food, one decided it was curious about indoor life and ran past me through the door. My grown cat is NOT a fan of baby kittens. I tried to catch my kitten, but it was too fast. Then I saw my cat sniffing it. I figured he'd probably attack it, so I grabbed him and... tossed him onto the nearest chair... I didn't mean to throw him, and he didn't get hurt since it was only a couple feet away, but I was in a hurry, and I didn't want him to hurt the kitten. I felt really bad about it. I hope he's not still mad at me. :'( He doesn't seem to be, but I still feel terrible!

Super Duck's picture


French Class Girl wasn't in school today, but I still have a story for you guys! Today there was chemistry tutoring for the upcoming test. Not understanding quantum numbers, I decided to join in. We all know who's in my chemistry class, right? I'm pretty sure you know where this is going. Having to sit just inches away from Old Crush for a full 45 minutes or so was soooo awkward! It only got worse when she started talking to me. I thought I was gonna puke. Oh, and it's a good thing I never had a chance with her because she can't understand anything I say!

Super Duck's picture

Boxes Are Our Only Hope

Why does Old Crush have to be such a sexy, evil bitch? I hate her. Who does she think she is, sexily bending over less than a foot away from me to get her paper? And I couldn't even touch her amazing body, of course. I just had to sit there and try not to drool too much. It STILL blows my mind that she and French Class Girl are cousins. They are opposites! Old Crush is hot, hot, HOT; French Class Girl is... Uhhhh, I don't want to call her ugly, but she's definitely not cute. Old Crush is mean; French Class Girl occasionally tries to be mean but instead comes off as endearingly stupid. Old Crush is, unfortunately, as straight as an arrow; French Class Girl is so gay she makes the rainbow look like a shining beacon of heterosexuality. The differences go on and on and on.

Super Duck's picture

Three Farmers On Their Way to See Batman

This senior guy I've never talked to in my entire life came up to me today, butted into my conversation, and told me I was going to rot in hell. I said, "Great! I'll see you there." He just kind of slowly walked away after that. It was pretty weird and oddly hilarious. I've heard he's a rotten bag of douche, and I guess it's true.

Super Duck's picture

I got to play with the kitten again today. :D

I still didn't figure out if it was a boy or a girl, so I haven't named it yet. :( It loves me so much, though! It let me pet it a bunch of times today without freaking out, but only if I was sitting down. It doesn't like me when I stand up.

Today, some of my friends and I were discussing people's voices. This led to one of them mocking me in her impression of my voice, which was pretty spot-on. She even did my accent (or lack thereof) perfectly. It was almost scary. I then tried to do her voice but failed miserably because no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't pronounce "I" in a southern accent. Eventually, I was told to "just stop trying." Hahaha!

Super Duck's picture

Toilets Stole My Bike

I should be studying algebra right now, but I don't much feel like it. It's soooo boring! I understand most things so far in the chapter, though, I think. Wow, I hope I can actually get a good grade in math for once!

The first quarter of the school year is ending soon. (ALREADY!?) I am sooo anxious. I need all A's and B's to get out of study hall, and history (Gasp! It's not math this time!) might actually be the class that annihilates that. I'm about to check my grades, and I'm scared.

Super Duck's picture

My elbow itches.

My mom took my car to her churchy Bible study thingy, and my dad and I went to get it. That's not what I want to write about, though. THIS is what I want to write about: A hot girl there, probably about 18 years old, kept smiling at me. :D I highly doubt it meant anything since this was some Southern Baptist church, but it made me feel so good! She had long, brownish-red hair and green eyes, and she was pretty smokin' hot.

Super Duck's picture

Cheez-its Should Get Off Their High Horse

The little kitten from the last journal let me touch its back today! It's so fuzzy and adorable! I can't wait until it lets me hug it! I wish I knew what to name it, but like I said, I'm not entirely sure if it's a boy or a girl. I think it's a little boy, but I wasn't close enough to see for sure.

Weekends always go by too fast. I never actually do anything worthwhile, but I like not being stressed by school. I wish they lasted longer...

Super Duck's picture

I am a loser.

There's a stray cat family that hangs out in my backyard. It's a mother and two kittens, and the kittens are about two months old. I feed the kitty family sometimes. Today, the three of them were out there, and I got one of the babies to play with me for the first time ever. I have one of those cat toys that's a stick with a ribbon and a small, stuffed toy attached to it. The little cat baby loves it. :) I wish I knew if it was a boy or a girl so I could give it a name. Its sibling is cute too, but I think this little kitty is the cutest thing on the planet. I just want to pick it up and snuggle it forever!

Super Duck's picture

Marshmallows Touch Themselves At Night

That has got to be my favorite quote so far from the Instant Title Generator. Well, that and "Fishermen Are Watching You Poop."

My 7-year-old sister is currently whining about how I'm allowed to eat in my room while she isn't. This is because I know how to throw away my trash, and she apparently doesn't. I don't think she quite grasps the concept of me being more than twice her age and therefore able to do things she can't. I hate it when she says, "But Super Duck can ____!" while arguing about not being able to do something. 15-year-olds are generally allowed to do many more things than 7-year-olds are...

Super Duck's picture

Pencils are trying to kill you. Oh, yes.

I am pretty much on the verge of tears right now. I have so much homework tonight, and most of it is utter bullshit. My English teacher insulted my intelligence by giving us two very, very repetitive worksheets on capitalization. I have an insane history test tomorrow. I have algebra homework that I absolutely do not understand, and I have fucking chemistry notes. HOLY HELL, I HATE CHEMISTRY! The notes are extra credit, but I made a freaking D on my test today, so I need to do that if I want to keep an A in the class. (This is taking forever to type for that very reason. I am doing chemistry notes and trying to write a journal.)

Super Duck's picture


Friend: Remember how I said nothing too interesting happened at Homecoming?
Me: Yeah...
Friend: I lied. I didn't want to tell you over text. I need to see your reaction.
Me: Haha, what happened?
Friend: French Class Girl.
Me: Well, of course. What about her?
Friend: I looked over and saw her dancing dirty with some other girl.
Me: OH MY GOD. How so? And why on Earth did the other girl put up with it?
Friend: She was like, practically grinding on her, and I guess the other girl didn't notice at first, but after about a minute or so, she did notice and quickly walked away.
Me: How bad was it on a scale of 1 to 10?
Friend: 11. Even with the lights dimmed, it was still noticeable, and she was being pretty nasty.

I knew my friends' text message descriptions of the night were far too tame. I just knew it.

Super Duck's picture


I got that title from the instant title generator, but it's a fact!

Last night was Homecoming. I didn't go. (I went last year and quickly discovered that school dances are NOT a good place for Super Ducks.) Some of my friends did, however, go, and I had them text me if anything interesting happened. I didn't get very many texts, but apparently, French Class Girl spent quite some time standing aimlessly beside Irritating Girl. They also fixed each other's hair. Ooooh~! Besides the hair fixing, she never did anything to her except talk. She just stood there with her. Oh, FCG, you should've asked her to dance with you, silly! Also, someone desperately needs to upload some pictures. My friend's description of FCG's outfit sounded utterly ridiculous. I have to see this for myself.

Super Duck's picture

Towels Go To Camp

My journals will never have titles like "Insert Title Here" again.

I just added Old Crush on facebook because I thought it would be funny if she accepted. The other hot chick in my chemistry class did! Old Crush was in bitch-mode today, but it was a no uniform day, and her shirt was tight, so I'm not complaining. (My chemistry class should be re-named "The Study of Old Crush's Boobs" because that is seriously all I do in there.) If she recognizes me as the creepy sophomore who stares at her chest in chemistry class, I will die of laughter.

Syndicate content