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Pretend this title is made of awesome.

So, today I had a chemistry test. I have a habit of cramming hardcore in the 5 minutes or so before everyone gets settled in class and the teacher passes out the tests. In chemistry class, we have to put our stuff in a designated place. I grabbed my notes from my backpack and ran to my desk. I was almost there when I smacked into someone. When I went to apologize, I realized they were kind of, well, Old Crush.

Me: Oh, I'm sorry, I was just-- AHHHHHH I'M SORRY!

The test itself was okay after I managed to calm down from having Old Crush boobs invade my personal space. God, I'm so awkward.

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French Class Girl was trying to seem so straight today. It was hilarious, and I think the girl was actually buying it. Ahahaha! Well, she doesn't know her that well, so I guess I can see how she'd be fooled. She was talking to her "new friend," who seems to be slowly falling victim to her hypnotic powers. (She implied that she'd like to touch FCG's hair.) Upon realizing the girl had a brother, FCG went off into a poorly-executed spiel about how attractive the brother was. It was not believable at all... Then she would randomly bring it back up. It was total overkill.

FCG, you are a horrible actress. I've witnessed a whole year of your sub-par acting skills. The only way anyone could possibly be fooled into thinking you are straight is if they had never seen you interact with a girl. All I can tell you is to embrace your gay, my dear! EMBRACE YOUR GAY! :)

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Today was... interesting.

One of my friends and I had a hilarious conversation today. We were outside, and French Class Girl walked by. We laugh every time we see her when we are together. (Today before school, he randomly said hi to her. He said she was very, very confused by this, and he found it to be hilarious, so he's going to keep doing it.) She often goes outside during the little 15-minute break we get, and she passes by us. Today was no exception. She was not within earshot of us today, though, so we had a little more fun with our discussion of her than usual.

Friend: ((whistles)) Ooooh la-la!
Me: Hehehe, stop, if you're too loud, she might hear you!
Friend: I WANNA SQUEEZE HER... nose.

You'd understand if you saw her. Her nose is very unique. As strange as it sounds, if you showed me pictures of a thousand noses, I swear I could tell you which was hers.

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Justin Bieber's song "Baby" is stuck in my head. >:C

I talked to Old Crush today. Oh, my god. I know, right? I didn't even throw up or anything, although once I realized she was speaking to me and not her group, I felt like I was going to. It doesn't feel like it even happened... We were doing our chemistry experiments, and her group was by mine, and she asked me what one of the tools was for. It was just freaking WEIRD. The fact that she knows I exist is weird! When I was 12, that was like, my ultimate dream, and now it is weird to me. I know, I keep abusing the word "weird," but that is seriously all I can think of to describe it! I used to think of her as like, a super hot goddess or something, who would never know I existed or talk to me as if I was human or anything, and three years later, she asks me a question in chemistry class. What the hell!? What's next, knowing my name? The thought is confusing and slightly gross to me.

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French Class Girl is such a perv.

Irritating Girl is unintentionally helpful. Remember how I said in Chemistry, we have to pick numbers to determine our lab groups? She picked the one I was going to pick, landing her in a group with freaking Old Crush. The one I picked after that got me in a group with my two friends and some random eleventh grade guy who doesn't seem too enthusiastic about the whole thing. Hahaha! YES! Dodged a bullet! Thanks, IG!

French Class Girl was soooo inappropriate today! IG wasn't paying attention to her, so FCG took her notebook and spanked her with it. IG still did not listen. FCG knew she had to resort to some drastic measures, so... Oh, my god, I can't believe I'm typing this. She reached up IG's skirt and grabbed her ass.

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Poor Little Dumbass Feelings

Who remembers my friend who thought French Class Girl was hot? Well, today he changed his mind. We were having a normal conversation when she walked by us, and I started giggling insanely in the middle of my story.

Him: What?
Me: Oh, I'm sorry. Her face makes me laugh.
Him: Haha, that's mean, but it IS pretty funny.
Me: I know it's mean, but I just can't help it!
Him: Yeah, if you laugh at her face, you might hurt her poor little... dumbass feelings... or something! They do have feelings, right?
Me: HAHAHA! Yeah, I'd never actually tell her that her face is hilarious. And I thought you were the one who called her hot?
Him: Well, I only saw her from the back when I said that!

HAHAHA! How can you decide if someone is hot based on the back of their head? You could determine whether or not they had nice hair, and that's about it. Haha! Oh, god, what would I do without my friends? Well, I guess FCG would look okay from the back, but her face is just so... FCG-ish.

"Poor little dumbass feelings" is my new favorite phrase.

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SCHOOL: I do not like it.

My summer reading test went horribly today. No, wait, it was worse than that. I knew maybe 10 answers out of 50-something. I'm so lucky it's English class. I can at least reverse some of the damage of that awful failure.

I have never felt so stupid in my entire life. I don't fail English tests. Hell, I don't make B's on English tests. I make 95+ on English tests with no exceptions. I can't believe how badly I did. I just... wow.

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This is a cool title, you guys!

My English teacher made me uncomfortable... This morning she gave us a worksheet with a bunch of sentences on it to work on, and half of them were somehow Jesus-related. Most basically amounted to "Pray for forgiveness for your sins or you will ROT IN HELL!" except not in that exact wording, of course. It was really awkward to me because although this is private school, it's not Christian school. My friend who's a Buddhist was also kind of weirded out by it. Also, I am going to bomb my summer reading test next week because I didn't actually read any of that shit! I hope SparkNotes and CliffsNotes can get the job done. If not, then oh, well, it's just English class. English class is ridiculously easy.

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Chemistry class. >:C BUT there is some good news too.

Today was both better and worse than yesterday. I shall save the good news for last. First, you shall get to read about how much I still hate chemistry class and about how pissed I am about that not-having-a-class-yet-still-forced-to-stay at school thing. It got worse.

In Chemistry, the teacher went over safety rules today. Most were common sense, like not eating chemicals and stuff, but I feel that she went into unnecessary detail as to how you can die horribly if you don't follow the rules. I don't want to hear a detailed description of chemicals peeling someone's flesh off an hour before I have to eat.

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Super Duck is displeased.

Today sucks. Today sucks big, fat, hairy, green monkey balls. I had three consecutive hours of pure fail that are solid proof that the universe is out to get me.

1. We all know that as much as French Class Girl annoys me, it wouldn't be French class without her, right? Yeah, well, she threw another fit and found a loophole in the requirements. Yes, our FCG was smart enough to do that. Crazy, right? I don't even know what exactly she did. It had something to do with the college she wants to go to. She will be changing her schedule within the next few days. Oh, how I hate that Skankbucket.

I hate her so much right now. She is really going to leave me in there with BORING PEOPLE! Not only will French class be boring, but I also seriously think... No, that's crazy. I can't think such a thing! But... Ugh, I think I miss her. Terribly, even! Oh, how gross! How can I do such a thing!?

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When one of my friends told me that it was possible to take Chemistry in 10th, 11th, or 12th grade, depending on the grades you make and if you are in Honors classes, I had a feeling those evil, evil school people would do this to me. I just didn't want to mention it in case it came true... IT DID. I am SO FULL OF RAGE RIGHT NOW. Guess who I have in my freaking chemistry class? Well, Crazy Teeth Girl's boyfriend is there, but that's not what I'm raging about. I am raging about French Class Girl's cousin. Yes, the one I had a crush on in like, 6th grade. This is not happening. Oh, my god. This can't be happening. Why must they torture me so? I am not sitting by her, but... I have to see her every day and be reminded of my embarrassing 12-year-old self. Eww! Oh, god, what if the teacher makes us get in the same lab group or something for a project? NO! NO! NO! NO! I will throw a French Class Girl-esque fit.

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I have school tomorrow, but...

Something epic just happened. There's this guy in the grade below me who is one of my better friends at school. He's the one who called French Class Girl hot once. I apparently made him want to take French, so he studied the language a little and knows some basic stuff. This year, he signed up for the actual class, but he was the only one who did, and they can't have a class with just one student, now can they? So, the French teacher made him an offer... Join French 2. Yes, that's right. French 2. With yours truly and Irritating Girl and some semi-normal chick and possibly the world famous FCG if she stops being a skankbucket and realizes she should take it. This, of course, ended up with me jumping up and down yelling, "TAKE FRENCH! AHAHA YES!"

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Sister: Hmmph. I hate Granny.
Me: Why? What's your problem?
Me: Well, you aren't supposed to eat McDonalds stuff often. It's bad for you. There are lots of things here to eat.
Sister: HMMPH! ((spits and slaps me really freaking hard)) McDonalds does NOT make you FAT!

Fine. If she's so sure it doesn't, then she should eat McDonalds every day and see what she weighs by the time she's my age. Insolent little brat. My arm was red for like, 10 minutes. Damn. She might only be 7 years old, but she's huge. Definitely packs a punch.

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According to my sister, my hair is lumpy.

She meant wavy but decided that the word "lumpy" was a good synonym.

I was going to post something depressing, but who wants to read all of my whiny shit when you can read about French Class Girl's latest attempt at getting girls? She is joining the school soccer team! Oh, yes, it's true. She said that their first game is coming up soon. She hasn't ever, ever mentioned playing soccer before, so I must wonder if she actually knows how to play or if she just wants access to the locker room. Going by what I know of FCG, it's probably the latter. Oh, FCG... Tell me if it works. >:D

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I had this really witty and amazing title, but I forgot it.

Last night, I had this dream where I went back in time, and the only way I could get back to the present was to throw pieces of magical paper down some holes in a building, which lit up crazy colors. Benjamin Franklin was there, and for some reason, so was Ke$ha. Oh, and then the Grammatically Challenged Girl appeared and gave me some words of, um, "wisdom," but I forgot what exactly she said. She sounded kind of like an old man, I think. I can't help but wonder why the hell she was in the 1700s or what Ke$ha had to do with anything or, really, why any of that even happened... Why can't I have normal person dreams?

That's not what I want to talk about, though. I want to talk about this strange phenomenon I experience every year about a week before school starts. I get really... weird... I don't really know how to describe it. Last year, I had a horrible time sleeping. This year, I can't relax. Like, it feels like everything is gonna get me or something. I should probably elaborate.

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