Today sucks. Today sucks big, fat, hairy, green monkey balls. I had three consecutive hours of pure fail that are solid proof that the universe is out to get me.
1. We all know that as much as French Class Girl annoys me, it wouldn't be French class without her, right? Yeah, well, she threw another fit and found a loophole in the requirements. Yes, our FCG was smart enough to do that. Crazy, right? I don't even know what exactly she did. It had something to do with the college she wants to go to. She will be changing her schedule within the next few days. Oh, how I hate that Skankbucket.
I hate her so much right now. She is really going to leave me in there with BORING PEOPLE! Not only will French class be boring, but I also seriously think... No, that's crazy. I can't think such a thing! But... Ugh, I think I miss her. Terribly, even! Oh, how gross! How can I do such a thing!?
When one of my friends told me that it was possible to take Chemistry in 10th, 11th, or 12th grade, depending on the grades you make and if you are in Honors classes, I had a feeling those evil, evil school people would do this to me. I just didn't want to mention it in case it came true... IT DID. I am SO FULL OF RAGE RIGHT NOW. Guess who I have in my freaking chemistry class? Well, Crazy Teeth Girl's boyfriend is there, but that's not what I'm raging about. I am raging about French Class Girl's cousin. Yes, the one I had a crush on in like, 6th grade. This is not happening. Oh, my god. This can't be happening. Why must they torture me so? I am not sitting by her, but... I have to see her every day and be reminded of my embarrassing 12-year-old self. Eww! Oh, god, what if the teacher makes us get in the same lab group or something for a project? NO! NO! NO! NO! I will throw a French Class Girl-esque fit.
Something epic just happened. There's this guy in the grade below me who is one of my better friends at school. He's the one who called French Class Girl hot once. I apparently made him want to take French, so he studied the language a little and knows some basic stuff. This year, he signed up for the actual class, but he was the only one who did, and they can't have a class with just one student, now can they? So, the French teacher made him an offer... Join French 2. Yes, that's right. French 2. With yours truly and Irritating Girl and some semi-normal chick and possibly the world famous FCG if she stops being a skankbucket and realizes she should take it. This, of course, ended up with me jumping up and down yelling, "TAKE FRENCH! AHAHA YES!"
Sister: Hmmph. I hate Granny.
Me: Why? What's your problem?
Sister: She DIDN'T GET ME MCDONALDS!
Me: Well, you aren't supposed to eat McDonalds stuff often. It's bad for you. There are lots of things here to eat.
Sister: HMMPH! ((spits and slaps me really freaking hard)) McDonalds does NOT make you FAT!
Fine. If she's so sure it doesn't, then she should eat McDonalds every day and see what she weighs by the time she's my age. Insolent little brat. My arm was red for like, 10 minutes. Damn. She might only be 7 years old, but she's huge. Definitely packs a punch.
She meant wavy but decided that the word "lumpy" was a good synonym.
I was going to post something depressing, but who wants to read all of my whiny shit when you can read about French Class Girl's latest attempt at getting girls? She is joining the school soccer team! Oh, yes, it's true. She said that their first game is coming up soon. She hasn't ever, ever mentioned playing soccer before, so I must wonder if she actually knows how to play or if she just wants access to the locker room. Going by what I know of FCG, it's probably the latter. Oh, FCG... Tell me if it works. >:D
Last night, I had this dream where I went back in time, and the only way I could get back to the present was to throw pieces of magical paper down some holes in a building, which lit up crazy colors. Benjamin Franklin was there, and for some reason, so was Ke$ha. Oh, and then the Grammatically Challenged Girl appeared and gave me some words of, um, "wisdom," but I forgot what exactly she said. She sounded kind of like an old man, I think. I can't help but wonder why the hell she was in the 1700s or what Ke$ha had to do with anything or, really, why any of that even happened... Why can't I have normal person dreams?
That's not what I want to talk about, though. I want to talk about this strange phenomenon I experience every year about a week before school starts. I get really... weird... I don't really know how to describe it. Last year, I had a horrible time sleeping. This year, I can't relax. Like, it feels like everything is gonna get me or something. I should probably elaborate.
I've always wanted to ask you all this: What do you think French Class Girl looks like? If you know, don't tell anyone. x) I want to see if anyone answers.
So... Summer is ending. This depresses me horribly. There is one good thing, though. School doesn't start on a Friday this year! For some reason, it used to always start on a freaking Friday, which everyone hated, but now it doesn't! Ahaha! YES! It's the 2nd week of August, though... Ugh, too soon.
So, I totally didn't have an eventful week. Nope. All I did was frolic in a kitten wonderland, find a bunch of old drawings full of embarrassing memories, and unintentionally meet the Grammatically Challenged Girl's mother. Yeah, I didn't really do anything that interesting... Oh, don't worry, that last one won't sound nearly as creepy when I explain. I'm sure you're probably thinking "What the hell!?" but trust me, it's not bad. Haha.
My internet was broken all day, so I called tech support. The lady who helped me had a Swedish-sounding accent. Also, I think my grandma saw my embarrassing internet history. Lovely. Fortunately, her vision sucks, so she may not have seen everything. She didn't say anything, at least, so maybe she didn't see it. I'm pretty sure most grandmothers would definitely react to seeing a website called "Fuck Yeah Lipstick Lesbians" in their granddaughter's internet history.
I'm not sure if I should start this post out with who I saw in Walmart today or if I should start it out with a depressing rant about old people homes. I think instead I'll rant about how I was woken up this morning, then talk about Walmart and the old people home.
My dad's girlfriend's bad children are coming over. :( I hate it when they come over! SHIT! They're here now! Noooo! They're so loud and irritating. They're already screeching like monkeys being disemboweled, and they haven't even been here for 30 seconds.
My mom is just... afkdsfs. I needed a ride to go see my friends yesterday, so I had to ask her. On the way, she whined about money problems. "When you graduate, your dad is going to stop letting me borrow money," she said. So I suggested the sensible solution. Get a job before then. I mean, I'm only going into sophomore year; she still has some time.
"But that's TOO HARD! I go to school for soooo long every day. If I got a job, how would I do my homework?"
She goes to college until like, lunch time each day. :| She would have one day where she had to stay later last semester, and it was only until 2. Also, maybe she would save money if she stopped going on roadtrips every 3.543 seconds, buying everything she sees, and running up her phone bill to obscene amounts. Oh, and she never does her homework until either super late at night or before she leaves the next morning. That's why she failed one of her classes last semester.
School is approaching way too quickly... It starts in a month for me. I am currently trying to cram in my assigned summer reading books, but right now, my brain just isn't feeling much like Shakespeare. Or anything else school-related, really.
I don't want to think about the ill-fitting uniforms or having to get up stupidly early or the fact that, according to everyone from school who is older than me, I am going to have all of the strictest and bitchiest teachers. I heard from one of my friends that my new history teacher has made many, many people, even huge, tough guys, cry because she is just that damned mean. Lovely.
I hate it when my mom tries to make me come home by saying she's changed. She's still all crazy super fundie Christian. She says that even if she becomes a preacher or something (NO.) she "still won't ever hate gays." This totally explains the unliking of the pro-gay facebook pages, right? :| Ugh, I don't understand her.
So, I was at the grocery store with my sister, my dad, and his girlfriend. We were buying supplies for a cookout tomorrow to celebrate July 4. We were in the meat department, minding our own business, when one of the last people I ever want to see came down one of the adjacent aisles and walked past us.