At the risk of sounding like a stereotypically dramatic teenage girl, I really cannot stand my "best friend" at the moment. She's been pissing me off a lot this schoolyear, but what she did last week is the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak. She made me do our entire two-person project all by myself because she was sick the week before last and never bothered to contact me regarding the project, which she knew all about, then skipped school almost all last week to avoid responsibility. She was fine the weekend of the 3rd, but avoided school almost every day last week anyway. I asked her to please show up on the day the project was due so she could at least help me present it, but she said no quite rudely and, of course, failed to show up. At least now everyone else who is in the class also thinks she is an ultrabitch too. Hmm, Ultrabitch is a good nickname for her for the sake of this post. Yes.
But she treats me like shit most of the time. She's mean to my other friend too, who has joined me in avoiding her. She yells at anyone who disagrees with her about anything and says they are stupid. She has this obsession with hating the "stupid," but the more I think about it, the more I don't understand.
Long time no post, eh, Oasis? The past week or so has been pretty good to me, even though this week sucks because I have something huge due in every class except for calculus. (Funny thing about calculus, you know. I think maybe I like it! In calculus, I'm surrounded by my friends and some cute girls, and I made A- on the last two tests! I haven't made two consecutive A's on math tests since elementary school!)
Sometimes you just have to enjoy the little things, like meeting up with an old friend you haven't seen in over a year, or the feeling of accomplishment you get when you turn in your first college application before the deadline, or the fact that you totally stuck your face in a cute girl's boobs at the Halloween party. Yeah, I'm pretty proud of that last one, even though it wasn't exactly intentional. The story, which I'll get to in a minute, is a little less awesome in context, but hey, I'll take it!
Remember when I was having good luck? It came back, I think. I've had a freakin' amazing past couple of days, minus the incident in which I found out I might be kinda claustrophobic... That was not fun. But a teacher I don't particularly like had somewhere to go so we didn't have to deal with her for a day, I did not have to take my sister to school all week so I got my extra hour of sleep every day, and a quiz in my least favorite class got cancelled.
But that's even not the real awesomeness here. The real awesomeness? Two words: HOT GIRLS. After this school meeting thing earlier this week, I got to go out to dinner with one. Yep. Except, of course, it wasn't a date (Can't be that lucky yet!) and other people were there too, haha. But hey, I'll take it! That is definitely not something that usually happens to me.
My good luck has run out... At first, I thought it was lucky that I got to take a test later than everyone else since I missed review day, but then I had to take it in the back of the room while class was going on. I couldn't concentrate since the teacher has a screechy voice, and I made a fucking 76 and it's a dual enrollment class. I'm so mad. I also made a bad grade on another test, but the teacher is really scatterbrained and graded a lot of questions totally wrong, so it should be like a C+ or B- now. I guess that's not too bad.
Gotta love the Instant Title Generator.
I can't deal with there not being any hot, eligible girls around. Well, I mean, I've tolerated it for years, but I just can't anymore because I know that by this time next year, there will FINALLY be some because I won't live here anymore. (I tend to feel that way about a lot of things now, really. This town/region is even more depressing now that I just have to hold on a little longer. The things at school that would normally be minor annoyances are totally rage-inducing now that I'm a senior. That kind of thing, I guess.) But, like, this has gotten really bad! I think I've gone temporarily insane because tons of girls I'd usually consider average-to-decent-looking are now totally super hot, and it's causing problems. My thoughts often surprise me, and I find myself wondering, "Wow, why am I such an animal?" like 398353 times a day.
And I'm doing some of the dumbest shit. I'm SUCH an idiot. Like, so, I've always kinda had a thing for cheerleaders, but now it's all like OH MY GOD CHEERLEADERS, and I find myself doing absolutely anything they ask me to. For example, recently one asked me to help her finish some work, and I automatically said yes even though it was in the middle of a class and I'm supposed to actually be trying to get good grades...
The universe is kicking my ass right now... People are difficult creatures to deal with, as usual, and I'm worrying about this stupid Common App essay, and there's just bad shit.
I had a pretty good week at school last week, but this week isn't going so well so far. I know it's not that far into the week yet, but my dad told me this weekend that my grandpa has cancer in his throat. Understandably, things kind of went downhill for me after that. I think it was near his tonsils, but apparently removing the tonsils won't get it away completely, so he has to have chemo too. Fortunately, it was caught fairly quickly, but I'm worried because, quite frankly, he is old. He's 67, so it's not like he's in the best shape of his life to begin with. Why my grandpa, though? He is such a good, nice old man.
So, it just occurred to me how horribly socially inept I am. Like, oh my god, it's the most embarrassing thing ever. I can think of so many horribly awkward things I've done in the past week or so, and wow, I just want to crawl in a ditch. I have made a complete list of these recent failures below.
Oh, random title generator. I don't even know.
So, weird week. I just took the ACT again, and I really need to make a 30. I need this 30. I know a guy who already has a 30, and it would be downright shameful for me to end up with a lower score than this particular guy. On Friday, there was also a calculus test, and I'm really worried about the outcome of that since everyone messed up so badly the last time. Too many tests... And I registered for the SAT too, so in October there will be even more! Ugh, so tired of tests.
Recently, I bought myself an ACT math and science workbook. I have studied that thing for a total of at least 10 hours, and I really, honestly believe it has paid off. I only blindly guessed on a handful of math questions today instead of about half of them like last time! Science was kind of hard in some parts, and in other parts it wasn't bad at all, especially after having that book.
I'm sick. Ugh, nothing is more annoying than not being able to breathe through your nose. Nothing. I feel disgusting, but I have to go to school tomorrow no matter what because I have 3 dual enrollment classes, and you only get like 2 absences per class until you fail automatically without, like, a doctor's excuse or something. I need to save those for if I feel like just taking a day off.
Do any of you ever accidentally make yourself sad? I've been doing that a lot lately, and I'm not really sure how or why. Like, I was driving to school, and then suddenly I started thinking about dumb things I did a long time ago, or things that used to upset me, and then all of a sudden I was just sad. That happens a lot lately. Why do I do that? Does that even make any sense?
So, anyway, some school bullshit is below.
The novelty of being a senior has worn off. I don't want to go to school another 170-something days now.
People suck soooo much. The main instance of this is my government class. Oh, my stupid fucking government class! They provoke the teacher by constantly interrupting her and drawing gross pictures, and then they wonder why she's such a bitch. I don't have any friends in government class. I have some people in there who I think are okay, though. Like, there's this one hot girl in there, for example. Also, Friday she was going on and on about how this other hot girl was super hot. Sadly, she is not gay, but merely appreciative of hotness... But it was still super awesome because that's like taboo in this super lame town, so I never get to hear hot girls say stuff like that.
You know when you think your door is closed, so you put on a song really loud and dance spastically around your room, lip syncing dramatically and playing air guitar and basically just looking completely fucking insane? It turns out my door wasn't closed. My mom saw the whole thing. I have never been so embarrassed in all my life. Oh my god. Sure, there are definitely much worse things to have your mom walk in on you doing, but this was still pretty embarrassing, haha.
Hmm, what else have I done? Dealt with assholes at my job who basically told me that I will flunk out of college just because they know a girl who did, moped about how much Wednesday is going to suck, tried to read some more of Heart Of Darkness. (Luckily, the test on it isn't actually on Wednesday, so I still have a little time to finish it.) I guess that's about it.
I hate the people at my job so much it's unbelievable. I have had the WORST experiences with customers this week. It's been worse than the gross old guy from last year who used to go behind the counter and put his arm around me. I am utterly appalled at these people's total lack of tact and social skills. People really think it's okay to act this way... I can't fucking believe it.
So, last night, I was in my car, innocently driving along, when suddenly... FCG! She was there at a stoplight. I am 99.999999% sure it was her. Blonde girl, same battered old red car, dumb expression on what I could see of her face... Yeah, definitely FCG. She didn't see me, and I didn't wave at her because in the past year she's been away, she has gone from being the adorably stupid object of my affections to being an annoying girl who loves to commit the heinous offense that is repeatedly being a complete dumbfuck on the Internet. (Someone should really unplug her computer. There's no way she would ever figure out how to get back online then!)
(Who else missed the Instant Title Generator?)
Recently, I attempted to take a trip to the secondhand store to pick up a Gameboy Advance SP. I fixed one of my old Gameboy games all by myself, and I'm addicted to it. I wanted to play it while lying in bed, but the lighting conditions won't permit that on my Gameboy Color and my 3DS doesn't have the backwards compatibility, so I needed the SP for its backlit screen. Unfortunately, my SP is missing. But I am addicted to this game. I must play it at all times. It even comes to work with me now because I never have anything to do there. I am not even the cashier anymore. I now do inventory stuff and am going to learn the bookkeeping because Crazy Grandma completely ruined it. Really, I just sit in the office and watch Comedy Central until I'm needed... which is almost never. (At least I don't have to deal with many customers anymore.) Anyway, so I need to play this game at all times, and, therefore, I need a new SP. Preferably I would like the shiny pink one, but I am desperate enough that any color will do.
The trip was very, very unpleasant.
So, today I was supposed to take the ACT again, but last night, I had a panic attack and didn't sleep. Like, at all. Not even my usual medicine helped. I lay in bed for literally 5 hours just staring at the ceiling. I don't think I can make a 30 like I wanted on less than 2 hours of sleep... So I didn't go because I felt like shit anyway. I hurt all over and was hearing things. I still have 2 more times I can take it, and plus I also have a chance or two at the SAT in October and possibly November. (I'm digressing a bit here, but holy shit, I'm planning for something in November already!? Wasn't it January yesterday? Also, November = 18th birthday = legal adulthood = oh god help me future is scaryyy.)