So, my mom got the brat child a dog. A dachshund. I don't really like little dogs. One of my mom's exes had the PERFECT dog. He was, like, this giant brown husky/collie mix kinda thing. He was so sweet. I want a dog like that. A huge, fluffy dog. I'm not much of a dog person, but I love certain kinds. Dog smell kind of gets to me, though... So I dunno. The giant dog was precious, though. I would have to keep the dog outside most of the time, I think.
This dog, however, is an asshole. He yaps at everything for hours on end and shits/pisses everywhere in the house but does nothing when you take him outside to do his business. My (outside) kitten is beyond terrified of him. I hate seeing my baby all bristled and scared like that. Also, it sucks how this dog who shits everywhere lives in the house while my kitten isn't even allowed inside. Only one of my cats ever gets to come inside, and that's only sometimes. Apparently it's gross when they shed, but dog shit is totally cool. Get this: He even sleeps in the bed with them. A dog who shits everywhere sleeps with them, but... My cats are gross. Huh. Now, I don't know if it's just because I was totally smitten with FCG, who constantly left long, curly blonde hairs all over everything, or maybe because I myself shed lots of long dark hairs, but I think hair, whether it be from people or animals, is a lot less gross than shit. Just saying.
Not feeling much like a Super Duck lately. I don't want to go anywhere or do anything. I'm just apathetic. I might go somewhere with a friend tomorrow, but I really don't want to... Especially because she's the one who ALWAYS wants to sleep over, and I've just never liked people sleeping over all that much. I don't like for them to see my messed up family in action, and I don't particularly sleep well in other people's houses. I already have a way to get out of that part, though. I feel kind of bad for it, but at the same time, not really, because I don't even want to go anywhere in the first place. I have gotten to the point where I can barely stand leaving my house and looking at the shithole I live in. I can't wait for moving day.
Today at school, some club had its annual bake sale thing. It was delicious. It brought back a memory, though...
I have gotten the most unruly child in the world to listen to me and stop beating the living hell out of me. I have done the impossible. All I have to do is watch TV with her! It makes her happy, and she listens. It is so simple. Why did it take me 9 years to come up with this? But my mom thinks I'm brainwashing the kid because my sister is legitimately convinced two straight characters on this one show are secretly gay. I think maybe my mom is just jealous of my newfound power. I don't know, though, she's said a few troubling things recently. There was the whole "you're making her think everyone is gay" thing, even though I NEVER said anything about it until she mentioned it. She came to this conclusion all by herself. There was that, and there was this one time when my mom was mad that my friend and I wouldn't date. My friend is a gay dude. Our gayness will not cancel each other's out. It's more like... a double rainbow.
So, apparently I don't get to move away this summer.
No... I can't handle it here any longer. I can't. I hate it here so fucking much. I wouldn't wish a day of it on my worst enemy, let alone 18 fucking years of it.
I was so dumb to think that something would actually go my way for once. Hahaha, like that ever happens.
All I wanted was a better place and a fresh start.
Well, that's what I heard, anyway. That is the weirdest thing EVER. I HAD THE BIGGEST CRUSH ON HER LIKE 4 YEARS AGO. Dude, like, how do I even wrap my brain around that!? She is so young, though. She's like 18, or maybe she just turned 19... I'm turning 18 this year, and personally, I wouldn't want to get married at 18. That's just me, though. But oh, wow. Old Crush is getting MARRIED. That is crazyyyy.
So, I'm freaking out. In English class, later this week, we have to write a poem AND read it to the class. I've never really been good at poetry. I can write you a shitty story on anything under the sun, but poetry completely stumps me every time. That isn't even the part I'm scared of, though. I am freaking out over the whole reading it aloud thing.
Even if I don't have a cute relationship, at least I can watch some on TV! I had a good Valentine's Day. Both my parents got me candy because I am forever alone, and a guy in one of my classes gave all the girls candy too. And I was only mad once today due to a bitchy substitute teacher! Only ONCE! That is so rare!
Also, I have five Valentines! Well, uh, three are cats, but two are actual people! And girls, at that! Hahaha, my best friend, Hot Girl, and I all three didn't have Valentines, so we decided to be each others'. Yep, that's right. My best friend... And HOT GIRL. Haha! I am not complaining here, no siree!
I am supposed to be doing some ACT math prep for tomorrow, but I just have to tell you guys about what my history teacher said today. As most of you know, Mrs. History Teacher and I seem to go through phases regarding our opinions on one another. Lately we have been okay. She seems to have gotten over her fear/hatred of atheists, or whatever the hell her problem was.
My sister and her friends seem to get some sick joy out of hurting me. Naturally, nothing is done about it, and if I take matters into my own hands and tell them to stop, I'm a monster who is meeeeeeaaaaan to babies! She acts like this on her own anyway, but it's a hundred times worse with her friends. She beats me up. I'm nearly twice her age, and she beats me up. She is 9 and regularly beats the hell out of a 17-year-old, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it, or else I'm a terrible sociopath who is mean to little children, or some shit like that.
My dad said it looks like I've lost weight! YAAAAYYYY! I am going to be hot when I move this summer. I am determined. I am going to get ALL the pretty girls in Tennessee!!!
Anyway, so, you know Hot Girl, right? Well, she is, like, not even fair! She is always being really hot and saying/doing provocative things and just generally being really fucking hot. Today I got to pretend to hit on her. It is a long, weird story that I really don't feel like sharing right now. It's really not that interesting. I mean, the main point was I got to hit on a hot girl and have it be socially acceptable. And that, my friends, kicks ass.
I can't believe it has been 5 years since I first told someone I'm gay. 5 years is half a decade... That blows my mind. It was 5 years ago tonight, and I really have no idea how I remember that. But yeah, I was only 12. I figured it out really young. 5 years ago, I told my dad I was gay, and in retrospect, I really don't think he believed it. Why the hell should he, though, right? It's not like anyone else does, not even now. You know how many people believe me offline? Three. My mom, one friend, and this total bitch I went to middle school with. I bet you I could hit on a girl all freakin' day and not even have her notice. Ughhh.
It's exhausting sometimes. Okay, so, like, IG has this HOT friend that sits with us at lunch. She is a senior and, like I said, really hot. Anyway, yeah, so today she mentioned how much it frustrates her that her boyfriend is homophobic, and we started discussing it, and IG said she liked gay guys but is a little weirded out by lesbians "but wouldn't say it to one's face and can get used to them." And it's like... Come on, chick. You are supposed to be one of my best friends. What are you doing? Before we were friends, you were constantly on my case about being a lesbian, and now that we ARE friends, am I just magically not one anymore? Or maybe you "got used to" me. Or you forgot... like everyone else. Huh. But still, wow.
Mrs. History Teacher is back to her usual self. I knew I shouldn't have praised her for behaving so well! Today, she went off on one of her infamous tangents, and douchebaggery ensued. Someone mentioned how the student council elections at my school are a fucking joke since they are just a popularity contest. Mrs. History Teacher began to get all philosophical about the idea of popularity and following the crowd and such. She started off with a good point, but as her mouth kept moving, more bullshit was generated.
One was in APUSH and one was in psychology. Well, the APUSH one wasn't much of a discussion, but rather Mrs. History Teacher saying some interesting things. You know, I am not sure if I hate her anymore. I mean, when I had her as a sophomore she was totally awful to me, but I think she has warmed up to me a little and is way less irritating. Maybe? She doesn't insult me anymore for being an atheist.
Today, a guy in my psychology class said that he wants to someday become the next Hugh Hefner. This sounds like the most beautiful job EVER. I mean, what does Hugh Hefner do except hook up with hot chicks all day, right? Of course I want a job like his!
So... Here's my plan.
Would you Oasisians like to see a very nice thing? Of course you would. Watch this video. That is my sexy future wife Amber Heard being sexy on a boat and then on an island. And did I mention she is sexy? Sorry if you like what you see, but we are getting married as soon as she finds out I'm her biggest fan ever in the universe, and we are going to move to Sweden and rule over Sweden together with our pet unicorn! Some dude is also there. I didn't really pay attention to him, but I guess some of you guys might like him. The video is a little NSFW at some parts, just so you know. It like randomly shows the dude's ass... Oh, and the song's stuck in my head, so it would be totally awesome if any of you somehow happened to know what song is playing. I would google it, but I can't figure out any lyrics. AND DID I MENTION THAT THIS VIDEO CONTAINS THE SEXIEST GIRL EVER?
Anyway, sorry, I just get excited over new Amber Heard things. Hahaha. So, let me tell you about my new psychology class.