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Happy Valentine's Day, Oasis!

Even if I don't have a cute relationship, at least I can watch some on TV! I had a good Valentine's Day. Both my parents got me candy because I am forever alone, and a guy in one of my classes gave all the girls candy too. And I was only mad once today due to a bitchy substitute teacher! Only ONCE! That is so rare!

Also, I have five Valentines! Well, uh, three are cats, but two are actual people! And girls, at that! Hahaha, my best friend, Hot Girl, and I all three didn't have Valentines, so we decided to be each others'. Yep, that's right. My best friend... And HOT GIRL. Haha! I am not complaining here, no siree! 

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She wasn't intentionally being mean, but I think I still have a right to be totally fucking pissed.

I am supposed to be doing some ACT math prep for tomorrow, but I just have to tell you guys about what my history teacher said today. As most of you know, Mrs. History Teacher and I seem to go through phases regarding our opinions on one another. Lately we have been okay. She seems to have gotten over her fear/hatred of atheists, or whatever the hell her problem was.

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Anger and hypochondria and hot girls, oh my!

 My sister and her friends seem to get some sick joy out of hurting me. Naturally, nothing is done about it, and if I take matters into my own hands and tell them to stop, I'm a monster who is meeeeeeaaaaan to babies! She acts like this on her own anyway, but it's a hundred times worse with her friends. She beats me up. I'm nearly twice her age, and she beats me up. She is 9 and regularly beats the hell out of a 17-year-old, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it, or else I'm a terrible sociopath who is mean to little children, or some shit like that. 

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My dad said it looks like I've lost weight! YAAAAYYYY! I am going to be hot when I move this summer. I am determined. I am going to get ALL the pretty girls in Tennessee!!!

Anyway, so, you know Hot Girl, right? Well, she is, like, not even fair! She is always being really hot and saying/doing provocative things and just generally being really fucking hot. Today I got to pretend to hit on her. It is a long, weird story that I really don't feel like sharing right now. It's really not that interesting. I mean, the main point was I got to hit on a hot girl and have it be socially acceptable. And that, my friends, kicks ass.

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5 Years

I can't believe it has been 5 years since I first told someone I'm gay. 5 years is half a decade... That blows my mind. It was 5 years ago tonight, and I really have no idea how I remember that. But yeah, I was only 12. I figured it out really young. 5 years ago, I told my dad I was gay, and in retrospect, I really don't think he believed it. Why the hell should he, though, right? It's not like anyone else does, not even now. You know how many people believe me offline? Three. My mom, one friend, and this total bitch I went to middle school with. I bet you I could hit on a girl all freakin' day and not even have her notice. Ughhh.

It's exhausting sometimes. Okay, so, like, IG has this HOT friend that sits with us at lunch. She is a senior and, like I said, really hot. Anyway, yeah, so today she mentioned how much it frustrates her that her boyfriend is homophobic, and we started discussing it, and IG said she liked gay guys but is a little weirded out by lesbians "but wouldn't say it to one's face and can get used to them." And it's like... Come on, chick. You are supposed to be one of my best friends. What are you doing? Before we were friends, you were constantly on my case about being a lesbian, and now that we ARE friends, am I just magically not one anymore? Or maybe you "got used to" me. Or you forgot... like everyone else. Huh. But still, wow.

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Mrs. History Teacher is back to her usual self. I knew I shouldn't have praised her for behaving so well! Today, she went off on one of her infamous tangents, and douchebaggery ensued. Someone mentioned how the student council elections at my school are a fucking joke since they are just a popularity contest. Mrs. History Teacher began to get all philosophical about  the idea of popularity and following the crowd and such. She started off with a good point, but as her mouth kept moving, more bullshit was generated.

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There were two very interesting discussions at school today.

One was in APUSH and one was in psychology. Well, the APUSH one wasn't much of a discussion, but rather Mrs. History Teacher saying some interesting things. You know, I am not sure if I hate her anymore. I mean, when I had her as a sophomore she was totally awful to me, but I think she has warmed up to me a little and is way less irritating. Maybe? She doesn't insult me anymore for being an atheist. 

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My Career Aspirations

Today, a guy in my psychology class said that he wants to someday become the next Hugh Hefner. This sounds like the most beautiful job EVER. I mean, what does Hugh Hefner do except hook up with hot chicks all day, right? Of course I want a job like his!

So... Here's my plan.

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Cows Can Save the Universe

Would you Oasisians like to see a very nice thing? Of course you would. Watch this video. That is my sexy future wife Amber Heard being sexy on a boat and then on an island. And did I mention she is sexy? Sorry if you like what you see, but we are getting married as soon as she finds out I'm her biggest fan ever in the universe, and we are going to move to Sweden and rule over Sweden together with our pet unicorn! Some dude is also there. I didn't really pay attention to him, but I guess some of you guys might like him. The video is a little NSFW at some parts, just so you know. It like randomly shows the dude's ass... Oh, and the song's stuck in my head, so it would be totally awesome if any of you somehow happened to know what song is playing. I would google it, but I can't figure out any lyrics. AND DID I MENTION THAT THIS VIDEO CONTAINS THE SEXIEST GIRL EVER?

Anyway, sorry, I just get excited over new Amber Heard things. Hahaha. So, let me tell you about my new psychology class.

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Good Shit and Bad Shit

So, I unfortunately had to go back to school today. I hate that place so much you just wouldn't believe. I just... Ugh, I can't even think about it.

Anyway, some good shit has happened. I made a 27 on the ACT. 32 in English, 33 in reading, and, uhhhh... 21 in math and science. Yeahhhh. I think it is clear how my brain is wired. 27 is awesome, though, since it was my first time ever to take it. And my mom is ACTUALLY proud of me. Wow.

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Christmas and other things.

Hahaha, my mom just freaked out because I saw the names of the porn channels. Umm, mom, do you honestly believe I have never seen the stuff? Clearly you have never been young and frustrated. Hell, in this state I am old enough to go out and actually have sex!

Anyway, Christmas was amazing. I didn't ask for anything this year, so my parents got me an iPad 2. (I guess they are trying to make up for me having to buy almost all of my own birthday presents?) I am typing on that right now. It is pretty awesome, and it is faster than my laptop. As I may have mentioned, I have my dad's discarded laptop now since mine broke several months ago. It is a few years old. I got some other great stuff too, like flavored coffees and a stuffed panda and some stuff I need for my new room in my mom's boyfriend's house when I move to Tennessee either this coming year or the next. Most of it is like awesome wall decorations.

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So, it's almost Christmas...

And that can mean only one thing. It is time for my favorite Christmas song. I posted this last year too, but it must become a tradition! I couldn't find it on Youtube for some reason, so have this low-quality Dailymotion one instead.

Inga from Sweden - Inga's XXXmas by Warner-Music

No, I don't have anything intelligent to share with you guys. Nothing has happened today, really. In short, my family annoyed the shit out of me today, I'm trying to lose 10 pounds but blew my diet today with Oreo Christmas candies, and I did some annoying fangirl stuff. So... Enjoy the video!

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Attention span? What's that?

More insane grandma updates! She tried to destroy my dad's relationship with his girlfriend. Yeah, she told her that she thought my dad was going to fuck my mom again or something horrible like that. Either Granny is mad because my dad yelled at her for calling me a bitch, or she doesn't want him to get re-married and move into his own house. Granny is also trying to act like Saturday never happened. She keeps calling my house and occasionally my phone, but I never answer it. I refuse.

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NEVER dissolve big pills in Dr. Pepper.

Seriously, don't. It is the worst taste EVER. I can't swallow a whole generic brand Allegra, and I didn't have a knife to cut it, so I dissolved it and YUCK! This post starts out pretty serious, and then it just kind of... devolves. Hahaha.

We changed the locks yesterday, so now Granny can't get in here. It's so hard to relax. I mean, I've always had a bit of a paranoid personality, but I don't feel safe anywhere. Every noise is Granny coming to get me. My mom came to my school today and told the administration what happened, so they will kick her off the school grounds if she ever shows up there... She also told the elementary school to never let Granny pick my sister up after school. Coming home from school today, I passed my grandpa in his truck with what appeared to be Granny in the front seat. I can only hope he was taking her to the mental health hospital where she belongs.

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What. The. Actual. FUCK?

This journal contains some REALLY heavy stuff, just so you know. Like, it is probably the most awful journal I have ever written here. I was going to post about the ACT, but I got into the biggest fight of my life after I got home. I think that's a little more interesting.

I called my grandma for some cold medicine because I feel a cold coming on. She brought some to my house and began nagging me about Christmas presents. I already told her what I want last week, but she started to get angry because I only wanted 5 or so things.

Me: But Granny, if it's such a big deal, why not just give me some money?
Granny: Because that's bad!
Me: But there's not much I want.
Granny: You're so SELFISH! Why don't you ever think of how I feel when you only want a few presents?
Me: ...What? How does that even make sense?

She then said she was going to go buy a shitload of things she knew I wouldn't want, just so she could feel good about herself. I got frustrated and said, "Well, don't waste your fucking money on me, then, if I make you so mad." Things began to escalate, and she started screaming and calling me names like "crazy bitch" and "little hussy" and "SELFISH!!!" I think it's pretty ironic how NOT wanting stuff makes me "selfish."

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