So, today for most of the day, I was like this:
I didn't do much today. I lounged around alone in the house wearing my pajamas all day, as my mom and sister were out shopping at my most hated store of all time. MOTHERFUCKIN' BIG LOTS. It's like Walmart, only smaller and crappier, although it does have a good snack selection. There used to be one in my town, and my mom dragged me in there every day. I even threw up in the parking lot once... When I was maybe 9 or 10, it finally closed and was bulldozed down to make room for a Walgreens. I had never been so happy in my life.
I am very tired, so this probably will make little sense. I am now officially allowed to be mostly nocturnal for the next 3 months of my life. Everything is amazing. Except I had to get up earlyish today, so I'm already tired at 3 a.m.
I need to talk to FCG soon, but she is, unfortunately, not nocturnal, and I am scared to bother her while she is at work, because I'm not entirely sure what she does or how busy she is. I'm afraid I may be slipping into lameness... No, we cannot have this. No lame. There is no reason to be lame; this is FCG, who hugs me and asks me to touch her hair. I still hate myself for Thursday. I'm going to keep repeating "No lame," and maybe it will become true. No lame, no lame, no lame, no lame. I am also craving cheese puffs, but my sister put her nasty hands in them, so no cheese puffs. Oh, and I have to pee really badly, but my toilet is somehow broken (hello, sister who uses my bathroom without telling me and manages to use up half a roll of toilet paper in one go) so I have to walk down the hall. Bleh.
SOOO GUESS WHO ACTUALLY PASSED CHEMISTRY DESPITE BARELY EVEN STUDYING FOR THE FINAL? I did! Me! Hell yeah! Hahaha! And I even somehow did well on the final too! I made a 90 on my final, which I was so convinced I'd fail.
Tonight I am whiny. This is quite possibly the dumbest series of things I have ever been upset about, but I am on my period, so I can be upset about stupid shit. Today hasn't been very good... My kitty destroyed my headphones, there were too many angry bees for me to go enjoy the outdoors like I wanted to this afternoon so I feel fat, and I am about to make literally like a 12 on my chemistry final tomorrow. I don't think I am even going to study anymore. I don't know anything tonight, and I won't know anything at 8 a.m. tomorrow either.
My sister had her dance recital thing tonight. I was reluctantly dragged along, but then I found out it was all ages, so my friend British Girl was in it. I was less reluctant then. The thing itself was good. The cute shy girl I sat by in economics class was in it too. She drives the same kind of car as me, except in yellow, so she is automatically awesome. She had a solo part in it, and it was pretty good, but even if she was bad, then she still would've been good simply for driving an awesome car. In the little kids' group, there was one little boy, the only boy in the entire thing, and he was maybe 5 years old or so. He was so cute with his shiny silver shirt and his white suit. Hahaha. I don't even like little kids, but damn, cutest kid ever.
So, anyway, I was fine until it was time to leave. That was when I got the icing on my shitcake. I was going to go see my friends Helpful Junior and Newspaper Girl, as I had spotted them in the audience, but I was blocked in my seat... I couldn't even get out to go congratulate British Girl or the girl from economics class. This irritated me. Then, I made a huge mistake. I turned around. When I did that, I saw something that made me absolutely HAVE to leave my seat, but I couldn't get out, which left me majorly frustrated. To put something so desired and wonderful just a few feet away from me and NOT allow me to get to it! Universe, why are you so mean?
So, I am officially a mega-bitch now, according to my mom. We'll get to that in a minute. I have no school until Friday, which is good. Friday is my last day. I am so glad. I need a break.
I don't really care about my mega-bitch status at the moment because I have an eye infection. This is really nasty, so feel free to skip this paragraph. It thankfully waited until Saturday to show up, and it became unbearable Monday night. My eye was sore and a little swollen, and suddenly a little white thing popped up where my eyelashes are. I didn't touch it, but it disappeared later and left this vomit-tastic gunk in its place. I felt much better yesterday, but I went to the doctor anyway, and I got antibiotics. I always hate going to the doctor because I am a slight germophobe and am disgusted at the idea of sitting and waiting in a room full of contagious people. I mean, no one can get my eye infection unless they're dumb enough to come up to me and touch my eye. (And what idiot touches a random girl's nasty infected eye?) But people can get other diseases by being around sick people who are coughing and stuff...
Had a dream involving FCG a few days ago. The parts with her in them were only slightly weird, but the rest of the dream made no sense at all. Most of my dreams don't. It's been a while since I've had a dream I could remember, actually.
Went to FCG's graduation. A nice girl from my history class saved me a seat; she had to be there early for her sister. It was me and her and IG and another girl from my French class. Even though we were 45 minutes early, it was STILL crowded and a gigantic clusterfuck! The girl from history class said that the three of us were allowed to go find FCG and see her if we wanted to, so we set out on an epic quest to find her!
Our quest was made easy for us when we spotted her walking down the hall to go finish putting makeup on in the bathroom.
FCG: Yay, it's my French class people!
She hugged us. I was admittedly a little jealous that IG was first, but then I was second, so it was okay, because who can feel bad when you're hugging someone super amazing? FCG hugs are the best ever. <3 (And besides, like little kids always say, first is the worst and second is the best!)
Today was AWESOME because my mom didn't make me go to school. Instead, we went to the greatest restaurant ever. And we got cupcakes too. We did, unfortunately, have to go to Walmart, but that wasn't too terrible, I suppose. I also found out that I am getting a brand new laptop because my old one was too expensive to justify fixing since it's so old. Oh, and there was one other thing I'll get to in a moment.
I didn't have to go to school because I have about 4 days left, and I wasn't going to do much at school anyway. I think I've mentioned how you don't have to take the spring finals at my school if you have an A in the class. That means the only work I'd be doing at school right now is chemistry. There would be little to no point in me going to any of my other classes. I have the rest of this week and possibly Monday, then one hour on Tuesday for the review and one hour Friday for the test.
So, yes, the greatest restaurant ever. It's this tiny little restaurant in the back of a shop, and it's only open for lunch. There are maybe 3 people that work there, and one lady does all of the cooking. But everything there is amazing, even foods I don't normally like. I honestly bet she could take the nastiest food you can imagine and make it kick ass. I want an entire bathtub full of that place's chicken salad. Not even kidding.
AND CUPCAKES! There's a cupcake shop a few minutes away from the greatest restaurant ever. And those cupcakes are super amazing. I had a mint chocolate chip one today. They have new flavors each day of the week, and pretty much all of them are awesome.
I'm sure you want to know what the other thing I did today was.
I have a chemistry test tomorrow. Half of the class is gone. What is the point of this? You know what? Fuck chemistry. In fact, I drew Hitler on my chemistry notes today, because that is what I think of chemistry. I think he secretly invented it, or at least wrote my textbook. Also, not counting today, I haven't been to chemistry since last Wednesday. I'm not even sure what we're doing right now. And apparently, a BUNCH of shit was covered on Friday while a large portion of the class was at the AP test.
And in history, although we have ONE WEEK left of school, we are starting on AP American History. :| What? Please tell me this is some sort of sick joke.
I want to just be all like, "Fuck you guys. This is crap, and I'm going home!" but then they'd get all pissy...
So, yeah, basically I am currently going through a time of terrible lameness in basically every aspect of my life. I hate to bother you guys with this, but I just need to write this somewhere. I had this unsettling dream last night, and it's making me even lamer.
Hey... I don't really have a story to share anymore, so my updates probably won't be as frequent. Just letting you guys know in case you wonder where the daily posts went. Don't worry, I'm definitely not leaving or anything. I just don't have a reason to update every single day now.
I'm posting today, though, because of the AP exam and what I did before it. This is probably uninteresting and annoying, but I still feel the need to write it. On the day of the AP exam, you aren't required to come to school until it's time for the test. But I came to school an hour early. I came to school early because the school does this thing every year in which they make the seniors come back and dress up really nicely and recieve their awards/scholarships/etc. at an assembly for everyone to come see. They go in alphabetical order and make the seniors all walk up on the stage and it is announced what college they're going to and if they got scholarships and such. It's normally quite boring, but I dragged my currently zombie-like ass to the thing in support of FCG.
I felt so awkward because the AP people were supposed to stand at the back so we could leave for the test without causing any disruption. I was alone at first, but soon, IG, another girl from my history class, and some juniors I'm friends with appeared too after they finished their AP American History test. I still felt pretty creep-tastic for standing in the back, though.
Today was the day. Things were agonizingly slow until chemistry class today, as if to purposely torture me. In chemistry, I checked out Old Crush's fantastic body one final time. It didn't make chemistry class any more bearable as it usually does, though. I really just felt nothing. She wrote "good Bye" (Yes, just like that) on the board as she left. I remembered being obsessed with her all those years ago.
Fun fact: When I was like 12 and obsessed with Old Crush, I thought I'd be terribly obsessed with her forever and always thought her last day of high school would be the most depressing thing in the universe for me, even though she was in like 8th grade at the time.
I just kind of zoned out at lunch. Girl Best Friend kept saying I did, anyway. I don't really remember anything. All I felt was anxiety. I barely ate.
I did everything I could to prolong the walk to French class. I went by Mrs. History Teacher's room and picked up some homework she had been too lazy to print off in the morning. I took baby steps. I stopped at my locker. But I couldn't dawdle forever, so I eventually had to make my way into the room.
Mrs. History Teacher is buying us whatever snacks we want to eat during the break we get during the AP Exam. DOES NOT COMPUTE. But it's still good. I am surprised, though. She tells us regularly that she hates us and that we're stupid and useless, but she is willing to buy everyone (yes, even me) the snack they want. I don't understand. Is this her way of apologizing or something?
Hey, do you guys have mosquitoes where you live? They're really bad here, and it seems that an entire legion of them have attacked me. Only one of the bites is easy to scratch. This is not fun. I don't even know how some of them managed to quite literally bite my ass. I have not been outside sans clothing. Hahaha.
I need to study my math, but I can't focus. I sort of know it, I guess. I actually listened in class today. I'll look at it later. But I don't feel like getting up to go get it. It seems almost like if I stop sitting here typing this and listening to music and being all, "OH NO TUESDAY NIGHT" and actually do what I need to do, tomorrow will come faster. And I don't want that. I want to prolong this Tuesday as much as possible, even though it was a little bit of a crappy, boring Tuesday. But hey, I'll take it. I'll take any crappy, boring Tuesday over this dreadful, impending Wednesday.
Yesterday morning, Girl Best Friend texted me to tell me that she finally got a car and that she wanted me to see it. So she came to my house, and we went for a ride in it. It's nice! Except we kind of almost got lost because all the roads out here in Bumblefuck look the same.
So, now that Osama Bin Laden is dead, every redneck on my news feed on facebook is saying he's not dead and that he has really been Obama all along, so this whole thing is a government cover-up. Another one of these gems is that Osama isn't really dead and is plotting to ally with Obama and take over the world and kill white people. The conspiracies that these people come up with are almost hilarious in a sick kinda way.
My sister keeps listening to this shitty band named something like Big Time Rush because she thinks they are hot, and it's irritating me to death. I think I need to buy her some headphones. Or blast good music. Hmm.
So my mom's boyfriend/not-boyfriend/whatever is here. No idea how long he's staying. My mom made me go out to eat with her and all her friends tonight before he got here so she wouldn't have to go alone. Dude, he just played this video for my mom, and a girl was talking on it, and she sounded EXACTLY like me, but it wasn't me. It was freakyyy.
I started studying for the AP exam today. Well, not really. By "started studying," I mean opened a textbook, read one page, and then watched the following video:
So, the moods in this journal are EXTREMELY varied. I'm just all over the place right now, and it may or may not make any sense. I can't even sit still right now. Just a warning.
I am extremely sensitive to noises. My mom eats so loudly. Earlier, she was sitting on the couch, disgustingly smacking her salad, and I thought I was going to lose it, even with headphones in and music turned up loud. She is also a SUPER slow eater, which makes matters so much worse. She and my sister both eat that way. Certain noises really get to me for some reason. I also can't be near vacuum cleaners, my sister when she slurps soda out of a can, IG when she tries (and fails) to whistle, or people who enjoy sucking their snot back up into their nose.
It's usually not anywhere near this bad, but I'm at my breaking point right now, so everything is upsetting me. I wanted to scream and lash out at Mrs. History Teacher today because she's giving us work for a grade tomorrow on stuff she says she knows we haven't covered, but we can't look the info up anywhere. I'm sorry, but what the fuck? What the fuck is that? What does she even expect us to do? Pull the info out of our asses?
So, tomorrow, we have this gross thing called Field Day. It's basically like gym class, except it lasts two hours. No one really likes it except the jock guys, who proclaim it serious business and take out any fun that could possibly be had anyway. Each grade is pitted against the others, which is annoying because a lot of my friends are in other grades, and I can't get near them to talk to them while Field Day is going on. We are, however, permitted to wear shorts to school tomorrow, which could potentially make for some good eye candy...
I often skip Field Day, but I'm not sure if we're having classes before Field Day, and I need to see FCG if we do. Sometimes we only have the ones before lunch, which would suck horribly because my class with FCG is directly after lunch while the one I hate with a passion and often leave close to tears from is directly before lunch. Sometimes we do short classes and have them all. We usually did the former in middle school except one year, but I can't remember what we did last year. (Also, my mom is letting me save my 3 free absences for the hellish week after the AP Exam. I told her there was no reason for me to ever, ever go back after next Wednesday, but sadly, you get 3 free absences per quarter, not 1235645241, so I can't do that.)
So, I had to go by my mom's friend's house, and on the way home, I passed by IG's boyfriend. He was out walking and carrying his skateboard. It was awkward because we know each other because of IG but don't really talk. I was at a stop sign, so I was kinda stuck. Haha. Don't you just hate that awkward eye contact you make when you see someone you kind of know but aren't really friends with, and neither person is really sure if they should wave or not?
Mr. Troll the economics teacher, while usually irritating, is the one of the only useful people at school right now. Today, he said that the seniors in our class had to go ahead and take their test soon because next Wednesday is their last day to get grades and stuff. Finally, Mr. Troll serves a purpose! So, I guess I have a couple extra days with FCG, then. This is good, but it also means I have a couple of extra days (plus an entire extra weekend) to dread Wednesday. I just can't stop thinking about how much it's gonna suck when my FCG leaves. :'( If Mr. Troll is right, then I have 6 more days with her now instead of 3. Everything is such a huge clusterfuck. I wish they'd just make a clear announcement stating when the seniors' last day is so I can adjust my level of panic accordingly. Of course, with my luck, he could be trollin' again, and it's not next Wednesday. He would so totally do that if he knew how much I have to have this information.