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My cat hates me.

Seriously, he bites me every time I go to check on his flea status. He has fleas, and I am TRYING to help the adorable little bastard, but he won't let me!

I don't feel very good today. I was dragged to my grandma's 4th of July lunch thing. My dad's girlfriend's wild children were there. The older one has gotten a little better, but the younger one is still a hellion. She was running around screaming and beating things with a water bottle. Glove Man randomly showed up, and he was pleasant for a while, but then he made me feel very bad, so I left. He didn't mean to... I think he was actually trying to make me feel better, but it kind of had the opposite effect.

Glove Man: Super Duck, isn't school starting soon for you?
Me: Well, I still have like a month... But yeah.
Glove Man: Will you be a junior or a senior?
Me: I'm gonna be a junior.
Glove Man: Well, just so you know, junior year is the worst ever.

How comforting.

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I'm a hoodie ninja.

You're welcome.

So, this old guy at work today was amazing. He was just a normal old guy, minding his own business, and then his phone rang. But... His ringtone. Oh, holy shit, his ring tone. What was it, you ask? FUCKIN' "WILD THING" BY TONE LOC! Hahaha! "I LIKE TO DO THE WILD THAAAANG~" It was truly glorious.

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Lamps Can Save the Universe

Whenever I see a hot girl somewhere, her boyfriend usually appears within minutes. Why, universe? Why!?

Well, except the hot hostess/greeter/whatever girl at the restaurant I went to tonight. No boyfriend magically appeared then, but I doubt she was gay... Hahaha. They never are. :( It's starting to feel like almost every hot girl ever is straight! UGH! She looked familiar; I think she was friends with the last girl I liked.

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Things I Hate About My Job + stupid shit

Not everything about it is bad. I mean, it's easy as hell, and you're never too old to mentally giggle about the fact that you're selling some little electrical part called a "nylon butt connector," but there are some things that just make me rage!

1.) That Fucking Guy

"That Fucking Guy" is the nickname I've decided to give to this one old dude who comes in almost every day. And most of the time he comes in, right before he leaves, he goes behind the counter, grabs my shoulder, and rubs my back right around my bra strap. I HATE THIS SO MUCH. I can't tell him to fuck off because he's friends with my grandpa.

2.) Everyone's inability to understand me

I have to repeat everything 2 or 3 times for everyone, and I can't really get why. I think I speak pretty clearly... Apparently I'm too fast or some shit. Oh, well, I can't understand any of them, so I guess we're even.

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Deep Philosophical Themes Can Be Used As Blankets

I accidentally texted FCG and now I am nervous. :( I am such a loser. I was just typing a message and I wasn't entirely sure if I was gonna send it or not, and I did, and now oh god. WHY do the smallest things freak me out? I should still be raging over that rude guy in the store today. He told me I shouldn't eat "fattening ice cream" when my grandma offered to bring me some, and then he yelled at me for DOING MY FREAKIN' JOB. (Our cash register system is actually a program on the computer, and apparently if I'm touching the computer I'm "playing around," even if I'm, you know, scanning stuff. Also, he doesn't even work there, so what the hell?) I was so mad. My grandpa actually eventually asked him to stop, though, so that was good. And yes, I ate my fucking ice cream.

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I really need to go to bed.

Ughhh, I am just so dsfgafd right now. I hate my job so much already. It's not the work itself that bothers me, it's the fucking customers. There's this one guy, a friend of my grandpa, who always fucking touches me! I DON'T CARE IF YOU'VE BEEN FRIENDS WITH MY GRANDPA SINCE I WAS 3, I REALLY DON'T WANT YOU TO RUB MY BACK OR TOUCH MY SHOULDER OR ANYTHING! STOP! And then there are the people who treat me like I'm stupid. I find it pretty hard to understand a lot of the guys who come in because they have EXTREMELY thick accents. I always do end up figuring out what they say, but it sometimes takes a moment, so I guess they think something's wrong with me, so they talk down to me, which pisses me off like you wouldn't even believe.

And then, there are the creepy dudes who call me "sweetheart" and "babe" and "honey" and shit like that. The guys who do that are usually not even old guys either. They're young enough so that it's just weird and not like a cutesy old man thing. I would say they're generally around 30-40. I don't think I'd be creeped out if they were like, my grandpa's age, because a lot of old guys seem to do that. But these aren't old guys.

It's a little jarring. I'm slightly tempted to put a giant sign around my neck stating my name (and possibly age) in neon letters.

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Guess who is doing something productive?

Me! My grandpa asked me recently if I wanted to come work in his store. It's not exactly an ideal job, but I want money! Today was my first day. It wasn't so bad, actually. He's not making me go in super early or go on weekends, and everything is soooo easy so far. Also, my grandma brought us ice cream. :D

But there are definitely some drawbacks, though... First of all, it's sweaty in there. Oh, god, it is sooo sweaty in there. And dusty too. Also, it's a store for like, car parts and farm stuff, so no hot girls EVER come in. Ever. It's all sweaty dudes allll the time.

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SUPER DUCK RETURNSSSS

Yes, I still exist! I just haven't made a journal in a few days. It feels weird to go that long without making one... BUT I HAVE AN ACTUAL UPDATE!

Tonight, my dad made us go out to dinner at this restaurant that's pretty good but really slow. We got there at EXACTLY the right time. No, we didn't beat the crowd, but it was exactly the right time because right as we walked in, guess who walked out!

I didn't notice at first. I saw a woman and a cute little boy that did kind of look like FCG's step-mom and little 5-year-old brother...

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Updates n' Shit

I've gotten a tumblr. If you have one too, follow my delightfully lame blog please! I am hopelessly addicted to tumblr and was up until 4:30 a.m. browsing it. I mean, there are blogs of Nintendo shit and kittens and .gifs and hot girls and terrible art and and and... AMAZING SHIT!

Oh god I am so tired of people right now. My sister has reached an unparalleled level of brattiness, and I am officially not allowing anyone to ever stay at my house for too long ever again.

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Always Outnumbered, Always Your Car

So, today for most of the day, I was like this:

I didn't do much today. I lounged around alone in the house wearing my pajamas all day, as my mom and sister were out shopping at my most hated store of all time. MOTHERFUCKIN' BIG LOTS. It's like Walmart, only smaller and crappier, although it does have a good snack selection. There used to be one in my town, and my mom dragged me in there every day. I even threw up in the parking lot once... When I was maybe 9 or 10, it finally closed and was bulldozed down to make room for a Walgreens. I had never been so happy in my life.

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Sometimes when I close my eyes, this pillow smells like chicken salad.

I am very tired, so this probably will make little sense. I am now officially allowed to be mostly nocturnal for the next 3 months of my life. Everything is amazing. Except I had to get up earlyish today, so I'm already tired at 3 a.m.

I need to talk to FCG soon, but she is, unfortunately, not nocturnal, and I am scared to bother her while she is at work, because I'm not entirely sure what she does or how busy she is. I'm afraid I may be slipping into lameness... No, we cannot have this. No lame. There is no reason to be lame; this is FCG, who hugs me and asks me to touch her hair. I still hate myself for Thursday. I'm going to keep repeating "No lame," and maybe it will become true. No lame, no lame, no lame, no lame. I am also craving cheese puffs, but my sister put her nasty hands in them, so no cheese puffs. Oh, and I have to pee really badly, but my toilet is somehow broken (hello, sister who uses my bathroom without telling me and manages to use up half a roll of toilet paper in one go) so I have to walk down the hall. Bleh.

SOOO GUESS WHO ACTUALLY PASSED CHEMISTRY DESPITE BARELY EVEN STUDYING FOR THE FINAL? I did! Me! Hell yeah! Hahaha! And I even somehow did well on the final too! I made a 90 on my final, which I was so convinced I'd fail.

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EPIC FAIL

Tonight I am whiny. This is quite possibly the dumbest series of things I have ever been upset about, but I am on my period, so I can be upset about stupid shit. Today hasn't been very good... My kitty destroyed my headphones, there were too many angry bees for me to go enjoy the outdoors like I wanted to this afternoon so I feel fat, and I am about to make literally like a 12 on my chemistry final tomorrow. I don't think I am even going to study anymore. I don't know anything tonight, and I won't know anything at 8 a.m. tomorrow either.

My sister had her dance recital thing tonight. I was reluctantly dragged along, but then I found out it was all ages, so my friend British Girl was in it. I was less reluctant then. The thing itself was good. The cute shy girl I sat by in economics class was in it too. She drives the same kind of car as me, except in yellow, so she is automatically awesome. She had a solo part in it, and it was pretty good, but even if she was bad, then she still would've been good simply for driving an awesome car. In the little kids' group, there was one little boy, the only boy in the entire thing, and he was maybe 5 years old or so. He was so cute with his shiny silver shirt and his white suit. Hahaha. I don't even like little kids, but damn, cutest kid ever.

So, anyway, I was fine until it was time to leave. That was when I got the icing on my shitcake. I was going to go see my friends Helpful Junior and Newspaper Girl, as I had spotted them in the audience, but I was blocked in my seat... I couldn't even get out to go congratulate British Girl or the girl from economics class. This irritated me. Then, I made a huge mistake. I turned around. When I did that, I saw something that made me absolutely HAVE to leave my seat, but I couldn't get out, which left me majorly frustrated. To put something so desired and wonderful just a few feet away from me and NOT allow me to get to it! Universe, why are you so mean?

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A long and not-so-happy journal entry...

So, I am officially a mega-bitch now, according to my mom. We'll get to that in a minute. I have no school until Friday, which is good. Friday is my last day. I am so glad. I need a break.

I don't really care about my mega-bitch status at the moment because I have an eye infection. This is really nasty, so feel free to skip this paragraph. It thankfully waited until Saturday to show up, and it became unbearable Monday night. My eye was sore and a little swollen, and suddenly a little white thing popped up where my eyelashes are. I didn't touch it, but it disappeared later and left this vomit-tastic gunk in its place. I felt much better yesterday, but I went to the doctor anyway, and I got antibiotics. I always hate going to the doctor because I am a slight germophobe and am disgusted at the idea of sitting and waiting in a room full of contagious people. I mean, no one can get my eye infection unless they're dumb enough to come up to me and touch my eye. (And what idiot touches a random girl's nasty infected eye?) But people can get other diseases by being around sick people who are coughing and stuff...

Had a dream involving FCG a few days ago. The parts with her in them were only slightly weird, but the rest of the dream made no sense at all. Most of my dreams don't. It's been a while since I've had a dream I could remember, actually.

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TITLE

Went to FCG's graduation. A nice girl from my history class saved me a seat; she had to be there early for her sister. It was me and her and IG and another girl from my French class. Even though we were 45 minutes early, it was STILL crowded and a gigantic clusterfuck! The girl from history class said that the three of us were allowed to go find FCG and see her if we wanted to, so we set out on an epic quest to find her!

Our quest was made easy for us when we spotted her walking down the hall to go finish putting makeup on in the bathroom.

Us: FCG!
FCG: Yay, it's my French class people!

She hugged us. I was admittedly a little jealous that IG was first, but then I was second, so it was okay, because who can feel bad when you're hugging someone super amazing? FCG hugs are the best ever. <3 (And besides, like little kids always say, first is the worst and second is the best!)

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Empire of Santa Claus

Today was AWESOME because my mom didn't make me go to school. Instead, we went to the greatest restaurant ever. And we got cupcakes too. We did, unfortunately, have to go to Walmart, but that wasn't too terrible, I suppose. I also found out that I am getting a brand new laptop because my old one was too expensive to justify fixing since it's so old. Oh, and there was one other thing I'll get to in a moment.

I didn't have to go to school because I have about 4 days left, and I wasn't going to do much at school anyway. I think I've mentioned how you don't have to take the spring finals at my school if you have an A in the class. That means the only work I'd be doing at school right now is chemistry. There would be little to no point in me going to any of my other classes. I have the rest of this week and possibly Monday, then one hour on Tuesday for the review and one hour Friday for the test.

So, yes, the greatest restaurant ever. It's this tiny little restaurant in the back of a shop, and it's only open for lunch. There are maybe 3 people that work there, and one lady does all of the cooking. But everything there is amazing, even foods I don't normally like. I honestly bet she could take the nastiest food you can imagine and make it kick ass. I want an entire bathtub full of that place's chicken salad. Not even kidding.

AND CUPCAKES! There's a cupcake shop a few minutes away from the greatest restaurant ever. And those cupcakes are super amazing. I had a mint chocolate chip one today. They have new flavors each day of the week, and pretty much all of them are awesome.

I'm sure you want to know what the other thing I did today was.

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