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shiiiiiiiiittt

Huge morale dilemma...

My close friend is secretly seeing a guy who has a girlfriend.

If that's not bad enough in itself, he's done that to his girlfriend before... and she's decided she trusts him enough to get back together with him.

What the hell am I supposed to do? I can't break my friend's trust, but... the poor girl. Ugh. ><

You'r eprobably all gonna say just tell the girl, but it's realllly not that easy.

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Thanksgiving...

Was weird.

First, though, went to se emy therapist on monday. We had a realistic talk about T... looks like it's gonna be a year and a half. Fun... I mean, I shouldn't be sarcastic. I can deal. I knew it was gonna be a while anyways, and most of the time I'm way cool with that. Two years doesn't always seem so long.. just sometimes it does. I'm just hoping that that doesn't get worse as time goes on, yaknow?

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Gym Class

I hate it. Really, I do. But that's not what this journal's about.

I was in a particularly suckish mood at gym today. Just like... depressed at life. And my locker room situation.. as always. Just as I was walking out the door from changing, I noticed a note card on the ground. On said notecard was a drawing in green ink of a person making a shushing sound.. my sister thinks it's something else, but there's no way. Why the hell would somebody draw that and then put it in a place that only I ever go... me or teachers, anyways.

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Okay really.. I'm screwed

I need ideas for this silhouette drawing.. anybody? Please? ><

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Mokmokmok

I have no idea what it means. I'm just tired...

so... today I watched boys don't cry for the first time. It made me want to punch someone. When I knew that the rape scene was coming up I got a text.. and I was so relieved. I didn't want to have to watch that... the same thing happened with the murder. I mean.. it pisses me off that somebody could do that.

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Soo..

Last night... went to boston, right? WE had to drive my sister to this thing. Originally, my mum said we'd leave at like 4:30 and get there early enough that we could do something fun. I suggested the laser show, foudn out it was late, she was like "Woah! That's late!"

WE ended up leaving at 6:30 and being ten minutes late for the laser show.. x_X

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Boston

Yupp, I'm going there tonight. Pink Floyd laser light show... sweetness. : D

Ummmmm what else... I called myself my sister's sister over the phone... and immediately felt like killing myself after. Well... not really.. I'm just kinda amazed that I managed to be -that- unfocused. Cuz I pretty much never get back into that habit at this point.

Aand I'm still driven crazy by the fact that I'm too young to get t... meh. I'll get it eventually.

Oh yeah, still need ideas for a silhouette drawing. Grarg.

Yeah, that's all of the interesting stuff that I have to say... >>

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Hm.. I think... maybe... I don't know.. Lol

It's weird. I don't like senior in the conventional sense any more. I don't think about him a lot, I don't really pine over him, I don't need tot alk to him... but whenever I'm reminded of him, there's a small pang there... just like "Ugh... why can't he be bothered to talk to me without me talking to him first?"

And then it's gone. But he's been getting brought up a lot recently, so... I dunno. I dunno about much of anything anymore. xD

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Oral Journalism...

For one of my classes at my art school, where we make a radio show... I mean, int he class, no the school... anywho, in one of them he's giving us all tape recorders to like... write journals in, only saying them..

So my life reallllly isn't interesting... you know, you've read my journals. Lol..

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Life over the past few days...

I dunno what there is to say. Homework... not much free time... my dad's annoying...

My aunt is here... and by aunt I mean mum's best friend. She talks a -lot-.. She's cool though. *Shrugs*

Ohhh, we developed our film today. We didn't print it, but I have the negatives. I'm excited to print it... :D

Jees... I can't think of anything to say.

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So much to say, yet so little to say...

Lessee... I had a logn conversation with youtube last night. I oughtta think of a better nickname... I always feel like I'm on acid and a website came to life when I talk about him. :P

He's gonna bring me boxers, cuz I don't ahve the guts to ask my parents.. I'm excited. I know it's a really weird thing to be excited about, but I bet all of the trans guys who end up reading this'll understand... Plus he said he'd get me Pokemon or batman ones if he could find them. That's ridiculously exciting. :D

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HAhaha

Just clicked on "Play audio captcha"

They use the spy terms for letters. It's great. xD

I mean... the whole issue is annoying as hell, but that one part is amusing. >>

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Dyyyyyysphoria

I've had it worse than usual since sometime yesterday. I think Imma blame youtube... I was watchign a video of a guy who just got chest surgery and would be getting t in three weeks... and then I got all depressed like. And this morning it was just... Ew. They're like... gross... I mean, on me. Other people they're fine, but on me... ew.

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It got cancelled...

The dance did, that is. Er.. postponed. But I don't care as much as I oughtta.. I don't think I actually liked halloween that way. Which is kinda depressing... I mean, I feel bad about it. And don't anybody correct me grammatically on that... badly would actually be -in-correct in that situation. :P

Anyways.. maybe I should tell him that I shouldn't be his date to the dance when it does happen? Just cuz.. I dunno, I don't want to be somebody's date who like me a lot bu tI don't really like him... yaknow?

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:O

I got a camera. According to youtube, that makes me an emu with a camera. Ftr, youtube is the guy, not he website. I don't care tootoomuch about the website. xD

Anyways, yeah, he decided a while ago that anybody whose sexuality doesn't fit into a category is an emu. At least that's what he decided about himself... then he said that I could be an emu too. Unless I can secretly fly..

Aaaand dance tomorrow. I still don't freaking know what I'm gonna wear... Crappers, I should've done my laundry today... ooh, I'm screwed now. >>

I'll just do it really quickly.

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