For some reason, I've been thinking of looking through my old journals, but it's not interesting. At all.
The old journals of other people interest me way more.
I mean, you could say that I'm not interested in them because I remember writing them all, but when I look through the journals of someone I remember the beginnings of, it's still more interesting than my old journal.
Maybe I'm just less interesting than most anyone else.
BUT I THOUGHT I WAS THE MOST INTERESTING PERSON IN THE WORLD.
If I don't even interest myself, jeez, what do I have?
Well since my mood and will are kinda in the toilet, I obviously don't even have the will to do homework or go to bed, considering I have a major English project already 2 days late that I still haven't done. Fail. And it's 10:40, so it's not getting done tonight. Maybe my current homework can be saved, we'll see if I can handle it, but I can't at least for a few more minutes of procrastination.
So, since my will is in the crapper, let's talk about death.
Not the concept in general, but specifically about your death. Aren't I a great person?
Yes, I am.
So, I was going to post something deep, but I don't have time.
So I'll just do a quick update, something humorous then I have other things to do!
So, today SUCKED ON COCK. Partly because it's Monday, partly because I was like super stressed over the yelling at I was getting today at swimming, and for some reason I couldn't relax, I was REALLY nervous, no clue why, like I felt my heart and it was racing, for like 3 hours, and I was like, this is like unhealthy to be this nervous. I'm going to break soon here.
Like, almost as nervous as several times when I came out :P
Ugh, I'm tired now.
We had a swim meet yesterday, just a little one day meet.
And the head coach is off in Utah, I think. She's off somewhere, is all that matters.
And since I've been having to do Driver's Ed for the past week, I was relatively out of shape for this meet, as well as being a little too :P
And for some reason, even though I emailed Head Coach that I wanted to go to this meet, she forgot to enter me, or something. I dunno.
Yeah, a little silly :P
But maybe they've got the right idea? :P
What do you think?
Oh, *EDIT*: Also, today I saw an Aston Martin, which was super orgasmic. I had to change my pants immediately.
With a 6 foot black steel cube, covered in lemon juice and rock salt, lubricated with gravel and barbed wire.
I started Driver's Ed today. And it was 2 hours long. And I have 14 MORE OF THESE.
And it SUCKED COCK-N-BALLS. So hard.
And then I have 6 more 2 hour drives.
And then I have to log a total of 60 hours with my parents or another adult :P
I mean, I'm glad they don't want you to die, but this seems just a weensy bit copious.
So yeah, this sucks. But I have to do it, if I want a license before I'm 18, which as far as I'm concerned will be heaven on Earth.
I dunno what. Or at least it was.
We had the 100 free as the last event of this long 2 day meet this weekend, and it sucked.
I mean, I'm used to being tired a lot, I basically make a career of it every day with swimming.
And at the end of long meets, I know that I'm usually unusually tired, and don't do too well on my last swim, but this was different.
For some reason, during this 100 free, not complicated, just down, back, down, back, as fast as you can, I was really, really tired.
Like more tired than I've evar been in my life tired.
Than I can remember in a while today.
See, I haven't had a swim meet in almost a month now.
Today was my first one in, since then. And jeez, I was almost forgetting how freakin hawt those things are.
And today I was able to join in the fun, I got a small, shiny, slippery suit that is quite flattering. I've never worn a speedo though, I think I'm way too white and pale for them, but of course I do support them on other guys who are less pale than me :P
Also, I am VERY close now to being able to move 2 yards a second. In the 50 free today, I got a 25.01 :P
but I don't remember what it was...
Well, Chad did Day of Silence today and it SUCKED ON OTHER PEOPLE'S GENITALS FOR MONEY. IT EVEN SWALLOWED. IT WAS A MAJOR WHORE, AND IT WAS FAT, WHICH MADE IT A WHALE WHORE, WHICH IS THE WORST KIND.
It was hard, really really hard, so hard I could feel it boning me every time I sat down with it's gigantic dick.
But I went the entire school day without saying anything, really, then a few hours after school, then I went to swimming and made it most of the way through that before I said FUCK ME, I'M TIRED OF THIS, MY POINT IS MADE. And I stopped.
So I posted a journal about stereotypes, but I found something more important...
I was looking through Youtube and found this video (damnit I don't know how to imbed): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZm8D6FZgNM&safe_search=on
Anyway, watch it, it's amazing. But it made me really sad.
Cause it was about gay marriage, ya know, and generally on these things, when I look in the comments, there's almost unanimous support, and then stupid, useless philisophical debates with the bigots on the outside.
So, we had like a graduation required, 3 hour assembly today. On insecurities.
And some parts were okay, these people from our school came up and talked about their fucked up childhoods (i.e. as a toddler having a gun put against her head and got threatened to be killed because her stepfather owed money to these guys).
And I thought that was certainly tragic, and more entertaining than some stuff we've done before, but really, I can't identify with that. At all.
Well, I got this assignment in English, we're about to read Romeo and Juliet, and these are the pre-reading questions.
They're all about love, and I'm like "woah, well what the cock do I know about love? I love my family, but this is totally different, I've been in 4 relationships that were 4 of the worst times in my life. Ew. Gross. I know nothing about relationship love, I've really never had a real relationship, I'm not married, and as far as I know love doesn't exist and people just like to pretend it does to play a prank on those who don't know any better."
I think Rebecca Black is hilarious. And a GENIUS.
A musical genius? Well, I don't know, I wouldn't imagine so, but a marketing genius certainly.
That song "Friday", I got curious enough to search it on Youtube, and it's a riot. The shallow, awful lyrics, that despicable chorus, her smile you just want to put a fist into the middle of, the creepy appearance by the 30 something black rapper in the video, it's all genius.
I was born here, I shall die here, and I'll almost certainly never leave :P
Is it big enough? We'll find out.
I'm fucking depressing, aren't I? ;)
Ugh, Spring Break needs to end. I mean, high school sucks, as usual, but at least it sucks with friends. This sucks and I'm all alone.
Well, because ever since I got back Tuesday this has been, what, my 5th day here, hardly leaving. Although I guess I had a sleepover a few nights ago, I dunno how much that counts.
I forget what it was about, I really can't remember.
And the reason for that is I'm a little shaken up. I think my computer got virused or something. Because NOTHING is working, it's asking what program I want to open it with, like I open Internet Explorer, and it asks me what I want to open it with, and there's only one option, Internet Explorer, so I say that, but then it asks me with the same message what I want to open that with.