So, recently, life has been hard, but not interesting.
I've felt pretty well terrible most of the time. About everything.
I've thought, I do so much, all the time, and yet is it really getting me anywhere or just exhausting me?
My favorite ever tv show was 6 feet under, where the characters do fucked up things. They get into trouble. And they lead very hard, terrible lives. But they're extremely interesting lives.
Today when I got up, I felt so terrible emotionally that I just wanted to skip school, life, and just sleep a little longer in my warm, comfy bed.
I lay in bed for a minute or two, and thought about what I had to do today.
Sorry, I just posted a journal, but I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important.
A chick from my swim team just texted me and said she was considering suicide.
That terrifies me, I doubt she'll do it, but if she does, I'll live with eternal guilt knowing what-I-could-have-done.
So, what do I say to someone who's considering suicide?
I read an overly detailed thing about hell recently. I wrote a journal about it, but get this, I forgot to post it! I forgot to press submit before I shut down my computer. I'll rewrite it.
So here is the website, if you're into that sort of thing: http://www.wolfram.demon.co.uk/rp_dante_hell.html
Quick background, hell has 9 circles, or levels, and the higher the level, the worse the eternal punishment. Like level 1 is the best and 9 sucks ass.
But a few things that surprise me:
Back when I was 10, I was the dead last, worst swimmer in Washington state, at 267th place.
When I was 11, I moved up to the prestigious 243rd place.
When I was 12, I dropped that down to 130th place.
Last year at 13, I dropped that to 78th place.
This year I am so far at 29th place in the state for 14-year olds, and if I have my way that will be at least 16th place by March, which is where Sectionals times generally are.
Okay, I was actually thinking about posting this before Hannah did her thing.
But, for one, I live like an hour from the Canadian border, so it isn't exactly hard to get there.
Also, my Mom was born in Canada, so I "am born of a native mother" and therefore are allowed to get a dual citizenship, something I really plan on doing someday.
These are 2 subjects in which so many people are so stupid in, and that just frustrate the freakin hell out of me.
First off Justin Bieber. I don't like his music, it's crap in a musicality sense, but then so is most of what I listen to.
I've watched a documentary on him, and now know enough to say that he most certainly has a fair bit of musical talent, but he devotes it to producing crap, but he's just making money like all of us.
Okay, it's late, 8 fifty something, and I haven't done my homework. I have maybe a couple hours of homework to do.
But, it's snowing outside. It's really coming down, it's like a real blizzard now, real cold, real snowy, weird that it's so early in the year for us in Washington.
We already have maybe 3 inches of snow, and it's all beautiful, and I can't imagine school being open tomorrow. Also, the school district website says the schools will be closed tomorrow, which tempts me to not do my homework.
So, 2nd day of the meet today. I missed state on the 50 free, again, by .03 seconds. And that's unfortunate, because I also got 3rd on that event in the meet, and the guy in 2nd beat me by .01 seconds. 1 hundredth of a second! If my fingernails were a little longer I could have won that! Fo sheezus.
However, I made state on the 200 back yesterday, and again on the 100 back today, which is fortunate, althought back is my specialty so it was basically a given, hence why I really wanted that 50 free.
Quote the Zoidberg.
My favorite futurama character by a long shot.
Well, today was a swim meet. It continues tomorrow.
I was so fixing to get the 50 free state champs time. I missed it by 3 hundredths of a second. 0.03 seconds. A blink of an eye, a hair's breadth of time that stands between me and that time.
The good news is, I made state champs in my 200 back! Hooray!
And, tomorrow I have the oppurtunity to make another time in my 100 back, and I get to lead off the relay and try once more for my 50 free.
So, from what I've seen, I'm the fastest frosh on the boys' swim team.
Right now, I'm at the Varsity practice.
I'm not sure I'm specifically ON Varsity yet, but I know that most of the guys, even juniors and seniors, at the Varsity practice haven't swam since last year's school season, and are painfully out of shape, compared to my swimming all year.
So, Uber Christian didn't make it... which means he has to go to the later practice, which makes it hard for him to swim doubles at club swimming too... Sad day.
Today, I got up at 6:15, and left for school soon afterward. School ended at 2:00. I headed directly from there to school swimming, from 2:20 to 4:00. I got home at 4:30, just enough time to eat a little before leaving for my second swim practice at 4:50.
Then, I swam from 5:00 to 6:30, then did weight training at swimming from 6:30 to 7:30, then had to help clean up. I left swimming and got home at 8:00.
Then, I had dinner, and started my homework.
And I have almost all of it done.
I like physical.
I mean, it sucks, because I'm like really really talented in the mental part, and could probably be a major brainbuster right now if I had the motivation.
Physically, I'm right about average. In talent. But, now I'm far more fit than the average person because of the amount of effort I exert towards it. But I still can't compete with the talented hard workers.
But I've always liked physcial activity more. One is because of the idea.
I just realized something.
There are people in my German class whom are always remarking on how weird German is.
I mean, I've always known that English does so many weird things too, and that we just get used to them.
But I just realized how "that" is often used, as in the sentence "I think that Michael Jackson was the greatest musician in history, truly earning the title 'the King of Pop'".
That was a random sentence.