swimmerguy's picture

So wasted right now

Okay, okay, that title might be a little misleading. I'm not on anything, but I just love the way that sounds.
And, it's very appropriate, because I REALLY feel like I'm on something right now.

Woah, it's been longer than I thought since I posted a journal... I thought I posted one like yesterday, but I realize it has to have been at least Wednesday...
So, Thursday.
My mom was leaving on Thursday, early in the morning.
For Mexico, for some soccer tournament, although of course that's just an excuse for a bunch of women to go to Mexico. Works for me.

swimmerguy's picture

Why are matrices cool?

When there's action movies like The Matrix or other movies that continuously refer to matrices, why do they do that?
Doesn't everybody know that real matrices are incredibly boring and are simply ways to quantify large amounts of information?
Is it just because they have cool names?
Is there something I'm missing here???????????

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Ethical Question

Quick background, for those of you that don't read my boring personal journals.
There's a guy, Blake, who is the fastest person on my swim team, he's awesome, I love and respect him, but he's graduated, and will be leaving for the navy January 4th. This is going to be devastating to me.
Even worse, recently he's been coming to practices more and more sporadically, and so I haven't got to see him much recently.

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Religion

I've recently been switching into more and more sort of religious frame of mind. I've never been intolerant or anything of other religions, but I've always been stone cold atheist since I pulled my head out of my ass at age 5. Part of it's my upbringing, what with my atheist mom and dad who wants to be religious but is overruled and really too busy to do anything about it anyway.
But I've always been very rational about things.

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Question: What is your greatest fear and why?

Something I've always been curious of. There are those usual fears, like of heights and spiders. (Never had the slightest fear at a spider. I've always been fascinated by them)
Then there are more unusual fears. I was wondering if anyone here had any of those.

Okay, I suffer a bit from acrophobia, fear of heights, where if I'm on like a cliff or something, I choke up and can only crawl to the edge. Some nice views though.

But, I imagine my more interesting great fear would not be something so common as fear of heights. No, ironically, I am scared of deep water.

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No, I do not like orchestra concerts

That's right.
Today, we had an orchestra concert. That started at 7:00, but we had to be there at 6:10.
But, girls swim districts was 20 yards away in the pool building starting at 5:00. I went there first, and cheered for all my friends and such, and saw Blake again for the first time in a month. I missed him. I wish Joe was there though...
And I stayed there for like an hour, then went to the PAC at 6:10 like a good boy, and changed and crap.

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I need to see my thoughts

Okay, I haven't posted a journal in a few days, and I really need to see my thoughts written down somewhere.
You probably don't want to read it, as it is just me talking about people you will most likely never even meet.

A few days ago, I was talking to D and Joe, and I realized some things.

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"And you wonder why I'm gay?"

Well, this week has sucked ass. For many reasons, really.
But today sucked too.

I feel soooooooooooo bad. Like, in German class I totally disrespected the teacher. Like totally. I'm so embarrassed I don't want to say what I did. But it was uncalled for, and stupid.
I wouldn't normally do something like that, but this week has made me so tired and pissed off, I generally try not to show it but my self control was so low by today. I am still in literal amazement that I didn't dream doing that. Totally uncalled for. Terrible.

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School has no point

Ms Trig is from what I've heard the worst trig teacher we have at our school. She gives us a lot of work to do and grades hard. I mean, she's pretty cool, like she gives out candy on people's birthdays, which I admire. But I don't really like her as much. I really appreciate what she does, because she's always changing the way we do things, trying to find a way so that we actually learn the activity. I appreciate that she really tries hard to make sure everyone actually learns, even after the test.

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Can you love someone without being attracted to them at all?

I'm so sad right now. After swimming today, a senior girl, D, was on the benches. She was doing math or something, I think.
And as I was walking by to do my own thing, she looks up and is like "hey, sit down for a sec!". So I do, and we talk for a few minutes, before she needs to go with one of the coaches, and she's like "well give me a hug now!" and I do, and she like snuggles into my neck and it tickles and stuff. Then she just says "Bye!" and leaves.

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WOWness

Health class actually had a good idea! Well, we've done a few other things I would say are actually good things to do in that class, but this one amazed me.

We're doing a self-letter, or letter to self, I imagine some of you have done this... But basically, you write a 12 page letter to yourself that no one will read except you and those you choose to share it with. I appreciate that.
And the letter you write as a frosh, and then it will be given back to you after you graduate high school, whenever that may be.

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Hugh, I wish it was Friday

So, I have amazingly managed to get through the cold season thus far without getting sick as everyone else in my house and when Health Teacher asked, 2/3 of health class got sick.
Until today.

You know, like the worst feeling ever is waking up and knowing that you are becoming sick. Terrible. At least it's not Monday.
Fortunately I had soccer practice today, so I just went to that, which is far less strenuous than swimming and did my thing there.
I'm hoping I can be a little better tomorrow so that I can suck up enough to go to swimming, or at least dryland.

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I don't like modern society

In general.

Like, school is really bad, but the whole society is pretty bad too.

I guess I may have a weird viewpoint on this, but it's very strong for reasons I don't even know. But the thing I hate more than anything else is just going to school and sitting in a desk doing things all day.
Just the sitting, at base metabolic rate, doing math problems and writing things all day.

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Okay, unimportant

So I have nothing important to say. I just felt like posting a journal with nothing really to post one about.

I feel really bad for gyping my soccer team. But they moved soccer practice to be earlier, and now I have to miss swimming to go.
And swimming is very important to go to.

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And I got destroyed in the ass

So, how did I do during the meet this weekend?
Pretty good.
There were about 20 13-14 boys, and I think I got 2nd.
But fortunately and unfortunately, there was a Progidy at the meet.
Not on the lines of Michael Phelps, or Ugur Taner, or even Ed Kim.

But a Progidy nonetheless. Worst of all, he was best in Backstroke. That's MY stroke! MINEMINEMINE!
I got 2nd to him in my best events, the 50 free and 200 back. But I beat him in the 50 back!
It seems like there's a Progidy at every meet. Just some kid who's probably just talented and at the top of his game.

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