I've recently been switching into more and more sort of religious frame of mind. I've never been intolerant or anything of other religions, but I've always been stone cold atheist since I pulled my head out of my ass at age 5. Part of it's my upbringing, what with my atheist mom and dad who wants to be religious but is overruled and really too busy to do anything about it anyway.
But I've always been very rational about things.
Something I've always been curious of. There are those usual fears, like of heights and spiders. (Never had the slightest fear at a spider. I've always been fascinated by them)
Then there are more unusual fears. I was wondering if anyone here had any of those.
Okay, I suffer a bit from acrophobia, fear of heights, where if I'm on like a cliff or something, I choke up and can only crawl to the edge. Some nice views though.
But, I imagine my more interesting great fear would not be something so common as fear of heights. No, ironically, I am scared of deep water.
Today, we had an orchestra concert. That started at 7:00, but we had to be there at 6:10.
But, girls swim districts was 20 yards away in the pool building starting at 5:00. I went there first, and cheered for all my friends and such, and saw Blake again for the first time in a month. I missed him. I wish Joe was there though...
And I stayed there for like an hour, then went to the PAC at 6:10 like a good boy, and changed and crap.
Okay, I haven't posted a journal in a few days, and I really need to see my thoughts written down somewhere.
You probably don't want to read it, as it is just me talking about people you will most likely never even meet.
A few days ago, I was talking to D and Joe, and I realized some things.
Well, this week has sucked ass. For many reasons, really.
But today sucked too.
I feel soooooooooooo bad. Like, in German class I totally disrespected the teacher. Like totally. I'm so embarrassed I don't want to say what I did. But it was uncalled for, and stupid.
I wouldn't normally do something like that, but this week has made me so tired and pissed off, I generally try not to show it but my self control was so low by today. I am still in literal amazement that I didn't dream doing that. Totally uncalled for. Terrible.
Ms Trig is from what I've heard the worst trig teacher we have at our school. She gives us a lot of work to do and grades hard. I mean, she's pretty cool, like she gives out candy on people's birthdays, which I admire. But I don't really like her as much. I really appreciate what she does, because she's always changing the way we do things, trying to find a way so that we actually learn the activity. I appreciate that she really tries hard to make sure everyone actually learns, even after the test.
I'm so sad right now. After swimming today, a senior girl, D, was on the benches. She was doing math or something, I think.
And as I was walking by to do my own thing, she looks up and is like "hey, sit down for a sec!". So I do, and we talk for a few minutes, before she needs to go with one of the coaches, and she's like "well give me a hug now!" and I do, and she like snuggles into my neck and it tickles and stuff. Then she just says "Bye!" and leaves.
Health class actually had a good idea! Well, we've done a few other things I would say are actually good things to do in that class, but this one amazed me.
We're doing a self-letter, or letter to self, I imagine some of you have done this... But basically, you write a 12 page letter to yourself that no one will read except you and those you choose to share it with. I appreciate that.
And the letter you write as a frosh, and then it will be given back to you after you graduate high school, whenever that may be.
So, I have amazingly managed to get through the cold season thus far without getting sick as everyone else in my house and when Health Teacher asked, 2/3 of health class got sick.
You know, like the worst feeling ever is waking up and knowing that you are becoming sick. Terrible. At least it's not Monday.
Fortunately I had soccer practice today, so I just went to that, which is far less strenuous than swimming and did my thing there.
I'm hoping I can be a little better tomorrow so that I can suck up enough to go to swimming, or at least dryland.
Like, school is really bad, but the whole society is pretty bad too.
I guess I may have a weird viewpoint on this, but it's very strong for reasons I don't even know. But the thing I hate more than anything else is just going to school and sitting in a desk doing things all day.
Just the sitting, at base metabolic rate, doing math problems and writing things all day.
So I have nothing important to say. I just felt like posting a journal with nothing really to post one about.
I feel really bad for gyping my soccer team. But they moved soccer practice to be earlier, and now I have to miss swimming to go.
And swimming is very important to go to.
So, how did I do during the meet this weekend?
There were about 20 13-14 boys, and I think I got 2nd.
But fortunately and unfortunately, there was a Progidy at the meet.
Not on the lines of Michael Phelps, or Ugur Taner, or even Ed Kim.
But a Progidy nonetheless. Worst of all, he was best in Backstroke. That's MY stroke! MINEMINEMINE!
I got 2nd to him in my best events, the 50 free and 200 back. But I beat him in the 50 back!
It seems like there's a Progidy at every meet. Just some kid who's probably just talented and at the top of his game.
I actually did something INTERESTING today!
Well first, the boring things.
So, there was a watch that I knew was somewhere in the house, I knew I hadn't lost it somewhere, and yet I didn't know where it could possibly be. I was a little worried, because my mom gets very angry about these sorts of things and she wouldn't be happy to know it was gone...
But, I was reading that article on Atheism Elph posted on one of Super Duck's journals, and I wasn't listening to any music, when all of a sudden I heard the slightest noise. It was a ticking!
Solving systems of 3-D equations.
Gawd, it takes like at least 10 minutes if you're doing them right.
But me, I make a simple error or two.
The math isn't hard, just long and with complicated, convoluted situations.
So I mix up a few signs, add things together wrong, and before I know it I'M WORKING EVERY PROBLEM 3 TIMES OVER AND CHECKING IT TWICE.
Gonna find out who's naughty and nice.
By that I mean it took me an hour to do 3 problems. When will I ever need to know how to find where 3 planes intersect?
It's kinda fun though, I feel so clever when I work all that math...
Ok, this is morbid as all hell, but I was wondering: If you were going to die, sometime in like the next week or so, and you could choose every single aspect of your death, how, when, where would you like it to happen?
For me, I think it would probably be on Thursday, as I'm scootering back from swimming, as I usually do, in the pitch black wearing a black shirt, dark blue pants, and a black coat along a busy highway.