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Why I'm back with him :] Mushy romantic stuff.. XP

Jman: Awh :) <3 your the most amazing person in the world <3
me: Jman omg shut up I'm like cryig at that :'3 you don't really means that :'3333
Jman: Awh :) but i do baby <3 theres no one else in the world as great as you :) and your all mine :)
me: omg :'33.... sweetheartttttt <3 did you like bump your head when you broke up with me cause where did all this come from :'3 <3 I don't think you've ever been this sweet and amazing to me and I love you with all my heart baby <3 I never wanna lose you again <3

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Okay so your friendly neighborhood Swimmerguy pressured me to write a journal >:|

um okay so school has started I dunno if you guys noticed
Okay so I have one woman teacher and by god she is the only teacher I don't like
she's my first period french teacher and she speaks in rapid french and vit vit vit vit vit vit ALL THE TIME and I hate her and her expectations of us

the whole year is pas anglais and if we speak english we lose points or detention

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Okay so J-man, summed up

Gon' just write shit out here and hopefully things will make more sense.

I'll make a pro/con list that you can just skim over if you don't really care, but I'll explain a little after

-he's really funny. Like hilarious. He makes me laugh so much.
-really sweet when he's happy (you looked amazing today <3, etc)
-isn't too sensitive, but enough I can tell he's human
-takes good care of me when he's happy

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So things are c-o-m-p-l-i-c-a-t-e-d


Okay I'm not going to give any direct information, just that picture I drew and the fact that it's all complicated again.

But I kinda like it complicated. I get a little more power when it's complicated.

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Just... a quick journal about jman

He's being really weird but it's nice.

At band camp, we didn't really talk. I was too nervous to talk to him with his buds around. Our first contact was he walked behind me, stroked my hair, and left.

Like, okay, cool.
(He later said he "just wanted to touch it")

um, then he kept staring at me. Like across the room. And at lunch. and I mean okay that's fine.

Then I got home and texted him and was like "Hey bro! sorry I didn't talk to you at band camp, I was real nervous :'3"

and ho shit
like shit hit the fan

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So this one time at band camp!

I know what happens at band camp stays at band camp but omg guys I have to tell you about it

Uhhh tired. I'm tired.
okay happy part today, srs bsns life lesson shit tomorrow or something~

So we had a great week, it was sunny all day long every day. And considering we have to stand outside, all day, in a field at LEAST the size of a football field... Yeah, I got sunburnt.

Freaking all over.

XD It's really terrible.

I made new friends, who are awesome, and I slept in the same bed as a bisexual girl who snuggled with me all night ;DDDD


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Beach Cuddles

holy jesus christ today was great

okay so I went to my friend's birthday party :) Which was so great. She's older than me, and so were all the other people there, but I had an awesome time~ one of the other girls there, we'll call her M, was SO FREAKING COOL

She and I got along really great and she was really nice and funny :)

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Another journal about "happiness"


Should read that, guys. S'really good.

Anyways... I'm absolutely so happy right now. I mean at the moment, my insides feel like liquid. I had a great guard practice. JB complimented me on my dancing... he never compliments anyone! He was saying that I did FANTASTIC and that I gave it emotion and he showed everyone and :'D

it was great. Guard is great for me.

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it's just like, one of those noises that drives me NUTS. Like, I'm not even sure it's the clippy noise, but rather you hear it once, and then....

it's so groooooooossssss

Am I the only one that is bothered by it? What sounds squick you guys out?

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I can't even handle the hilariousness

This guy is the funniest shit ever. He rants kinda like me though so I guess TRIGGER WARNING IF YOU'RE EXTRA SPESHUL SENSITIVE

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Am I the only one who geniunely loves teachers and coaches? I love learning and stuff. I've always been the one to like, actually TALK to my teachers, and treat them like humans instead of caretakers. But in orchestra, in my section, there's this one girl who's also on Colourguard, and she's always disrespectful to the person teaching her, being lazy and saying that she won't practice things that we're going to do.

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I love you guys <3

Hey Oasis! Life is going so good right now :)

Yesterday, KT came over and we had an AWESOME time. It was like 80 degrees out, which is pretty hot for my part of Washington, and we had a watergun/hose fight in the front yard (wet t-shirt contest?). And then I taught her all my guard stuff! So she totally might join, which is awesome! And then at like 10, we went to see Harry Potter pt. 2, second time for me XP Cried the whole movie AGAIN!

Ah... today in guard, we learned Fred. It's a routine on rifle, and it is absolutely amazing. It's so easy but looks so flashy! :D

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Bisexual Shaming

Kind of sucks because two of my relatives do it, which makes it hard for me to come out.

My mom said once something along the lines of that nobody's really bisexual, they're just really gay and just switch over occassionally. She played softball and has tons of lesbian friends, one that got married to a man and had kids and is a lesbian now, and she probably takes that as being no "middle ground".

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Oasis, I'm just sorry.

I just feel unimportant to anyone right now.

I come home and I'm really just this roommate to my parents. My mom, dad, and I all eat dinner in seperate rooms. My mom only comes in to yell at me or to tell me to do something.

It's a really broken family, right now.

I wish my parents acted more like they loved me and tried to understand me instead of just shutting me out. I may be the one in my room all day, but it's them that force me here.

None of my in-real-life friends ever text me to check up on me or anything and it's really frustrating.

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Okay so I'm surrounded by gay people :D

Colourguard is amazing, maaaan!

So our rifle tech went off to teach his own guard, and we got a new guy, and he is sooooooo gay.

Oh man. So that means all our coaches are gay now! Jmac and Amanda are getting married soon <3 and then JB, our leader, is super gay and his boyfriend's adorable, and then Mattie is super gay and ohgod <3

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