So I was really happy to see Boyfriend today :)

I guess I did miss him a lot :P And he was so sore from carrying his Tuba around, but he let me push on his chest even though it hurt him XD

He told me my hair looked really great, and that I looked really nice today :) And he kept stroking my face with his hand, and kissing me on the cheek. It was... Really nice. I did miss that.

So I texted him and sort of talked to him about how I was feeling and stuff, and he DIDN'T GET MAD AND DEFENSIVE! o.o

I don't think I love him anymore.
Well maybe I DO,
But I don't think I CAN.

And I want to, but,

I'm tired of waiting for him to act like he's in love with me.

For Valentine's day, I baked him a whole batch of cookie bars and wrote him a long note telling him how much he meant to me.

He bought me a card and barely wrote anything in it.
His mom got me chocolate.

How long do I have to wait to feel like I'm more than just his friend?

How long do I have to wait for him to tell me I'm important?
I think he's only called me beautiful once
in this whole year
and

I've picked what I'm gonna do all day!
I'm playing The Legend of Zelda, A Link to the Past!

Greatttttttttt game. Really great. So I think I'll be on this and maybe some other video games today. That's really all I have planned!

Boyfriend is off in Victoria for his band trip now, and it's lonely :'( He can't text me cause of international charges and whatnot. I'm really jealous. I wanted to go D:

But yeah, I didn't get to see him yesterday or the day before cause I was sick, and I won't get to talk/see him until Tuesday. So let's hope one of us doesn't get Raptured! XP

And I stayed home from school today... So she's texting me in class!
Homg!

I knew she missed me ;D

anyways, that's really the only cool thing happening right now. The Boyfriend (as well as T-rex) Is going to Victoria, Canada for our Show Band's thing. So uh, I won't be able to talk to either of them until Tuesday! Which sucks!

But yeah I think it's pretty cool she texted me cause like she was thinkin' about me :P

Gross, everytime I cough up the crap in my lungs, it tastes all bittery metally, like I'm coughing up blood. Nastay.

I think I has it. I woke up a little cough-y and I felt pretty sick, but I was like, "Nyeh, we'll go to school today".

And then around third period it just hit me like a freaking semi-truck.

I mean, I feel like I swallowed a Sandslash, who then proceeded to use rollout on my throat for like 70,000 turns.

and then earthquaked it for good measure.

Anyways!

So I guess I'm kinda gonna get whiny here.
because lately, I am just really down. I haven't been getting enough sleep AT ALL and I'm really tired of being alone.

I'm just shit to my best friend. I mean, she has new friends now, and they all ignore that I even exist. They run up and interrupt me when I'm talking and take her away. They glare at me when I'm joining their conversation.

I just... Don't get it. I'm nothing but pleasant to them. I can acknowledge that I'm sometimes mean on here, but...

My health teacher, whom I thought hated me, stuck me as the leader of my drug-presentation group.

AND LOL WE GOT WEED
I MEAN

WHAT A COMBINATION

I mostly agree with Swimmerguy on the pot issue. It's stupid to be illegal... They waste jail space and police officers to arrest people smoking pot. While it is pretty bad to drive on pot, that's about the only bad health risk worse than alchohol or cigarrettes.

Anyways, she never said we had to do a "bad" presentation of it... Would it be inappropriate of me to include some "non-horrible" facts about it??

See, because the people on the internet are fake.

Not fake in the sort of "I pretend to be happy so you don't know I'm upset" fake, but the complete opposite.

The "Everyone should give a crap about me and have the same opinion as me and give me exactly what I want to hear elsewise I will throw a tantrum" sort of thing. The "Oh I totally act normal in real life but I just HIDE MY UTTER DEPRESSION AND DEPTH" sort of thing.

See, I read this article today that pretty much envisions how I feel about most people.

Um, I went in my room and told the ghostie that it was cool if he resided in my room as long as he didn't make it feel so heavy and bad in here, and if he stopped tapping while I was trying to sleep.

And guess what! Room's back to normal :) So I really think he's a nice ghost :3

euhhh cold breeze just hit me XD Maybe he's reading this and letting me know I'm right XD <3

Anyways, my friend KT came over this weekend and spent the night. It was fun :D We played lots of video games and made homemade popcorn and such.

I got two hours of sleep last night (about), so pardon if this is disjointed and stupid sounding.

I think my room has a ghost.
Not really HAUNTED, I haven't seen apparitions or heard voices or had things thrown, but it feels weird in there. I've been hearing musical, rhythmic tapping noises on the metal part of my bed every night. Sometimes my bed shakes. I've smelt man's cologne when I play my viola.

Look, I really don't feel good. There's something bizarre going on in my room and in my body and I don't know if I'm just psyching myself out cause I read too much scary shit or what. But I'll get to that later. Personal stuff at the end, some social psychology stuff at the beginning.

Okay I know I addressed this earlier, but I think I have more to say.

can't even believe I used to love this series, what was I even thinking

So, Twilight. Let's examine the main character.

Ah, Oldfoxbob got me thinking about this.

I think that having an age to be an "Adult" is quite silly. Not just for myself. But it's funny, one day you're a kid and POOF, overnight you become an adult who can do almost anything...
except drink? So as an adult, I still can't decide for myself if I want to get drunk?

I mean, so many laws are fucked up that it's hilarious.

At any age, you can buy condoms and lube- but no sex? I can get birth control at my age and still not have sex. Because I have to be a certain age for my judgement of whether I want a penis in my vagina to be true?

and what was it like?

I'm really into supernatural stuff even though it scares me alot...

So anybody here got some background knowledge of anything of the sort? Crazy shit that happened with a ouija board? Prolly spelled that wrong. Anyways. Yeah.

Cause I'm scared and probably won't sleep for very long... :P

So my mom went shopping with us today...
WHICH WASN'T PART OF THE PLAN.

So me and my friend had to sneak away to get the condoms, and I had to buy them at the pharmacy...
With a person...

and it was SO AWKWARD, MY GOD.

I was like "Umm, miss? I uh... I need to buy something"
and she was like, "OH OKAY, come right over here!"
and so I gave her the box
and she looked at me and smiled XD
I think she was just happy to see me being safe or something. Plus I see her every month when I go get my pills XD so maybe she recognized me :P

But yeah! I did it! I did it! I did it, yayy!

Pubic hair is gorgeous. I don't care what people think of it, I <3 it.

It doesn't obey anyone
well unless you shave it off, and even then,
it comes back with a vengeance, with
red, painful little bumps.
And then it grows into a thick tangle,
some are curly,
some are wavy,
some are straight, bendy, blonde, red,
clean, dirty,
thick or thin.

But it's all beautiful.
Just like people!