This isn't the typical one we learned in school.
From this PDF, I basically get this out of it...
Stages in order:
And mine are just a LITTLE out of order...
Physical distress/Emotional release (The throwing up combined with crying)
...And that's where I'm stopped
somewhere between withdrawal and anger.
Chris says HELLO!
but I don't feel like it. My mood was like, a four, and now it's like, a two. And I'm lazy.
So here's a link to my Tumblr with the shortened explanation and I'm gonna go bleh now.
Very happy today. I think the emotionall stress is almost all gone- but my body's still having eating problems.
Blueboy's being lulzylicious. Acting all angry and depressed and shit.
Is this not what he wanted???
It makes me laugh, because he's the one who begged for us to stay best friends. And now he's ignoring and avoiding me and looking all upset all day :P Maybe he should decide what he REALLY wants before acting!
anyways, that might not be it. It might be other things about me he's mad about or something. Idk.
Anyways, I'm off to destress!
Good news: T-rex hugged me tons today, told me she was here for me, and then said "I KNOW WHAT YOU NEED...A SLEEPOVER. WITH ME. THIS WEEKEND. IT'S ON.
OH WAIT I HAVE TO GO TO MY GRANDMA'S HOUSE OKAY NEXT WEEKEND THEN".
And my god her boobs envelop my face when she hugs me! Awesome.
found a few more people I can talk to and they're pretty cool. They relieve my stress.
I actually wasn't that upset today- I'll get to that later though.
Well, he broke up with me.
I knew this was gonna happen, either from me, or from him.
He said that he really loves me but isn't IN love with me.
And I really knew that. I kinda figured it out for a while.
He also said I'm his best friend- And he looked like he was on the verge of tears at breaking up with me. I mean, he was very upset. He kept saying "I really do love you, I love you so much, but not in the way I need to" and he said he couldn't give me what I want.
And I just sorta sat there. I didn't even cry. I was just in shock.
So I was really happy to see Boyfriend today :)
I guess I did miss him a lot :P And he was so sore from carrying his Tuba around, but he let me push on his chest even though it hurt him XD
He told me my hair looked really great, and that I looked really nice today :) And he kept stroking my face with his hand, and kissing me on the cheek. It was... Really nice. I did miss that.
So I texted him and sort of talked to him about how I was feeling and stuff, and he DIDN'T GET MAD AND DEFENSIVE! o.o
I don't think I love him anymore.
Well maybe I DO,
But I don't think I CAN.
And I want to, but,
I'm tired of waiting for him to act like he's in love with me.
For Valentine's day, I baked him a whole batch of cookie bars and wrote him a long note telling him how much he meant to me.
He bought me a card and barely wrote anything in it.
His mom got me chocolate.
How long do I have to wait to feel like I'm more than just his friend?
How long do I have to wait for him to tell me I'm important?
I think he's only called me beautiful once
in this whole year
I've picked what I'm gonna do all day!
I'm playing The Legend of Zelda, A Link to the Past!
Greatttttttttt game. Really great. So I think I'll be on this and maybe some other video games today. That's really all I have planned!
Boyfriend is off in Victoria for his band trip now, and it's lonely :'( He can't text me cause of international charges and whatnot. I'm really jealous. I wanted to go D:
But yeah, I didn't get to see him yesterday or the day before cause I was sick, and I won't get to talk/see him until Tuesday. So let's hope one of us doesn't get Raptured! XP
And I stayed home from school today... So she's texting me in class!
I knew she missed me ;D
anyways, that's really the only cool thing happening right now. The Boyfriend (as well as T-rex) Is going to Victoria, Canada for our Show Band's thing. So uh, I won't be able to talk to either of them until Tuesday! Which sucks!
But yeah I think it's pretty cool she texted me cause like she was thinkin' about me :P
Gross, everytime I cough up the crap in my lungs, it tastes all bittery metally, like I'm coughing up blood. Nastay.
I think I has it. I woke up a little cough-y and I felt pretty sick, but I was like, "Nyeh, we'll go to school today".
And then around third period it just hit me like a freaking semi-truck.
I mean, I feel like I swallowed a Sandslash, who then proceeded to use rollout on my throat for like 70,000 turns.
and then earthquaked it for good measure.
So I guess I'm kinda gonna get whiny here.
because lately, I am just really down. I haven't been getting enough sleep AT ALL and I'm really tired of being alone.
I'm just shit to my best friend. I mean, she has new friends now, and they all ignore that I even exist. They run up and interrupt me when I'm talking and take her away. They glare at me when I'm joining their conversation.
I just... Don't get it. I'm nothing but pleasant to them. I can acknowledge that I'm sometimes mean on here, but...
My health teacher, whom I thought hated me, stuck me as the leader of my drug-presentation group.
AND LOL WE GOT WEED
WHAT A COMBINATION
I mostly agree with Swimmerguy on the pot issue. It's stupid to be illegal... They waste jail space and police officers to arrest people smoking pot. While it is pretty bad to drive on pot, that's about the only bad health risk worse than alchohol or cigarrettes.
Anyways, she never said we had to do a "bad" presentation of it... Would it be inappropriate of me to include some "non-horrible" facts about it??
See, because the people on the internet are fake.
Not fake in the sort of "I pretend to be happy so you don't know I'm upset" fake, but the complete opposite.
The "Everyone should give a crap about me and have the same opinion as me and give me exactly what I want to hear elsewise I will throw a tantrum" sort of thing. The "Oh I totally act normal in real life but I just HIDE MY UTTER DEPRESSION AND DEPTH" sort of thing.
See, I read this article today that pretty much envisions how I feel about most people.
Um, I went in my room and told the ghostie that it was cool if he resided in my room as long as he didn't make it feel so heavy and bad in here, and if he stopped tapping while I was trying to sleep.
And guess what! Room's back to normal :) So I really think he's a nice ghost :3
euhhh cold breeze just hit me XD Maybe he's reading this and letting me know I'm right XD <3
Anyways, my friend KT came over this weekend and spent the night. It was fun :D We played lots of video games and made homemade popcorn and such.