Sometimes I wish I could transform into a chubby 34 yr old, with a beer gut, a crew cut, the whole nine yards. Because I really, really like the outdoors. But have you ever been on gayoutdoors.org? If I joined, I would probably be the youngest person on the entire site. No joke.
Honestly, I have a hard enough time relating to people my own age. I don't know what I would talk about to a twenty-nine year old. Besides, I'm not sure they'd really want to drag along an (almost) nineteen year old.
It's kind of ridiculous how much time I've spent on one question these last few months. I think about it at least once every two days. The question; if I where at Hogwarts, what house would I be in?
Of every question I could be asking myself, I spend time on the one that probably matters the very least. I literally don't think I could pick a topic less relevant to my life. The really bad thing is, I've started sorting other people in my life. It's like the nerdy portion of my brain has completely taken over.
It's funny how this works.
But could someone please tell me how to do cool things with the text in here? Like bold or italicized words, pictures, ect.
I'm kinda helpless without a word processing system.
(NOTE: This is kind of an angry rant. To be honest, I have no idea where this even came from. I was actually planning an entry about youtube videos. Oh well.)
Know what I hate? When people say, "Be yourself. Don't care about what others think. You are unique and special."
I'm so effing tired of people telling me I shouldn't care what people think about me. Because, whether I like it or not, I do care what people think about me, even people I don't know. Hell, especially people I don't know.
I feel old being on this site. It's stupid, because I'm technically only a year older than I was when I joined. Still, ever since I moved out of my hometown, everything feels different. But what's the average age for this site, anyway? If I had to guess, I'd say 15. I'm turning 19 this summer, so maybe this is a bit weird. Or maybe it's just me.
Also, damn things got dramatic around here. I have no clue who started it or what it's about, and I don't really care to find out. It's not that I don't care about y'all, it just seems like it's none of my business.
I wrote a post about atheism. Then I read about all the discussion going on with lonewolf, and decided Oasis probably doesn't need more religious debate. So now I'll write a post about how I fucked up.
I have/had this friend. She was probably the closest friend I ever had, but I still abandoned her. I stopped talking to her, avoided her emails, deleted her on facebook, the whole nine yards. I don't understand why, either.
The bad thing is, this has been done to me before. A few times, actually. I don't understand why I'm still doing it. Thoughts?
I only journal when I'm upset. It's stupid, because this is supposed to be a community, but I never seem to contribute anything positive. That said, here's a journal about introverts and extroverts.
My professor made this analogy to explain the difference between introverts and extroverts; Introverts are bateries
Hell, I finish this later. My meds just kicked in so I'm super sleepy.
1) I just got invited out by my old group of friends. Only, in the invitation was the phrase "I'll let you know if you can come". I had to reread that one a few times.
2) I am wasting this winter break.
3) I think I'm going to take a year off from college. It's entirely for money reasons, yet I am very, very excited for it.
4)Pushing Daisies might be the greatest show of all time. If not greatest, then it definitely will be the most adorable.
5) If you read my journal, you know way more about me than any of my "facebook friends" do.
There's this cliche in movies and books regarding female librarians. It basically goes like this:
There's this bitter old prune of a librarian who always seems too strict. The young protagonist is often getting into trouble, and this librarian is often the one dealing out the punishment. One day, the protagonist learns that the librarian was actually very beautiful when she was young, and that time and loneliness has made the librarian bitter and cynical.
Disclaimer: This journal is 99% whiny narcissism. The remaining 1% is disclaimer.
There's a terribly cliche expression that explains my situation right now.
It's something about the distinction between wanting and needing something, and how you can get what you want and not what you need.
I am more social than I've ever been in my life. I'm surrounded by people who are intelligent and kind. But I feel more alone than I think I ever have.
Is a white pickup truck. I always see it parked in front of the athletic center. It has four bumper stickers:
1) "Republicans for Voldemort"
2) "Don't pray in my school and I won't think in your church."
3) One Human Rights Campaign yellow "=" sign.
4) One University Football sticker.
I have never seen this person, but I'm pretty sure I want to marry them. I've been creepily lurking every time I pass it hoping to glimpse the owner. Fingers crossed that it's a gay guy. Either way I'm boned (HAH! Pun successful).
A confession and a list:
1) I pretend not to notice if people crush on me so I wont have to deal with it. If confronted, I will deny that they do.
2) If I don't want to talk to somebody, I will blatantly blow them off.
3) I judge people all of the time.
4) I'm two faced. Part of the reason I am like this is because I don't want people to know how cruel I can be.
5) I always look down on people who aren't modest, even if they have the right to brag.
Low self esteem and vanity are BFF's. I think self loathing may be their mutant love child.
Say you have a few friends whose company you do not enjoy. Say that these friends really seem to enjoy your company. Say that these friends literally want to spend entire days with you. How the hell do you get away from them without being a dick?
So that was a very long day. 21 Hours, some of it construction work, some of it frisbee, and the rest social. Since when am I social? Since now, apparently.
Homework tomorrow. AAAAGGHH. I want to talk more, but I'm so gosh darn tired. It feels good, though. Really good.
Just woke up from a nap crying. It was very odd. I felt lonely.
My minds still a step behind. Waking up and wanted to make a normal journal.
Buy you know what? I did not really expect that to happen. So here we go:
If Harrison Ford was actually as attractive as he looks on the cover art of "Raiders of the Lost Ark". I would not be in college right now. I would not even be typing this. I would be devoting my life to making a time machine.