This one may not make as much sense (because the others totally did).
I don't know what I look like, and it's something I really wonder about. I guess that makes me vain. Some people tell me I'm attractive, and many others act like I'm not. My own opinion on this matter changes about five times a week.
I just wish I could tell how people see me. Perhaps an anonymous site where people tell you would be helpful, but I don't think one exists.
There was an hour long intermission, which I dictated by the above hyphens.
Alright. So, college.
I've heard that couples who are not near each other typically break up during their freshman year.
I have been single my entire life, and I'm kind of looking forward to it. It's sick.
Also, I'm friends with people I don't want to be friends with. People who don't understand how important it is to try new things. They live inside of this little box that really hasn't changed since they where children.
They're generally very nice to me, but they look down on me occasionally. I think it's like ethnocentrism.
But how do you divorce friends?
I. Hate. Attractive. Straight. Suite-mates.
If you are that good looking, you need to wear more than a towel.
So I've been at college since Friday. So far it's been:
1) Overwhelmingly social; we've done about four thousand awkward get-to-know-each-other type events. I think every one of them has had the opposite effect on about 50% of the participants, but it's not bad.
2) Boring and tedious. Aside from the two or three events we have each day, we have nothing to do but fill out Loan/Scholarship info and plan our schedules, which is infinitely more complicated than high school for some reason.
This journal won't be long. I'm so freakishly (random side note: I've loved this word ever since A Series of Unfortunate Events. My cousin is the only person I know who uses the word "excellently", I am the only person I know who says "freakishly") nervous right now, you would not believe. My fingers are literally shaking. It's ridiculous.
Move into my dorms tomorrow morning.
This could be the biggest transition of my life. Wow.
I'm not a drinker, but I could use a coke and rum right now. And tomorrow. And all next week.
Seriously, f*ck you sympathetic nervous system.
1) My sister, who is nineteen, just got her first boyfriend. It makes me smile, because if anyone deserves it, she does. It turns out one of their first conversations was about me; he has a gay brother too, and he was a little nervous when it got brought up, as this was at a military event. But my sister just laughed and told him about me.
2) Knowing this, if I meet another gay guy with military family, I'll take that as a omen.
I'm kinda nervous right now; My cousins just got on the island, and I'm supposed to go get something to eat with my cousin Milton. His name isn't actually Milton, for the record.
Milton's a year older than I am, and much more intelligent, funny and articulate: the unofficial favorite grandson/nephew.
There's no contest really; most of my extended family, Miltons family excluded, treats me like I'm about seven years old: "You cleaned the dishes Just Dave? Oh, good job! Look at that everyone, he cleaned all the dishes!"
A series of observations.
I'm at my grandparents house on the beach right now. It's on a prissy little private island. The houses are uniformly pastel and large, and people drive around on golf carts instead of cars. It's very odd. I have stories about this island.
Just a quick observation; why is it that there are so many negative adjectives that start with a "d"?
Despicable, Disgusting, Detrimental, Derelict, Dishonest, Dreadful, Dirty, Detestable, Deathly, Disrespectful, Demented, Despondent, Deceptive, Dark, Dumb, Devious, Dull, Drab, Demonic, Dubious, Daunting, Dreary, Demanding, Dorky, Dependent, Disagreeable, Dense, Disastrous, Dense, Deranged, Dolorous, Doomed, Depraved.
And the list goes on.
Ok, this is going to be short. It's midnight where, and I'm typing from my bathroom in the hotel because mi madre is asleep. Let's make a list.
1) I have this love/hate thing with the southern United states (I'm in Georgia). My feelings toward it are the same as toward an attractive yet dumb crush; it seems so perfect from the outside looking in, but my personality just doesn't fit. It's quite odd.
Tomorrow's my last day in my hometown. It weirdly just hit me today when it was raining, and I was covered in mud, chasing my dogs around. I know that makes me sound like a crazy person, but it's been ages since I've played with my dogs. Besides, it was cool out for once, and it's not like I have a reputation to uphold.
This Journal had been open for upwards of thirty minutes before I wrote anything.
Trying to write now is like those moments when you turn the salt shaker over and nothing comes out. It could be because there is too much to come out at once, or it could be because there is little left at all.
I'll just start with a dash and we'll see where it goes from there.
It sucks when you know someone well enough that you know exactly what they are saying about you behind your back.
Sorry it's been so long since I've posted.
Gosh, doesn't it suck that all the good ones are straight? Also, I'm in love with a close friend, and I need help coming out to my relatives.
So has anyone heard about that new same sex pairing on Generic Teen Television?!? Soooo cute. Perhaps I will blend the two characters names into one name to confuse the people who read my journals.
SWIMMING SWIMMING SWIMMING MICHAEL CRICHTON SWIMMING SWIMMING.
French Class Girl.
I need to sleep. I need to write after I sleep. 'Night world.
PS: I missed you Oasis. Fuck, this is dependancy.