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so I need to rant
don't want to whining/bitching/ "emoness" then stop reading NOW
you were warned. I also am a little tired of here "oh I'm so sorry" so if you pity me I'd really appreciate it if you didn't leave that on my blog. Hugs and comforting is different then pity.

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so my mother confuses me beyond belief
I'm allowed to be gay
just not allowed to announce it or TELL anyone
BUT I'm allowed to bring female dates to family events
and dress how ever I want
But if I DO any of this
I'm embarrassing her and being "selfish"

Not that it matters I can have any guy in the city I want, but finding a G/F is next to impossible for me

bleh whatever

In other happier news, working my ASS off on a portfolio for a tattoo shop in town thats looking for an apprentice <3 wish me luck

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back again

So I've been gone a while
Dealing with life
which could be better but oh well
but between cleaning to tatu
and watching The L Word
it could be a hell of a lot worse lol

so tomorrow night I go to the gay bar
that should be fun
shaved my hair
feels much cooler

I really just want to come out of the closet all the way
but I can't
I'm scared
*head desk*

I'm going to go watch more L Word

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so today is mothers day
aka another day of back talk from my 3 yr old daughter, temper tantrums and a LARGE lack of cuddles xD
so my mood... well it wasn't where I'd have liked it to be
then Shelby cheered me up
and made me feel appreciated
so I just wanted to make my appreciation of her valued friendship her public <3
thanks darling

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been gone for quite some time

I know I haven't been around for a while.
Things fall apart, and when they do you try to avoid things that will hurt you.
I thought being here would be something that would be hard for me,
you are all so amazing
but someone on here hurt me
really bad
and I just wanted to avoid her
so I didn't come back
but talking to shelby made me want to come back
I miss you guys
and feeling welcome
so here I am
a lot is going on over here
going to court for my daughter
trying to move out
trying to figure out if my sister is going to university or moving in with me

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sick :(

So I'm sick :( and it sucks

I am through half of the stuff from my ex's place!!!

I have a bed again! yay for not having to sleep on the couch anymore!!!

I have a decent wardrobe again! yay for digging out most of my clothes from the boxes from the evil ex's place!!!

So I am sitting her drinking giner ale and getting ready for bed.

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I am not gone!!!!

Hey guys! so i've been gon for like 4 days
damn you life!!!!
super hugs to my girl, Lady_Godiva things really haven;t been the best for her lately :(

I got my tattoo on friday, it's pretty awesome ^_^ I'll totally post a picture of it soonish, I promise.

I am going to buy all 5 seasons of The L Word for Lady_Godiva's two weeks in hell XD okay it won't be hell cause we'll be together, but I do live out in the country of a horrible little town that maybe less homophobic then whenI was 15 but still pretty fucking bad, just not with kids my sisters age and down >.< (sister is 18)

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So it was a long day, lots of cleaning but no time for my room, didn't get the laundry done either so I had to hand wash the shirt I wanted to wear out today cause I just didn't have time to wash it today in like a load. ugh how I hate hand washing clothes.

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scratch my plans

So I was planning to do a LOT of the room today try and get most of it done, but mother wants me to clean her kitchen (I haven't even eaten here since last thurs... so why should I have to clean the kitchen... ugh) her bathroom (I am not the idiot who gets ready for school/work and can't take the extra 30seconds to put the hair dryer away...

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Good Morning World!

So this morning I woke up to finding out my facebook was hacked by the lovely Lady_Godiva last night while I slept lol she's so sweet ♥


Frost unto Mandi... I love you ♥
Share Today at 4:32am | Edit Note | Delete

Enchanting, she was enchanting

I thought to myself silently.

She walked towards me as if floating,

Without attempt, without effort, without the slightest sound.

Unaware, my palm was sweating as I took hers

And we shook hands in formal introduction.

Unlike others hers was remarkable,

Soft to touch yet confident, strong and powerful.

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So I did 1/3 of my bedroom which is filled up above the height of my bed on the frame, with boxes x.x I probably wouldn't care if it actually was all my stuff but it's not, a lot of it is my ex's stuff, probably cause his mistress packed it cause I wasn't welcome into the home that my name was on the lease of, and not as the spouse as the APPLICANT. ya bullshit I know, but I didn't want to go anywhere near that home wrecking whore anyways. So anyways I was going through the stuff, and along with having to throw out all his stuff, they actually put a bag of GARBAGE inside a bag of MY stuff...

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Today's goal

So today I am dedicating the day to cleaning and organizing everything!!! I get to go through my bedroom, which is full of poorly packed boxes from when I moved out of my ex's place. joy. But I ave a great form of motivation to get it all done, you see this amazing women, Lady_Godiva, aka frost, is coming to stay at my place, well my parents, from the 27 until the 13th ^_^~♥ we're going to have soooooooo much fun ^_^ we're going to karaoke, and possible a club too ^_^ and it's only 11 days away! COUNTDOWN WOOT!!!!

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so I came out to my boyfriend before valentines day to make everything easier for him, and I even gave him the option to do everything we had made plans for and shit and I dunno our relationship wasn't really romantic, it was just hanging out like friends, maybe holding hands and kisses good bye seriously, all that really need to change is the kissing thing.

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thank you facebook

a conversation via facebook
Bold = Tara
Italics = Frost
normal = me

what happened, 3 years ago Tara's husband (fiance at the time) kissed me and I told her because I respected her adn thought that was something she needed to know.

Tara-Lynn Oesch — 3 mutual friends

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I am sooooo tired

So it was a long day, totally took my daughter outside she made snow angels and played on her swing, was soooooo cute, I love her to death. Then I was talking to one of my BFFs, he FINALLY got internet again WOOT!!!! and then I glanced at the time and was like "OMG FUCKING GOD I WORK IN 15 MIN" I was in my PJs still, and it's a 10 min drive to work so I just threw my uniform on over my PJ pants, changed my shirt and went to work lol. Then after my shift (9) I stayed til 11 hanging out and talking to Amanda, the cute girl at work, in my hello kitty PJs LOL.

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