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Give me

Give me silence. Give me peace. Give me reassurance. Give me shelter. Give me hope. Give me praise. Give me love. Give me your time. Give me your thoughts. Give me a place in your world.

Don't leave me here alone. Don't go away and leave me with nothing but the fear. Because I am afraid. I cannot leave my home without one of you here beside me; I cannot speak without one of your words to guide me. I am afraid. I am not afraid of the world, nor the people in it. I am afraid of what they are capable of.

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How do you measure a human? Now I mean this seriously (Jeff) so no cock jokes (Jeff) and please try to keep things serious.

What makes a person a person? Can a human be less than a person? If so, how? Can a human be better than others? How? That sort of thing.

Do you believe in the existence of asexuality and bisexuality?

Yes, I believe that both are viable.
100% (14 votes)
I'm good with bisexuality, but not asexuality.
0% (0 votes)
I'm down with asexuality, but bisexuality is a whack concept.
0% (0 votes)
I don't believe in either of them.
0% (0 votes)
I've got no bloody clue. Who cares?
0% (0 votes)
Total votes: 14
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Guess who's back?

Obviously not me.

You may cease your weeping and gnashing of teeth, as I have returned; your omniscient ruler has come to bring its benevolent rule to the Oasis.

In all seriousness, however, I hope y'all remember me. It's been so long! I've been incredibly busy lately, and haven't had nearly enough time to remember vaguely important things like Oasis. So yes. Glad to be here, my lovelies.

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Friends! Romans! Countrymen! Lend me your rears!

I have come to bury Caesar, not to praise him. So let's get on with it and get to my journal:

Ah! 'Tis a beautiful day! This is a perfect day for bananafish!

Yes, I'm feeling good! And that's not normal! But it's good! And there's no notable reason WHY I feel good. I don't have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, the boy I love has not fallen in love with me. It might have something to do with my acquisition of Legend Of Zelda: Skyward Sword, but that's not the only reason. I'm just... Happy! And I don't even have a warm gun.

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I'm off for break- goin' to Acapulco. (I don't actually know where that is. I'm really going to an island.)

In any case, I shan't be lurking on the site like I usually do, so excuse my absence. Adieu, my loves!

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Stark Raving Mad (We Were Born To Confound Until We Die)

I'm in a strange mood. Unfortunately, a lot of who I was seems to be resurfacing in who I am. My old rage that completely devastated my life is coming back, and I'm so angry at everything- at my own very existence- that I just don't know what to do.

I've been having mood swings, and I keep going from high highs to low lows within a matter of hours- even minutes.

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Taking a brief vacation from the Oasis

I'll be back soon. It could last somewhere between a couple of days to a couple of weeks. Not too long, though. See you soon!

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Feelings for a Friend

I'm confused. Conflicted.

I've been thinking a lot about my good friend. We'll call him D.

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Take the Controls (A Poem)

Take a step away from the gun
Take a step towards the sea
Every little thing glitters beneath the sun
Slowly turns the carousel away

Secretive children lie in waiting for mother's call
and dream in smoky technicolor oceans
How much would you bet that they know it all
And that nothing they know is at all what it seems

Take the controls, friend, and take me where
you want to go, and then leave me there.
Take the controls, friend, and take me where
you want to go, and then leave me there.

Everything you take is the giant's new game
no more two cups and the drinking thing

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"They try in vain our minds to chain" - Chumbawamba

I'm feeling interesting, especially since I'm feeling. I've felt numb recently and now I don't. It's nice. I cried yesterday for the first time in months. It was only for a few seconds, but it felt very good to be able to let that out.

Now to the topic of why I cried and the topic of this journal. Doubt.

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For some reason, everything feels so clear right now. I feel like I can see through everything and into the very essence of reality. And I can't describe it- it's a feeling of such intense spiritual joy. I wish I were with someone right now. I wish I could share this feeling. I feel so intensely lonely, because I know this clarity won't last forever, and I want to be able to be this happy around someone else, I want to share my joy. Ah, well. I'm content. I feel like I could close my eyes and sleep for eternity and feel the waves of emotion swirl around me.

And no, I'm not high.

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A Perfect Day (for bananafish)- a journal of random thoughts

Bananafish are curious creatures. They swim into banana holes, and look quite normal at that point. Then, tragically, they eat so many bananas that they get incredibly fat, and can't leave the hole, subsequently dying of banana fever.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about why I have so much trouble and pain in my life, and I realized- it's because of my own thoughts. It's my own fault that I haven't let myself heal. I'm so afraid of falling that I don't try to stand up, instead simply wallowing in the mud. I'm making a conscious decision to try and help myself. It's about time.

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The Cold Crush

I am not a social animal. Starting half a year ago, I have begun to withdraw into myself, to a position where I observe events primarily from a cold, detached perspective. I have lived in a way that I am, in a way, 'not there'. This has shaped my interactions lately. And yet, an exception has come up.

I find myself attracted to a wonderful girl. A beautiful girl. We shall call her Y. I am, I suppose, smitten.

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Thoughts on being an expatriate...

I would like to move to Norway. I am learning Norwegian and I am going to college up North so as to learn to enjoy the cold. Norway is a lovely place with the highest standard of living in the world... Of course, it's a bit difficult to get into. I plan on doing my best, however. A beautiful country with a society that tends to go outside and appreciate natural beauty? Sounds wonderful. So unlike that which I am familiar with. Plus, it's in one of the most lovely parts of Europe. I hope I get to see a stave church. Those are quite lovely.

Anyways, those are my thoughts for now.

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