Last night was atypical. I listened to some music, played some minecraft on my slate. But something felt off, I remembered one of my friends, he's off on training, a weekend warrior hehe. I then suddenly felt lonely, I just slumped to the side of my propped up pillow in my bed. I supposed he's ok, I'm just being silly.
Slight hypochodria has been a thing before but now I'm not really sure. I think for the first time other than lymphnodes acting up maybe I actually have something worse. I'm putting emphasis on maybe, since it could really be anything but I was really taken aback when I first figured out something was not right with my body.
For my two friends, I would've liked at least one call back, at least one message. The least any of you could do for me was that. At least give me that, I never asked, but maybe I should have. I give and give, sometimes there isn't a thank you and that's ok. I look past that because you're a friend of mine.
I woke up that morning unusually active. I found myself finished with some studies earlier. The Weather Channel promised a very nice and bright day, yes, that day I put on my finest flower-print overshirt. I had decided I'd been studying quite a bit the past few weeks and with no plans for the day I chose to buy myself a gift.
I walked into the Theatre and Arts building yesterday, and I noticed the scent of the carpetting, clean and anti-septic. I knew what the scent would do to me, memories of last year came flooding back in their entirety almost. I looked up at the balcony, I guess you could call it, I miss seeing you there and I miss being there with you.
Well there I was in my house alone, and I figured I needed to entertain myself with something. I figured I would seach the old linen closet in search of some old books, one in particular though. From what I remember it was of a maroon color and was probably under and inch thick. But one thing was for sure, it was something about Peanuts comic strips.
I was looking through one of my old journals from June I think it was. About My Little Pony and how it's got this crazy cult following. Well I made a little comment that I should definately go check out one of those conventions that the fans sometimes setup. So I did, I went to, you guessed it, a brony convention.
So yeah Hallmark Channel. Two straight months of Christmas movies, what the hell? I can't watch The Golden Girls because of this, why Hallmark Channel, why? On an unrelated note, my college lacks a GSA. Now it's probably not a big deal seeing as almost any LGBT person by now has some support somewhere.
So I finally decided to check out the LGBT community center that was way across town. No matter what I was going to get there. Well first off, my mother accidentally took my house keys to work with her. I managed to unlock the door anyway, still works too. Then it turns out there were some detours for my bus route because **** me.
I finally got a chance to see it, thanks to Blockbuster having insane price cuts due to their demise. Man, that documentary. The one kid, Alex I think his name was, he reminded me so much of myself at that age because of the things that he went through. Even so, the whole film spoke volumes.
A few days ago I felt lonely. Friends all busy and such, as I should be. Usually that isn't a problem for me, I just occupy myself with any projects or independent research. But that day I just had no idea of what to do, it was pretty horrible. I cried a little too, but a few hours later I felt fine. Perhaps it was too much sugar or something I ate.
The vestige now but once built in a time that was prosperous. We still see many old houses that lay around, the ones unihabited seemingly depressed. Say for example the house that's en route to my college. It sits, boarded up, decrepit and sags on a failing foundation nearly a century old, yet it remains.
A point where I almost saw a blur between friendship and something more.
Ugh, wish I had more time to write. :-\