lonewolf678's picture

Jealousy

I have to admit I am a bit jealous. But of what? The successful rich overprivileged students. What is it I'm jealous of exactly? They can't appreciate their own success. They always want more and can never have enough. I walked by the wall today, it lists the people who are going to college. It's worse that they list the college each student will be attending.

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Selfish obscurity.

My Mom is back at the house, my Dad is helping her out. It's nice that he took the time to do so. I meanwhile have been at the Grandparents house just living here since it's close to my school, so now all I live for is school. Soon I'm going to go back to regular things in two weeks. So until then, I really can't do anything.

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What ales me.

So my Mom has had the corrective sugery for her broken (in three places) ankle. I visited her today along with my grandparents. She seemed to be in good spirits. She's going to need a wheelchair when she gets out of the hospital. I don't know if I'm ready for the responsibilty. This isn't the usual problem, eighteen is going to be the age of responsibilty though.

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Physically / emotionally drained

So today was actually nice, not too many things going on. I haven't seen the "old boyfriend", I think he's avoiding me. I downloaded the album to my phone, so that was good to listen to when I was walking about. I spent some time with favorite teacher and got a text message. Just didn't see any reason to worry.

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Resilience

So me and "possible boyfriend" met up in the morning and hung out, it was pretty cool. I didn't mind it, however something seemed a bit off. I had sent a text message the previous night telling him that we should take things slow. I don't know if that triggered anything, probably not I'm thinking. It was just going smooth.

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Could it be?

So anyway today was a real amazing day. The friend who gave me a shy peck on the cheek has admitted he has had a crush on me! :) So anyway we just found each other a bit after classes were over and we hung out. We talked and exchanged numbers and got to know more about each other. OMG! my first kiss, amazing...

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Modesty

A very exciting day was had! Although not exactly that thrilling, it was quite enjoyable for picking back up on a school schedule.

In one of my classes we were watching a recorded play of "Macbeth", interesting yet boring for me (I honestly can't understand Shakespeare [I need lessons or something]). I find that very ironic because I can appreciate the music from the time yet I can't appreciate some of the culture.

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Vega

I have done some simple research and have come to the obscured conclusion that the banjo itself is from the early 1950's. I removed the resonator and it answered my question of, "Was it originally a open-back banjo?". Yes it was a open-back banjo originally!

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A new start.

My trusty (yet always incapable of fine tuning) Epoch electric hasn't been played for months and it just sat in the music room serving as a decorative piece. Well today I decided to sell it, and lo and behold I saw a Vega banjo in the corner of the pawn shop.

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Motivation.

I don't even remember why I felt motivated, but I just felt like cleaning my living space. It really seemed clean on the surface, but just dig beneath the layer of sheets or jackets covering things and voila; boxes, games, books, wires, and more things.

I started to clean my bedroom, starting on Monday. I wonder if I can get on the show "Hoarders: Buried Alive". Ok, maybe it isn't that bad, but it could be worse. So far I've managed to clean; under the bed, next to the bed, behind the book shelf, behind the stereo, and under the bureau.

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string change

i really need to change my Classical Guitar's strings, it's just the three bronze bass strings. i like the dull sound they get when broken in (sounds more like a lute) but they are getting indented fret marks. well maybe tomorrow i'll change them out.

i was using my old Digital Starion computer (runs Windows 95). i still can't figure out what exactly is the problem since it goes dead after as feww minutes of uptime. i get a messeg saying my computer is low on resources, stupid Internet Explorer 4 eats up lots of memory. well at least i still have the Advanced computer (Win. 95 as well).

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omg. p2

i saw the snow, it was so beautiful and reminded me of the beauty of this world and the good that is in it. i saw the snow, i stepped in it and heard crunches beneath my shoes. it was the very first time i have ever seen snow, i cried. my mother and i went outside and took many photos, and everyone in the neighborhood was outside marvelling at the white gift. children cautiosly observed the snow and played with it, the adults walked the sidewalks and talked of the good fortune brought by the storm.

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OMG! p1

IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED! IT SNOWED!
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reflection

it took a bat flapping around in my attic to help me see. the reason? well while the bat was flapping around and using it's echolocation i got to thinking (i tend to do that a lot anyway [i also tend to overanalyze a lot]). getting back to the point, i started to rationalize and assure myself that i am an okay person and acceptable enough. i've gotten through the depression episode, so yeah. sorry about the mellodrama. all that aside except for the bat which i will speak of next.

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abstract painting

my classical guitar turned another year. although how old it really is i don't know. so i will start at one year old. i love it to pieces and it's one of the instruments i'm more skilled in. i think i might be able to attempt sight reading from notation instead of tablature soon. i have learned "Kemp's Jig" and it's becoming more easier to play, given the insane changes in fretting and speed it's played at, although not difficult it's a step up to what i've previously played.

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