so i'm learning to play Minuet in G Major by: Johann Sebastian Bach. and also learning Minuet in A minor by Henry Purcell. i have not been reading my bible recently, i don't feel bad however i am obligated. i've had to many things to do recently, mainly STUPID ENGLISH 4. anyway back to the bible, i just don't want to forget where i left off. OHH! i just remembered i have a chesse danish behind my notebook (computer)! well i better get back to music theory homework. i still have yet to find time to sign up for the sat's. oh well i can work it out. :)
oh how i wish i could know what my meaning is here on this earth. not to sound preacher-ish but i know that there is a reason (don't ask), i just haven't figured out what my purpose is. surely if i am self aware (that i am) i would have figured it out by now, or maybe because i'm "slow" or something. i just would like to know so i don't screw up the opportunity. of course asking wouldn't be wise after all i do suppose that that's why we live life so we can find out what it is that drives us.
i'll just cut to the chase here. so i was getting my schedule changed, no big deal. i go into the classroom to get a signature and suddenly i'm overtaken by this beautiful guy, he says he's my cousin (never seen him before in my life). so i get the slip signed and the guy (who i will call "N") hugged me in an almost more than friendly way (all sorts of thoughts and feelings start to build). i really hoped he was kidding about the cousin thing because i have no recollection of ever seeing "N" at a family reunion or anything.
i didn't turn in my cap and gown packet. now we have to try the store halfway across the city or turn it in on thursday (of next week). my mom was really disappointed, but how was i supposed to know? people(teachers mostly) gave me different dates for the deadline. so this happened but it's not the end of the world, hopefully.
anyway... i had the chance to engage in a favorite activity, saw three fights at school, played some guitar (like always), and just rotted on the net. around lunch time at school i felt so (randomness ensues now) contented and happy. i was reading a bit of the bible under the big tree and eating a few cherry snacks in the spare time i had after lunch. i just felt so good. i feel good now too. but last night was very odd.
so anyway i've got to do some stuff, get cap and gown, senior ring, sign up for act(s) and sat(s), and apply to some colleges. and only now do i realize how it's so weird that i've never known love. for some reason i see myself in the future doing great... but i've no one to share my life with. i just think i'll meet some guy who only wants my body in some club i hardly ever go to. then ultimatley end up getting, murdered, raped, robbed, beat up, and shit like that. i find so odd that some people can find love, it's so taboo for me.
well i think it's going to suck, but academically of course, well at least i'll get to see my friends and just observe the student body. i wish i was better in math, i just feel like such a failure in math, oh well. i wish i could be better academically, i'm failing two courses i think. i guess i just have to stick it out.
today was nice. well i went with my dad to get some record albums and a hardcover Bible. i feel a little off, as if i forgot to do something, but not.
it's raining and the worries of school are away. i might be failing music theory... but hey at least all my other classes will be fine (i can always make it up). i have started to get more into the Holy Bible, man what a great thing that book is... when ever i look into my favorite psalms i just feel good, i know it's weird to be religious these days but hey. what isn't weird these days?
i just ignored my enemy in class and it went well. :) i'm not stressed about that anymore (just ignore him) but now i have music theory homework. i have to compose a 40 measure piece using only the key of C Major. also now i have to do another in F Major. :( it's hard since our sub doesn't know that some of the people in the class aren't very good with sight reading. especially me. :( i wish the music theory class was easier, of course it was an advanced placement class.
my sworn enemy has transeferred into my class. as if the music theory homework and the bad grade in english weren't enough he had to get into my class. it's a bad day... ok maybe not bad but it's still not that great. i've recently been thinking about making amends but i don't think he would even begin to hear me out. i just wish we could get that hate out of our lives and just move on.
today was very emotional (not in a bad way). classes went fine. the weird guy who sits at my table pissed of some other people so we just told them we weren't associated with him in anyway (lol). MUSIC THEORY! OMG! so anyway mr. music teacher won't be there for 2 weeks, yay! anyway one of the band directors told us to go to the band hall and just have a "quiet study hall" which of course meant chill and do whatever. so anyway this bird busted out on the piano and played the theme from Titanic. then she played a Celine Dion piece (don't know the name.
i like to be philosophical... well today it was raining. in lunch there was a leak in the ceiling and it was coming through those cardboard- like tiles. so a janitor put a bucket (a very large one) under it and poked the tile with a broom handle. and seemingly out-of-nowhere this gush of water came flowing out into the bucket everyone was like "man, i'm going to graduate from this place?". :) it was very funny.
i haven't been paying much attention to my folk guitar. i wonder if i should give it up. i haven't wrote many songs recently. i just feel like i'm being unfair since my classical guitar gets much more attention from me. i know it seems silly, but i don't want to give up being a folk singer. it's very complex, it's not a huge problem eating away at me but i'm wondering if anyone could give me some advice.
today everyone had to stay in the classrooms because there were skunks roaming aroud one of the buildings. can you believe that? it's for real. well anyway it's raining here, and lute music is great to listen to right now. i'm very contented right now. these last few days have been very pleasent and mellow. oh how i cherrish days like these when everything goes the way i'd like them too. today i brought my classical guitar and hung out with some new people (musicians of course). gosh life right now is just fine, after all my life has not been this pleasent and calm in long time.