There was a dream I had about one year ago, perhaps more fitting, a nightmare. This horrible conjuring had never occurred since then, one year ago. It was enough to frighten me, but at the same time enough to let me forget it and move on, to move on in my dreams and adventures in slumber. Only to have it occur once more.
Sometimes far ahead I think,
things will slow and my height will shrink,
when thick lenses weigh down on my nose,
and I'll look at old photos of people in a state of repose.
It doesn't seem like there's a day that goes by and I think about little things. A walk to the bus stop itself seems like more of a tradition now, more than a chore. Two years. Two years of coming and going from that general area. Walking to I think of what I'll experience, walking back I had no idea I'd experience what I did.
I was browsing about at a thrift a few days ago, a few days after the last journal I wrote. I found this nice antique styled Singer sewing machine that was dated about 1951. It was styled after the older ones from the late 19th century to the early 20th. It's little table it was built into had about four little drawers.
Never got a shitload of positive energy like the one yesterday night. So I was at this Deli on the Eastern quarter with my family. And fuckin' out of nowhere this dude is like outside restaurant window rocking out, taking rhythmic drags of his cigarette and soda. All that while rocking a cool purse on his shoulder. That dude rules!
Maybe I ought to invest in a purse... Hmm...
I dvr'd a special on TV last night. It was a documentary about ACT UP, the AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power. The film was titled United in Anger. If you ever wanted to see a film about AIDS activism, this is the one.
Oh blurry thing in my left eye,
why do you visit my eye this time?
You usually don't show up a lot,
but when you do I blink you out.
Blurry thing in my eye,
if you're a cataract say goodbye,
if you're dust, that's cool,
maybe I'll dust this room,
Blurry thing in my eye,
are you always nigh?
For what and why,
do you fancy this eye?
But soon, like always, you then depart from my eye.
Then maybe I'll see you, whenever you come back, next time.
I know of a couple of people I've met throughout my short time on this Earth who've made the case that they weren't ready for bigger and better things. Getting older isn't giving everything up, it's more about doing bigger and better things with your life. Change isn't to be feared, it's something to be embraced.
"... it's people like you, musicians, who make this black and white world colorful."
I never thought someone would ever say such a thing to this out-of-practice musician. I almost cried there on the spot. If just one appreciates what I do, I'll never stop.
There I was, in a home of someone I didn't know, yet she in her old age came from a door and greeted my as if we had been long time friends. I greeted her as she did me. That day she had decided to show me a new antiquity she'd aquired. A beautiful broze lamp that showed it's age graciously, and that wasn't the part that mattered.
So I finally decided to watch the new My Little Pony cartoon. It's pretty neat, can't believe there's this huge fandom and all these conventions the fans setup. I think it'd be sort of fun to go to something like that, it's one hell of a pop culture phenomena. Anyway, crazy things, crazy things that one tries to parse.
This journal will be mostly a rant... Well founded I say, so lets begin. I can't stand people who think a Classical or "nylon string" guitar can be strung with steel strings. Whoever does this is either uninformed or reckless. It compromises the integrity of the; tuners, nut, frets, bridge and saddle. Not to mention it will sound like a dying animal when played.
I'm not sure how I feel about everything that's happend this week. But from what I can tell is that this must be the smoothest week I've had in a few months. Nothing big or insane happened but nothing bland or dull either. Should it be left up to me, yes I'm quite content. However one will always be slightly non.
Things will probably be the same on the outside yet on the inside there is doubt and concern. Unfounded? perhaps, but it is also not out of the realm of possibility that there be founded doubt and concern. One's thoughts can keep one awake at night. Anxiety, stress, concern, lonelyness, struggle, wants, needs... All can keep one from sleep.
As titles suggests, yes assume it. Hanging out with friends is nice, and no classes for a week is cool. I find myself occupied with too much time, and even studying has become fun for me. Nothing wrong with that per se, just never thought I'd look forward to it as much as I do in this current part of living.