AOL CD COLLECTING! yes aol cd collecting. remember those? the cd would come in the mail and you didn't know what to do with it, so you tossed the cd in the trash and kept the case for some other cd. well they're actually worth money now. :)
i'm not scared of heights anymore... i'm scared of cars. i have no idea where my mental health went, but it seems to be gone. i don't know if i need thearapy or something, maybe mood relaxers. i need something to help. i dreamt of the expierience again it freaked me out. i've been trying to preoccupy my mind with positive thoughts but it only works half the time. any help is appreciated.
Excersize No. 1
Capo on 3rd fret
= - Hold string position
recently i've started having a few flashbacks of something i care not to mention. i guess i should be happy since i've found the secret of cloning peoples usernames in chat rooms. i don't know why i'm not happy. i have everything i could ever want, but i feel so empty.
just thinking. i don't know if i ever mentioned i taught myself to read guitar tablature. well i have and i've gone back to my baroque and classical study. i've been familiarizing myself with life. last night my sister's boyfriend beat her up and it woke me up at 4 a.m. it was inevitable. i was so mad... no one disturbs my slumber. so my mom called the cops. long story short my sister has stockholm syndrome for him and she didn't want him to go. so we kicked him out and my sister is still here with her kids. ahh...
a few days ago i got a Jim Dunlop capo for my guitar... and it's so awesome! so i've been working on some stuff (capo on the 3rd fret) and i'm getting really crazy good results. i'm now close to finishing a new folk song, it sounds kind of of like 1960's country, which is the sound i've been shooting for. i haven't recorded much in a few weeks so i'm back on track after the sabbatical in which i worked on my classical and baroque music study, still working on that too.
maybe i write and talk too much about myself.
today i got to thinking about my steel string. the 12 string guitar with 6 strings and covered in stickers. i got the guitar in 2007 from my aunt and uncle who were getting rid of some things. at first i thought nothing of it and i kept it as a decorative piece in the livingroom. in 2008 i started experimenting with the acoustic sound and it went from there. in 2008 i refurbished it to the best of my ability, which was a cleaning, new strings, bridge pins, and a strap. then i put stickers on it like on Beck's guitar, although not the same i recreated a few.
Goin' Nowhere Fast by: Beck from: Banjo Story
All the things they said would happen to you
Don't you know they're all coming true?
Goin' nowhere fast
Nothing's strange as when it seems
You're living out all your worst possible dreams
Goin' nowhere fast
Bad times, worse times, all the times in between
I stumble in my shadow, I tangle in the trees
Goin' nowhere fast
I learned my lesson and I learned it again
I heard what they said, live fast and die stupid
Goin' nowhere fast
My compass is spinning like a gamblin' wheel
so anyway i was in this chatroom and i realize how out of touch i am with the world and my fellow man. my taste in music is awful, my appearence is of death, i know not how to make my emotions work in my favor. then i was in another chatroom having virtual sex with a 36 year old guy, not that it was creepy... but i didn't know what to type. i've never known love and as melancholy as it is i don't think i'll ever know love. love is a stranger as i am to it, it's all so complex.
so today i rode the in the suv... and i didn't freak out or anything. it rides just like it used to. and in other news i got a 2nd generation iPod Shuffle for $20... so i'm totally gonna put Banjo Story on it!
so anyway by some sort of random miracle my mom has a working suv now. turns out it was a wire that was probably accidentally disconnected by someone who changed the oil... i'm very suspicious of that person who ever it was. i'm starting to think about legal action for mental anguish and car expenses, but that's really too much and the evidence has been fixed. the guy who repaired the wiring just wanted to be paid with a 12-pack. anyway the "death machine" is now back to being a 2004 Nissan Xterra.
so anyway... we got back to texas today! this whole week has been very interesting. although i'm worried about my mom, she can't use the "death machine" (as i call it). i've vowed never to ride it again, even if it gets fixed and that's questionable since there are two factors keeping her from affording it. if i may go off topic, i just need some opinions. halfway throught the trip in the Toyota i've started having "mini freakouts" in where i just see it all happen again. i start to shake and start bargaining with god pleading for him to spare me. my mom and dad don't really know about that.
so on the the 19th we left to New Mexico, got a room at a motel at Albequerque. then on the 20th we left New Mexico and got to Denver, Colorado. today we went to a few attractions at Colorado Springs... now were back in Denver. gosh, the Rocky Mountains are beautiful.
so we just got the rental car (and i was not a part of the decision), it's a 2010 Toyota 4 Runner. i saw the recall sticker that assured me that the accelerator wouldn't mess up. althought the sticker had the word safety misspelled... human error or just passed along? whatever, all the new Toyota's have been fixed up so it's no problem. but what a nice slice of humor my dad had when i said "it's a Toyota?". :)