so anyway today me and my family were going to drive up to colorado. it was at a desolate stretch when the cruise control on the suv screwed up. in seconds the speedometer went from 80mph (the speed limit) to 95mph in seconds. i started to freak out but my dad (who was driving) kept calm and slammed on the breaks enough and put the suv in neutral and shut it off. to make this long story short me and my family ended up going back home and we're going to get a rental car. man i hate panic attacks.
i'm so happy! this saturday me and my parents are going to new mexico and then colorado. it's gonna be nice to see a bit more of america, seeing as this is my first out-of-state trip. i don't know if that sounds childish but i'm just excited. oh also today i got my hair thined out after 3 years of just growing it out. i'll just be random right now. you know the years just fly by (of course i'm sure everyone has heard it), but you have to enjoy life.
i love chatrooms, you can be whoever you want. today i was 57 y.o. computer technician/networking administator. i started up a little talk with someone who plays "the game" as it's called on the net. soon i had three expierienced "players" and we just talked about old program languages, of which i am expierienced in. you know stuff like BASIC, FORTRAN, COBOL, stuff like that and i just played it off and made new allies on the digital frontier.
so today i went to a thrift store to browse around. i found this little travel guitar for $9.00 which i thought was overpriced. when i got to the counter to pay i asked why it was so overpriced considering the: no brand name, small size, awful strings, and dirtyness, and i got no answer. i felt so embaressed that i didn't take a second language, spanish inparticular. just because the area i live in is primarily hispanic, including me, doesn't mean i know spanish. there was no other person around to help so i forked over the money and bought it.
well i've been "out" to my dad for awhile and today i "came out" to my mom and it went so well. i never thought that it would go so smoothly but it did and i'm so relieved. in other news my plans to convert one of my junked computers to X Windows is a bust so i just refurbished it to the best of my ability.
well to anyone who wants a pair of googly eyes that follow the movements of their cursor, like xeyes for X Windows, you can get them here:
enjoy wineyes 1.1.
so anyway today i was just soaking in the tub listening to Zendik Tribe Band and i was like "Whoa, this band kicks ass!". i wonder why they never made it, 90's Psychedelic Space Metal is way cool. then i practiced "Volte" on my classical guitar for 2 hours, it's so nice to have lots of free time... although it would be nice to get together with my friends, but they live far away. well in other news i got a Casio Casiotone MT-240, for $8.00, and i've been playing with the Jazz Organ function. gosh i'm just feeling really good and it's just awesome that we're getting some rain here in TX.
i think i posted something with a wrong tag earlier so i apologize to the happy page project, which i didn't know existed. sorry.
it's a new day, the sun is shining, and it's so awesome to be gay. anyway i had this really interesting dream and i just feel so good, i feel so good i could play one of my folk songs right now. however it's a lot of work to get everything together so i won't. oh and the adoption thing has sunken in and everything is just great. i know some maybe wondering about how i might have gotten over it so fast since some consider it fast, but i love my "a" parents and nothing has changed. but for a while i was playing this song in my head:
Goin' Nowhere Fast
i've been doing some thinking and reflecting for a bit and everything seems as though it's going back to the way things were. music has been helpful such as Villanesca, Danza Espanola no.4 from 12 Danzas for Piano written by Enrique Granados. with that said i think it sounds great on the long out of print "Spotlight On Guitar" 1984, performed by Manuel Barrueco on guitar and an unnamed pianist. well anyway i shouldn't get into music right now. i also apologize to anyone whose help i cowardly pushed away, or ran away from, in that fairly small but confusing episode of depression.
these past few days have been very questionable. it seems as though it's some sort of dream. it's reality but my brain just isn't processing, sort of like if you're using MS-DOS and you type a bad command line. if only there was some kind of pill or something to make me think everything was okay, or ok.
to those whose names shall remain anonymous i wouldn't have joined if i wasn't gay.
there's so much pain.
so anyway i'm 17 and last night my dad told me that me and my sister were adopted. i was shocked but i wasen't mad or anything... just shocked. this is the sort of stuff you see on tv or read in a book, i thought. i still love my parents and they're the best. although i'm still trying to grasp what's been said, but it'll sink in eventually.
sometimes i wonder if my only true love is music, sometimes i wonder if it's just a close friend. although music is always around and never hesitates to comfort or soothe. if something happens and leaves me ready to break music is there, it's always there. there to heal, there to love... my only love... there is no other only music. and this is what makes me happy and saddens me all at once.
so i just wanted to share this lute piece, Anonymous: Coranto
follow the link.
there's also more intersting works too that aren't so melancholy like:
Half Hannikin (it's a 17th century english country dance)
both and more performed by Arto Wikla