And now we're still trying to figure out our relationship status.
Details tomorrow because I am still very shaken and also it is half-past one-in-the-morning and I need to go to bed.
Well, apparently today, or yesterday, or last night or some time marks two years since I joined Oasis. I probably won't be sticking around here much anymore (unless something interesting happens, in which case I will definitely come back!), because I just don't need it - I'm happy; don't need the support community anymore - and don't feel like I'm contributing or helping anyone else here anymore either.
I know you'll never read this message - it would be a lot different if you would - but hi anyway.
It's been four years now, since we met. Since I saw you and lost my heart to you from across the room. Since you thought I looked like I needed a friend, and introduced yourself to me after class, unwittingly sealing my fall. Since I was a confused and awkward kid and you were an angel.
So I went on vacation for two weeks... felt like longer. To Oregon, Northern California, thereabouts. It was a good vacation, but I guess I don't really need to detail it here. So... I don't know what I'm writing here, just writing. I do have things to say, maybe...
Check it out!
It's just a local thing - one very beautiful person at my school made this documentary about coming out and being out here. It's kind of long, and I don't think I represent myself very well in it (the best things I had to say, I didn't say because of the warning that 'This will be on YouTube, so there is a chance your family might see it'), but here it is...
At dinner this evening the conversation somehow turned to my brother being a teenager and such (he's fourteen), and "Before long you're going to start dating!" Which led me to laugh, "Wonder who's going to start dating first, you or me?" Which led to Mom saying something like "Yeah, all of a sudden MacAvity's going to have a driver's license, and a boyfriend..."
And I didn't say anything about it until maybe half an hour later.
"So, I was actually thinking this a couple of days ago, completely regardless of Father's Day, bu, for whatever reason, I didn't say anything, and so now seemed like an appropriate time.
It was when you heard about Sage, and you choked up and teared up and sobbed a little. I thought then, This is a man who can cry. This is a man who knows how to weep, and I admire that.
I admire that a lot.
Nothing majorly Oasis-worthy... just life stuff. Totally disjointed, a bit mood-whiplashing, life stuff.
The past few days, I've been making a Roman army costume for no real reason. It's pretty awesome.
Everything's getting all end-of-the-year emotional, as is only to be expected. Bit of stress 'cause of finals, bit of excitement 'cause of good future things, more than a bit of sad 'cause of leaving good past things. Yesterday Leah and I bought packing tape and started packing our boxes. I sent home R2 and the two boxes I brought on move-in day, just as full but with different stuff - then it was the bare necessities, now an equal volume of who-even-knows-what-all, unnecessary stuff, and it's just the bare necessities left in the room.
I can't believe the year's almost over and Leah and I only have one week left as roommates. Waaaahhh.....
But we'll visit each other all the time next year and have sleepovers and stuff. Next year will be great. And I'll have Regi. Everything will be fantastic.
But wow, only one week left......
Yeah, I've been intermittently telling myself for a long time now that I don't care about Solace. Finally it's actually true. Freedom!
I think I was just really close to getting a date, maybe.
This is good.
This is very good.
The none whatsoever ever is looking far less bleak now.
Let's call him Geoffrey because that's his name, and I already have enough trouble remembering that that's his name without giving him a codename to confuse things.
I don't even know why I'm writing this on Oasis. I don't know why I even bother sticking around Oasis anymore - this place is great for kids who need help and support with queer issues, but that's not me anymore. Still queer, yeah, and still a kid even if I'm getting toward the older side of the usual age range here, but not so much with the issues. Really, really lacking in issues right now. So much so that the list of Room 104 Problems looks kind of like this: