You said that you would be my friend. That i was like nobody that you had seen. That i was cool and looked good. That i was in and that we would go places together. Meet people and discover new experiences. A chance to escape my stale existence that i had inhabited to long.
I guess yet again i was wrong.
Fate is such a funny thing in life. Whenever i want for my love life to pick up or get into motion it hardly does. When i just lean back and forget about it it always seems to come.
I am at the library at first break and my friend comes to sit with me. She says
"now i am only saying this as i am your friend and i don't want to hurt you"
Oh god. I know it. I can almost predict what she is about to say. That someone has said something. Behind my back. Made a comment. And what on hmmmmm? That I am gay. I was correct.
I cant describe how much i love this song. Its soothing and moving and is song that is true to me.
YES we have a snow day tomorrow which is the most bizarre thing every here in England and in November. It has been snowing all week and its fascinating. But i have some bad news. My friend that i shall call L was talking to T briefly as he is in her history class and apparently he doesn't really want to come to my party as i haven't really spoken to him. Which yes i completely get and what is wired i am not that bothered! well okay a bit but when she told me instead of thinking "shit, shit oh lord i hate this i need to escape" phrase i normally go through I thought oh well.
It has been slightly snowing here in England which is very rare in november already and quite stupidly exciting . I think it is with all the climate change and blah blah because we hardly every get more then 2 snow days in winter.
Right so i have a long time friend and i have known her for ages and stuff, but she really does not get me at all. It's because i have a kinda obsession to fashion, which she who is completely not into it thinks that it is really unimportant .
Oh no no no i have come down with a terrible cold and have felt crap all day. Also to add to that i have been super anxious all weekend too. So what begin was with my art project in which it is for my portfolio of work and i choose to do fashion photography. I have to have everything finished by the end of this term and thought for my final shoot i could do party wear with the location of a house party at christmas time with all the decorations around the home. So my friend persuaded me to have a christmas party that involved the photography and a party in general.
It was my Grandma's 80th party last night and it has never been such a night of a emotion. Well yes drink does mix into it but that does not strip away everything true. So after the party thing my family and my aunt and uncle went back to my grans and we put some old rat pack music on. Since my grandad died a few years ago my mum gets a bit tearful when all this music that surrounded her youth comes on it comes back to her. So my mum went into a sob and i did feel really sorry for her.
Soo today was very busy as i had 2 exams that lasted 2 hours each on RE and English. Seriously my right hand feels crippled due to all the writing (20 and half pages altogether) so i am exhausted at the moment. In my English exam one of the things we had to do was descriptive writing and the theme was that your on a bus and it has stopped for roadworks. I decided to talk about falling in love with a guy ( yer i know its cheesy but i made it dark)and then he drugs the person and takes them away.
So this is my first post and it seems to have token me ages to do so. I found out about oasis from a blog and love the fact that everybody on here is so supportive for one another. I like who i am as a person and being gay is just another big advantage. People at school always are so critical and judge mental as for a boy my clothes are not the norm in my small town and people do try to make comments just to supply their ego. Personally i think if you bully a gay person, then it is just the same as being racist.