I failed my driving test today. Total bullshit, dudes. I really should've passed, cuz I did everything just fine. I got two automatic failures: one for not looking over my shoulder long enough backing out of an alley (which I DID look backward. Jesus Christ), and another for putting the car in reverse instead of nuetral during an uphill park. Either way, the car rolls to the curb, so what the fuck does it matter? I really strongly dislike my driver's ed teacher. So, because apparently I'm such a horrible driver, I have to retake the test next Wednesday.
My mom found the LGBT book I was reading that my counselor gave me. Which means she can probably put the pieces together and figure out I'm gay. This is horrible. HORRIBLE. I'm not ready to be out to her yet. I needed time to prepare, to be more comfortable with myself. She hasn't confronted me about finding it yet, but I know she will. And I have no idea what to expect. Will she say I'm being stupid, that I'm not really gay? Will she yell at me, disown me, kick me out of the house? Will it change the course of our relationship, will she be ashamed of me?
So, I live in the Midwest, right? Well, as it turns out, the entire area is being overrun by a giant horde of cicadas, which are like locusts, but different. There's a scientific explanation as to why they've invaded, so instead of explaining it, here's the article: http://www.stltoday.com/news/science/article_2d734fd1-74b3-5b6e-a644-fc2...
Was Oasis always contaminated with so much drama? Or has it just gotten this bad recently? Because when I first came on here, nobody argued. Nobody had 100 comments on their journal. Nobody was hateful towards anybody else. Or maybe I just joined during a period of peace. All this hostility and hatred...it's got me bummed. I mean, what's the point? Internet arguing makes everyone look like an idiot. But when we can quit holding grudges and grow up and learn to say I'm sorry, then we become a REAL community. Yeah, I know, I sound like a hippie.
My greatest disappointment in life. No need for further explanation. I could go into detail, but the history between us is much too long. I'm sure some of you can relate to having daddy problems. And not just the "Oh I hate you daddy cuz you didn't buy me a car!" kind of problems. Legitimate problems.
Anyway, I hope you're all having a wonderful day.
My eleven year old sister and I somehow got on the topic of gays and lesbians (don't ask me how) while we were hanging out in the basement, playing the Super Nintendo. She basically told me that lesbians are gross. And disgusting. And horrible. And other negative adjectives that made me feel shitty. I explained to her that no, lesbians are not gross, and I went into a long speech trying to convince her. I dunno if it worked. I mean, she's eleven. She's not necessarily old enough to know the complexities of sexuality.
Today was my first day of Behind the Wheel, or BTW, which is like driving class, basically. Luckily for me, my driving partner is my dear friend Katie, who is awesome. So driving with a good friend made me feel less tense. But still, the instructor is a bit intimidating. I did pretty good for the first day, except the instructor dude kept scolding me for stopping like a foot beyond the stop sign. Jeez. How else am I suppose to see oncoming traffic? Meh whatever. I should be able to pull through it for the next two weeks. Katie makes it SO much better.
I really miss school. I've been out of school for a week and I'm already bored out of my mind. I haven't really accomplished anything on my To Do List for the summer. My friends are being lazy jerks and don't want to hang out, so whatever. I've been trying to get back on track with my poetry, and I have made some progress, but writing poetry is a lot harder than it used to be. Meh. The good news is I have 3 months to do the things I wanted to do. The bad news is that I STILL can't find a freaking job, and I have to start Behind The Wheel in a couple days. I'm so nervous.
Has anybody ever watched that show What Would You Do? These people are paid to act out a scenario, and they see how the public responds to it. For example, in one episode, they hired actors to act like a gay couple and go to a public resturaunt. They also hired an actress to be a waitress who sits there and gay bashes them, just to see how the unknowing public will react. Some people stood up for the gay couple, while others just sat by and did nothing. There are a shit ton of other scenarios that the show does, all of which are done by actors.
This video proves just how ridiculous my sense of humor is.
Hmm...I just learned that one of my friends (we'll refer to her as J) has been crushing on me since 8th grade when we first met. Well, well, well. How flattering. NOBODY ever crushes on me. The only problem is, I don't feel the same about her. And she gets that. We're still friends, but we flirt A LOT, even when her boyfriend is right there. It's pretty damn funny. J likes hugging me, making sexual comments, touching my boobs as a joke (even though she obviously really enjoys it)...all that good flirtatious stuff. So I'm very happy about that, even though I don't see us being together.
Yeah, I know, I wrote a journal not too long ago. Get off my back, okay? XD I'm in a sharing mood. I just wrote my first editorial for AP English and I wanted to post it and get some opinions. It's good practice, cuz I'm gonna be in journalism next year. So, I chose to write my editorial about how women are portrayed in society. Tell me what y'all think, mkay?
The Portrayal of Women in Modern Society
“I’m so fat.”
Well, I've been thinking about something that my therapist brought up briefly during our last session. She knows a woman who is a lesbian, but this woman CHOSE to be a lesbian. Now, let's discuss this. Many of my fellow Oasians insist that no, being gay is not a choice, that you are born gay and that's a part of your being that cannot be changed. But this woman that my therapist was referring to was molested as a child by a male, and raped as a teenager. After such traumatic experiences with men, this woman decided to never trust men and therefore "chose" to be a lesbian.
Some prickhole thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair in German. I think it was a kid from the period before mine. So I sat down and right away I jumped up and yelled "OUCH! SON OF A BITCH, THAT HURT!" in the middle of class, and everybody looked at me weird, and my face turned red. It felt like being stung in the ass by a wasp, and it REALLY took me by surprise. I would love to figure out what dumb ass thought it would be funny to do that. That sort of thing can only be done by someone with the mental capacity of a fucking third grader. I hate people.
Things haven't been going my way since Saturday. My aunt only has a couple of months (if that) to live. The tumor on her liver has gotten so big that there's nothing the doctors can do. How would it feel like, being told how much longer you had to live? I can't imagine what my aunt is going through right now, and it's depressing because she lives in a trailer all alone and I never get to see her because my dad's side of the family is horrible about staying in touch. I want to feel really bad, but I can't because I barely know the woman. Still, I am pretty bummed.