Well, I've been wanting to read the Satanic Bible. Wait! Before you guys freak out, I must make it very clear that I don't want to convert to Satanism. I love reading about different philosophies and religions, and I'm curious as to what Satanism is about. And no, it's not all voodoo rituals and blood sacrifices. Anyway, a man named Anton Szander LaVey wrote the Satanic Bible in which he pretty much sums up his ideas about religion and society. I want to buy it, but when my mom learned that I was gonna try and read it, she FLIPPED.
I want to change my account picture, but some unseen force will not allow me to do so. I've punched my laptop in the face four times now and I need a solution!
Yesterday I had a wonderful session with my therapist. I told her about those racy fantasies I've been having lately, and she basically restated what you guys have told me. That it's completely normal and actually very healthy and natural. We also started discussing the book, another thing I wrote about recently. Very nice, hearing her input about everything. I always feel at peace when I leave her office. She makes me feel good about being who I am.
Bleh. Curse my weird hormones. I've been having, umm, fantasies about girls lately. And when I say girls, of course I'm referring to mainly Amber. The thing is, when I first realized I was in love with Amber, the furthest I imagined us going was cuddling...with clothes on, of course. And maybe a few kisses. My love for her was so pure and innocent and puppy-like. But now...my fantasies are becoming more erotic and racy. I imagine her naked and...well, I won't go into explicit detail.
My therapist gave me this book about sexuality to read. There's a lot of interesting stuff in it, but it's loaded with too many statistics. For example, this book says that gay people are, like, ten times more likely to experience depression and suicidal thoughts. Gee, that makes me feel great. But it also had a reassuring section saying that you don't need to have sex to figure out your sexuality. Does a heterosexual guy need to fuck a girl to figure out if he's straight? No. That's basically the book's arguement. That makes me feel sooo much better.
My party was last night. Half the people I invited never showed up, but it was still amazing. I danced like a diseased elephant, but I didn't care cuz everyone was making a fool out of themselves dancing. After the party, 4 of my friends and I went to my house and watched horror movies and laughed until we almost pissed ourselves and played ping pong. They're all asleep downstairs as I'm writing this. All in all, my 16th birthday was wonderful. And adding up all the money I got from friends and relatives, I am now about 250 dollars richer. Woot!
Today's my birthday! I'm officially 16 years old! Woo! I feel as though life has gone by so quickly. Seems like just yesterday I was only 12 years old...Now I'm thinking about cars and college and jobs and adult stuff. Well, I could write more, but I think that's all I'll write for now. Adios!
Hehehe, I should be writing an English paper right now. We're reading The Winter of Our Discontent, by John Steinbeck. Keep in mind that I LOVE books of all genres. So people are shocked when I tell them that I just don't like John Steinbeck. It's not that he's an "old school author." I simply don't enjoy his style, or the stories he tells. The Winter of Our Discontent is impossible to make any sense of. People are having random conversations that don't make sense, and the whole plotline is SOOOO boring. I get the gist of what's happening, but it just isn't an enjoyable reading experience.
Woo. Just got red streaks in my hair. The process took, like, 2 hours, but it was worth the wait. I'm frankly surprised that my mom would even consider letting me do this, but she was actually supportive of it. She even said I look "cute." Now if I could just get her approval of me getting tattoos someday....
This weekend has been busy. Saturday my family went to Springfield with some family friends. Clothes shopping. Bleh. I'm not the kind of girl who enjoys spending time at department stores trying to find something "hot and stylish." Although I must say that I have been trying to wear more than just T-shirts, which feels good. After the clothes shopping, I went BOOK SHOPPING! I bought three books. Rosemary's Baby, The Shining (Stephen King), and some other book you guys probably haven't heard of. Going to the bookstore was definitely worth all the boring clothes shopping.
I know everyone's been posting videos lately, but this is HILARIOUS.
I feel like posting a lighthearted, depression-free journal today. I'm actually pretty happy right now, for certain reasons. I haven't had a day like this in a long time. I don't know why, but I feel like sharing some stuff about myself with you. So you can get to know me better, here is a list of random things about me:
- I'm not a huge fan of TV. The only thing I like to watch is cartoons. Chowder, Adventure Time, Regular Show, Invader Zim, and Family Guy are among my favorite cartoons. The first three are relatively new shows on Cartoon Network. Check them out if you like cartoons.
I wrote this on an impulse, and I made it up as I went along. No editing. No revision. Nothing. I hesitate to post it for all of you to see, but why not? Feel free to dole out criticism (and compliments). A little constructive criticism will do me some good.
So, I've noticed that some of my fellow Oasians go by their first names. Centerfielder08 is Eli, Dracofang is Shelby...you get my point. I think I'd like it if, from here on out, I was addressed as Jenna. Yes, that is my first name and yes, it is a horrible name. I've been on this site for a month, and I feel comfortable enough with you wonderful people to be called by my first name, Jenna. Thank you for your cooperation.
Good, positive stuff:
1) I entered a writing contest about three months ago and I should be getting the results mailed to me any day now. I probably already told you guys this, but the winner gets 200 dollars and their story published in an award-winning literary journal. And the contest is being held by Columbia, the college I plan on going to.